Sweet N Social

Author: Tonia Tyler

  • My Way Mentality

    My Way Mentality

    When my children were younger, I took on many of the tasks of child rearing not considering what effect it had on my husband.  There are many joys and frustrations that come with raising children.  Many arguments usually started at times when I was tired and just didn’t know how to ask for help.  I took too much on and wasn’t willing to share the load with my partner because I though it had to be done MY way.  When people offer to help, let them.  We get so caught of in the belief that if something is not done in a particular way, that it is wrong.

    Of course at the time I didn’t know this.  It is now, as a grandparent, that I realized that some of the frustration was self-induced.  My husband loves taking care of our granddaughter. I can see how it has changed him and I know she absolutely loves to spend time with him.

    Many people just want to know that they matter.  By opening yourself up to receive help from others,  you are allowing them to experience purpose and meaning in their life.

  • Plant Yourself a Garden

    Plant Yourself a Garden

    What is it about reading that I love?  I was not always a reader.  I picked up the habit of reading more once I turned off the television.  I love to read nonfiction books. The self-help to the neuroscience.  Not everything I read do I understand at first, but the more I read, the more I learn and start to understand.  Slowly the information sinks in to my brain.

    It has happened over many years that some of the information that I’ve read started to make sense years after I’ve read it.  It’s like planting a garden. The harvest will not bloom immediately, but eventually the seeds start to sprout.  I start to understand.  Another way to look at it is in the effects of compound interest.  We build a foundation and everything after the foundation is built upon the information that we learned previously. Each layer is helping you raise up to the next level. Each new book plants a new fruit, flower or tree.

    I would also like to share that the more I read, the more my world expands.  You do not have to put into action everything that you read nor do you necessary have to agree with the author’s opinion. Learn to process what works for you and let go of the stuff that doesn’t. In the end, you have a much broader harvest to pick from.

  • The Fill Up

    The Fill Up

    When is enough, enough?  There is a such thing as being there to help your friends in times of need but when your friend no longer takes responsibility for the decisions that they make. Its okay to say “NO”.  It’s called self-care and there is nothing selfish about it.

    Many years ago I learned that so many of us are always ready to help others but fail to put the same kind of energy into helping ourselves.  We can’t pour out what we have not taken the time to pour into.  I like to think of ourselves as vehicles on this Earth. We zoom around running errands for our children, spouses, and friends.  As in life, we need to gas up the car in order to keep the car in motion.  The self-care that we do for ourselves is like going to the gas station for a fill up.  When we don take acre of the car, we run the risk of damaging the vehicle.  Everyone I know, hates to see the check engine light come on. That’s the same thing that our bodies are doing with headaches, backaches and other aches.

    Don’t wait for the check engine light to come on before you decide to take care of yourself.  You are just as important as your children, spouse and friends. We are given this one life to live. Make is your best life by taking care of yourself like you take care of your car.

  • It’s Time to Donate

    It’s Time to Donate

    For many years I had adopted the habit of clearing out my closet in order to make room for the winter clothes by putting the summer clothes in storage bins and pulling out the the old winter clothes. I know this is a common practice for many of us. I would go out and buy extra hangers and hold onto clothes that no longer fit me, not to mention were out-dated. It was a habit I picked up watching my mother do for years.

    It wasn’t until I realized that this practice was an old unconscionable belief that perpetuated from a scarcity mindset. I would justify holding on to things with the “just in case” mentality. I stated in “Seasons of Change“, we have to clear out some of our old thoughts and ideas in order to prepare for the new season. I still believe it’s true but what I would like to add is pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and actions. Awareness is the key. And if you ever find yourself thinking “I need to buy more hangers”, it just might mean it’s time to donate.

  • Hit The Light Switch

    Hit The Light Switch

    I have to say the most profound changes in my life happened when I decided to take my life off autopilot. I began to question some of the beliefs that I had held on to for years.  In the beginning it was the small things that I began to ponder like why do I drink coffee with my breakfast, to eventually leading to my bigger questions, like how do I really feel about marriage. Some of the answers I received in return shocked me.

    Awareness is the definitely key to change.  Effective and long lasting change has to come from something deeper then just wanting it. Taking time out to understand the driving force, the “why” behind the change is what makes it really take hold.  To me, awareness was like switching on a light switch and looking for the cobwebs within the room.  What I found were old beliefs and outdated actions that no longer served their purpose.  Imagine what you will find when you begin to look inside yourself.  The answers just might surprise you.

