Simply Ask: Your Chances of a Yes Increase by Fifty Percent

“Always ask yourself: “What will happen if I say nothing?”  ― Kamand Kojouri

I’m learning that the most powerful thing I can do is to simply ask. Here are three lessons I have learned over time.

Lesson One: Asking for help or asking for the opinion of others, doesn’t diminish who you are.

In the past, I have been so afraid to ask people for help or even to simply ask for their opinion. I still struggle at times but I think the older I get and the more I realize I have a purpose here on this Earth, if I don’t ask I am missing out on a golden opportunity to grow and connect with someone else. I have learned over the past few years, the more comfortable I am in knowing who I am, the less threatened I feel by someone else’s opinion.

One way I got more comfortable with other people’s opinion was during the time I was meeting with another person of faith. Our opinions were different but I focused on what we had in common. We would sit for hours discussing our views on faith. It was during this time, realized, I was comfortable with my views and at the same time could honor they other person’s view without feeling diminished. Eventually we parted ways but our friendship remains.

Lesson Two: By not asking, we automatically assume the answer is no.

My youngest daughter was one of the biggest offenders of this mental assumption as she was growing up. She was always getting herself in trouble because she was so sneaky. She would try and sneak cookies and snacks. She would take things from her sister without asking all of the time. It was so darn frustrating because we told her all of the time, “all you have to do is ask.” Asking didn’t mean she would always get what she wanted but it gave the person she was asking the opportunity to either say yes or no. I am now seeing this with my granddaughter.

Lesson Three: We allow people the opportunity to participate in our lives.

There are always two people in an equation. Allowing the person the opportunity to participate can be a gift if you allow it to be. Just think about how you feel when someone asks you for your opinion, or ask for your assistance on a project. (We’re talking about healthy boundaries and not people pleasing at this moment which is a whole other subject.)

Here are a few of my takeaways:

1. Ask yourself, “what’s the worst that can happen?” If you choose not to ask, you are already assuming the answer is no.
2. Consider how the other person might feel. Allow them the opportunity to participate.
3. Seek help and guidance from others. There is someone who has been through the same stuff.
4. Remember, you are awesome. So give yourself some Grace!!

I am not trying to pretend that asking is always easy, but it can get easier when you you take small steps. I had to hire a sales coach to help with asking for things regarding my business. I had to talk with a relationships person when I struggle with personal issues. When I need help and I am learning to ask and so can you.

We are building an empowerment and leadership network via Meetup if you are looking for a group to connect with.

• Confident Strides Personal Development Group: https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
• Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network: https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
• Confident Strides Professional Women’s Network: https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
• Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network: https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/ask