Sweet N Social

Author: Tonia Tyler

  • The Transformation

    The Transformation

    Anything worth value will take time and effort to cultivate.  Like writing this blog post. I started writing several years ago.  Writing has never been something I saw myself doing.  I struggle on many occasions to come up with topic to discuss because like so many of us, I don’t think I am “smart” enough.  The experts were once amateurs. It comes down to realizing that with practice, any of us can develop our skills in any area that we choose.

    A friend of mine always says “the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thoughts”.  If we hold onto “wormy” thoughts, such as I am not good enough, we will never transform into the beautiful butterfly that is within us.  As with anything, pay attention to those thoughts.  Awareness is the first step in self-creation. The second step is working to changing them.

    The process may sound easy but the concept is not and I understand that. Best believe that changing your thoughts, will definitely change your life. And you are worth it.

     

  • Live for Today

    Live for Today

    By the time this posts, I will have been to Missouri and back.  My family and I are heading to Ft Leonard Wood to see my son graduate from basic training.  I have been able to follow his training along through Facebook posts that the company has shared.  The closer we get to graduation, the more excited I am getting. I haven’t seen my son in over two months, so even if it’s just for two days, the seven hour drive is worth it.

    Last night, just before I went to bed, thinking about seeing my son had me thinking about those who have lost loved ones. I lost my mother over fourteen years ago.  I miss her but I am not “lost” without her.  We had a wonderful relationship and I told her everything.  I was able to talk with her the day before she died, and after all of the years that have passed, I still remember my last words to her, “Mom, get some rest. I love you.”

    That memory reminds me that I must never take anything or anyone for granted.  It’s not about how long we live but how we live that matters.  Let those who are close to you know that they matter and how much you love them.  No one is promised tomorrow so learn to live today!

  • Apple Juice

    Apple Juice

    I love watching my granddaughter grow up because as she is learning, I’m still learning through her.  The latest lesson came from watching her transition from the bottle to the sippy cup.  We have been trying to introduce juices to her through the sippy cup instead of just giving in and giving her the bottle when she asks for it.

    I would put the apple juice in a small cup and offer it to her after she finished eating her breakfast.  She would push the cup away or throw it while still asking for her bottle.  I couldn’t even get her to take a sip. I slowly began to realize we were tackling two different issues; new cup and new juice. We would have to change our strategy.  Slowly we would offer water in the sippy cup and she would drink it. Once she became more comfortable with the sippy cup we would offer apple juice in the cup.  Once she started taking the apple juice we offered milk in the sippy cup as well.

    It wasn’t until we noticed that everything can’t be offered at once.  It takes “baby steps” in order to change.  This practice is one I always have to remind myself as I try and implement new habits.  As my granddaughter reminded me, do not give me “change” all at once, offer me a “little change” at a time.

     

     

  • Not Today!

    Not Today!

    My favorite quote is “how you do anything is how you do everything.”  Its in those moments when I feel like giving up or simply thinking that no one will know the difference that this thought always comes to mind.

    It is not true that no one will know the difference, YOU will!  And that is the most important person it should mean the most to.  Only you know the thoughts that are floating around in your head. The negative ones are the ones that keep you from living the kind of life you want to live. Its the thoughts that we feed on that create the reality of our lives.

    Once I learned that little tidbit of information, I started to pay closer attention to the thoughts I had once let roam freely in my mind.  I stand guard each day to the quality of thoughts that I will allow to enter my mind or even attempt to tiptoe in.  I must admit that once I decided to take care of my mind like I take care of my body,  life got a whole lot more generous!

  • My Way Mentality

    My Way Mentality

    When my children were younger, I took on many of the tasks of child rearing not considering what effect it had on my husband.  There are many joys and frustrations that come with raising children.  Many arguments usually started at times when I was tired and just didn’t know how to ask for help.  I took too much on and wasn’t willing to share the load with my partner because I though it had to be done MY way.  When people offer to help, let them.  We get so caught of in the belief that if something is not done in a particular way, that it is wrong.

    Of course at the time I didn’t know this.  It is now, as a grandparent, that I realized that some of the frustration was self-induced.  My husband loves taking care of our granddaughter. I can see how it has changed him and I know she absolutely loves to spend time with him.

    Many people just want to know that they matter.  By opening yourself up to receive help from others,  you are allowing them to experience purpose and meaning in their life.