  • Ready, Set, Go

    There are many teachers that will come and go in our lives. One of the funniest and littlest teachers I have in my life is my two year old granddaughter.  Her favorite game is Ready – Set – Go and then she runs as fast as she can. Her little legs be moving and she goes until she comes a spot where she has to turn around or someone catches her and then she starts the Ready -Set -Go game again. She can play this game all day.

    I remember playing this game when I was much younger.  I had no specific place in mind but the object was to just take off.  Run as fast as I could.  I think over the years, many of us loose the enthusiasm to go all out. To just give whatever it is we want all that we have to give.  Its time to get Ready – Set (Take aim) and Go. Live life with passion and enthusiasm that we were naturally born with.

  • Playing Catch

    Playing Catch

    Today is the day I walk with a walking club.  I don’t compete but I do use other walkers as incentive to push myself.  In most cases, you look for a walker who is ahead of you and you make them your focal point.  Once I can find a target walker, I put my head down and focus on my walking technique and breathing.  With such focus, you can usually “walk them down” in other words, you can catch them.  I’ve been catch and I have caught others.

    I did not try and walk anyone down today. I started late so I just focused on my walking stride and breath. I did start to pass people.  After the walk was over, a gentleman can over and told me he looks for me on the trail.  I’ve seen this man on several occasions but we’ve never spoken to each other before.  He told me he had to let me know, he looks to try and stay ahead a head of me but he knows that I will pass him eventually.

    What I’ve found most beneficial is to not worry about who is behind you. Stay focused on whose ahead.  Its not about getting catch, its about making them reach.

  • Goal Analysis

    Goal Analysis

    Like so many people, I struggle with getting things done, especially if it makes me feel like work to me.  It’s a real struggle especially when I retired from the military years ago.  I battle with laziness.  I know if I can admit it, I am recognizing it, and ultimately I can change it. Like a cost analysis, I assess my productivity by conducting a goal analysis.  Its simple. Let me explain.

    On many occasions for instance, I love to run to my favorite book buying spot to browse the books. I use browsing loosely because I can always find something to buy.  I have many books at home, not to mention a library reading list that will definitely take time to read through. What I have to do for myself is redirect my impulse to run to the store towards something that will actually get me closer to creating a legacy for my family.  I know that just buying more books will not get me there.

    Awareness is the first key to conducting my analysis.  I ask myself this: “is what I want to do going to get me closer or father away from my goal?” If the answer is no, the next question is: “what action can I do right now, that will?” I realize it just a simple matter of redirecting my energy and focus into more productive activities that will get me closer to what I want to achieve in life rather than what I want to buy throughout life.

  • Sharing is Caring

    Sharing is Caring

    I started recording little videos and sharing tidbits of my story online because I read so many success books over the years. I realized that the best part of your learning is in sharing the knowledge you gain with others.  For example when a woman buys a new dress and she gets a great deal on it, she will, like many other woman, she will tell you where she got it and more than likely, how much she paid for it.  I do it!

    Like the things we buy, holding on to it will not benefit anyone in the end.  The more you share, the more knowledge we gain in return.  It’s like creativity or oxygen, you simply can’t run out of it.

  • Bible Study

    Bible Study

    I love learning something new. To me, it keeps life interesting.  My reading journey started about five years ago when I was going through a transitional period in my life. I never really had a desire for reading but at this particular time in my life I was looking for answers.  I started out reading spiritual books. When I would see the scriptures in the books I wanted to know if the Bible matched the context in which it was being used.  I guess you could call it “fact checking”.  I found myself  reading the Bible more and started to come to my own sense of understanding, my own Truth, of the parables.

    You never know where the journey will take you. Fast forward, two years later, as I began to work with a new direct selling company, I pondered who I could market my products to. My daughter had just had a baby and I was planning on watching my granddaughter when my daughter returned to work. The traditional networking avenues I was familiar with were no longer an option.  My creativity kicked in one day when a Jehovah Witness  stopped by to visit my home. They came to share their good news.  I thought to myself I could share mine too.  That one visit turned into several.  They visited with me for over six months.

    What I learned during those visits had to do more with how I interacted with others as we discussed a the hot topic of religion.  I learned its okay to not only agree or disagree, but to express myself without threatening someone else’s belief. We are all entitled to out opinions. Someone else’s belief does not diminish who you are.