The Grumbles

Some of my hardest “NO” have been said to others in order to say “YES” to myself.  I used to get mad and frustrated when people would always ask for favors. I would wonder why was the only one they seemed to call, and get pissed off about it.  Those were little grumblings trying to get my attention.  The one person I did not seem to get mad with was myself. It was ME who made these people feel comfortable in asking because I was the one always saying yes.  I started noticing the feeling that were generated when I would say yes and realized I was the one who had all of the control.

I love the quote by Les Brown who says “if you like what you are getting, keep doing what you are doing”  I did not like what I was getting. When I said yes to others, I was saying not to my happiness.  I am definitely not saying that we should not help others but sometimes you have to step back and really examine what you are saying yes to.  Are you helping or are you enabling?  There is a difference.

Take time out before committing to anyone whether you are helping or enabling that person. For me, once I learned the difference, I decide more carefully what I will say “YES” to.  The grumbling deep down inside yourself is trying to tell you something. Take a moment to listen.