  • Plant Yourself a Garden

    Plant Yourself a Garden

    What is it about reading that I love?  I was not always a reader.  I picked up the habit of reading more once I turned off the television.  I love to read nonfiction books. The self-help to the neuroscience.  Not everything I read do I understand at first, but the more I read, the more I learn and start to understand.  Slowly the information sinks in to my brain.

    It has happened over many years that some of the information that I’ve read started to make sense years after I’ve read it.  It’s like planting a garden. The harvest will not bloom immediately, but eventually the seeds start to sprout.  I start to understand.  Another way to look at it is in the effects of compound interest.  We build a foundation and everything after the foundation is built upon the information that we learned previously. Each layer is helping you raise up to the next level. Each new book plants a new fruit, flower or tree.

    I would also like to share that the more I read, the more my world expands.  You do not have to put into action everything that you read nor do you necessary have to agree with the author’s opinion. Learn to process what works for you and let go of the stuff that doesn’t. In the end, you have a much broader harvest to pick from.

  • The Fill Up

    The Fill Up

    When is enough, enough?  There is a such thing as being there to help your friends in times of need but when your friend no longer takes responsibility for the decisions that they make. Its okay to say “NO”.  It’s called self-care and there is nothing selfish about it.

    Many years ago I learned that so many of us are always ready to help others but fail to put the same kind of energy into helping ourselves.  We can’t pour out what we have not taken the time to pour into.  I like to think of ourselves as vehicles on this Earth. We zoom around running errands for our children, spouses, and friends.  As in life, we need to gas up the car in order to keep the car in motion.  The self-care that we do for ourselves is like going to the gas station for a fill up.  When we don take acre of the car, we run the risk of damaging the vehicle.  Everyone I know, hates to see the check engine light come on. That’s the same thing that our bodies are doing with headaches, backaches and other aches.

    Don’t wait for the check engine light to come on before you decide to take care of yourself.  You are just as important as your children, spouse and friends. We are given this one life to live. Make is your best life by taking care of yourself like you take care of your car.

  • It’s Time to Donate

    It’s Time to Donate

    For many years I had adopted the habit of clearing out my closet in order to make room for the winter clothes by putting the summer clothes in storage bins and pulling out the the old winter clothes. I know this is a common practice for many of us. I would go out and buy extra hangers and hold onto clothes that no longer fit me, not to mention were out-dated. It was a habit I picked up watching my mother do for years.

    It wasn’t until I realized that this practice was an old unconscionable belief that perpetuated from a scarcity mindset. I would justify holding on to things with the “just in case” mentality. I stated in “Seasons of Change“, we have to clear out some of our old thoughts and ideas in order to prepare for the new season. I still believe it’s true but what I would like to add is pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and actions. Awareness is the key. And if you ever find yourself thinking “I need to buy more hangers”, it just might mean it’s time to donate.

  • Hit The Light Switch

    Hit The Light Switch

    I have to say the most profound changes in my life happened when I decided to take my life off autopilot. I began to question some of the beliefs that I had held on to for years.  In the beginning it was the small things that I began to ponder like why do I drink coffee with my breakfast, to eventually leading to my bigger questions, like how do I really feel about marriage. Some of the answers I received in return shocked me.

    Awareness is the definitely key to change.  Effective and long lasting change has to come from something deeper then just wanting it. Taking time out to understand the driving force, the “why” behind the change is what makes it really take hold.  To me, awareness was like switching on a light switch and looking for the cobwebs within the room.  What I found were old beliefs and outdated actions that no longer served their purpose.  Imagine what you will find when you begin to look inside yourself.  The answers just might surprise you.

  • Ready, Set, Go

    There are many teachers that will come and go in our lives. One of the funniest and littlest teachers I have in my life is my two year old granddaughter.  Her favorite game is Ready – Set – Go and then she runs as fast as she can. Her little legs be moving and she goes until she comes a spot where she has to turn around or someone catches her and then she starts the Ready -Set -Go game again. She can play this game all day.

    I remember playing this game when I was much younger.  I had no specific place in mind but the object was to just take off.  Run as fast as I could.  I think over the years, many of us loose the enthusiasm to go all out. To just give whatever it is we want all that we have to give.  Its time to get Ready – Set (Take aim) and Go. Live life with passion and enthusiasm that we were naturally born with.