When you know that you are on the right path many new opportunities seem to be “pop up”. Not all distractions are “bad”. In times of temptation, keep clarity. Make sure that you have your goal or vision handy and that it is written down. Review it often. Don’t get caught off guard by distractions.
Photo credit: click here.
I learned a few great adages from my time in the military in which I still use to navigate life’s challenges. One that I still find myself saying and sharing with is others is “adapt and overcome”. It is a reminder to me to be flexible in dealing with situations, circumstances and people. Great time to us this is when you feel frustration setting in, stop, breathe and re-evaluate.
Photo credit: click here.
Sometimes you just have to say yes to an opportunity and then figure out the details later. Often our first response is to say no. Opportunities come to move you and to help you grow. The key factor is to remember that all prayers are answered. The answers just may not come in the form of our expectations.
Photo credit: click here.
Here is a sad truth, for years I would wear undergarments that were worn out and had holes. I made sure everyone in my family was taken care of but never invested the same energy into myself. I looked great on the outside but was holey and tore up underneath, until I raised my standards. Self-esteem can be the biggest deterrent to achieving success if left un-examined. Raise your standards by first paying attention to how you talk to yourself. Would you talk to a friend the same way?
Photo credit: click here.
I was at a four way intersection where it was myself and one other car. I was going straight and they were turning left. I signaled the woman to go ahead and she did the same in return. As I was about to go through she started to go, we both stopped and proceed to go through the same action again. This time as she was turning I saw she clearly was expressing her displeasure towards me. I just sat in amazement.
At some point in your life, if acts of kindness cause you to get angry, you might want to take a hard look at yourself and ask why. You can’t change what your are not willing to confront.
Photo credit: click here.
Not everyone is going to support your dream and that’s okay. Everyone is here with a vision or purpose all of their own. When you allow the behavior or emotions of another keep you from your greatness, you are saying that their wants are more important then what you were designed for. You were given the gift of life, what you do with it is your gift back.
Photo credit: click here.
Anyone who drives knows that you can’t drive forever on one tank of gas. You have to fuel up in order to keep going. Stopping to take care of yourself is a lot like stopping to refuel. Self care is not selfish, it is necessary. In order to make this journey called life, stop riding on fumes and refuel.
Photo credit: click here.
Time is a precious commodity so the greatest gift you can give to another is your undivided attention. Put your cell phone down when talking to others or address people by their name and watch their reactions. People will engage with you. We all have a desire to be heard and that we matter.
This post was inspired by a conversation I had with my daughter:
She was upset when I picked up from work and was ready to quit her job because of the “drama” of her co-workers. The advice I gave her was that yes at times you do have to move on but no matter if you change schools, change jobs or even change spouses, the drama free life you are looking for won’t happen until you do some changing within yourself. You have to learn to let go!
I am still amazed how we can allow one person to affect us in our daily lives and in how we see ourselves and view success. I want you to see that you have the power of choice on your side and show you that it’s not the situation that’s important, but how we choose to react that will make a world of difference.
I let go of other people’s “drama” by learning three things:
Truly, no one has power over you unless you give it to them.
#1 Harness the Power of Control:
For years I was concerned about what people thought of me, if they liked me, was a doing a good job, but then I realized that I have the power of choice on my side. It wasn’t until I went to Oprah’s Live the Life You want to Live Weekend Tour in August of 2014. I went to this event by myself and realized that some trips are best taken alone! It caused my perspective of life to shift. It was a 3 day event in Detroit. We were given the cool battery operated LED wristbands that light up during the event. I wore mine for several months despite the fact that battery died shortly after the event. On the wristband, it says “Oprah’s the Life You Want Weekend” It became a daily reminder to me that we all have a choice in every second, of every minute of every day in how we choose to live our lives. As the sun rises each day so are the chances to make new choices.
The more happiness I experienced, the less I wanted to it relinquish it because of someone else’s “drama”.
#2 Eliminating as Much Negativity as Possible:
I love how The Late Dr. Maya Angelou has so eloquently expressed… “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” I first had to stop calling what we so often refer to as failures and setbacks in our lives as mistakes and realized they were learning opportunities. They became my lessons learned.
In life’s lessons there are so often things that we need to learn from them to prepare us for the next challenge. In learning that I can’t control other people’s thought, actions or emotions, life started to become more fun and interesting. I was able to laugh at myself more freely and with less judgement. The more I become aware of my behaviors the more I seem to pick up on the behaviors of others. As my self-awareness expanded the more empathetic I became. Being more empathetic opened the door to identifying with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others, which simply meant I could relate more to others
#3 Practice Daily Mindfulness:
I am not free of judgmental thoughts but I am more aware of when these thoughts and attitudes arise. With expanded awareness you’re able to make more conscious decisions that can lead to better choices. By making better choices I have had more desirable outcomes and more meaningful relationships.
I don’t react to people, to the news and to life’s everyday situations that would “back in the day” set me off. With the power of choice comes the freedom to live life on your terms. I find myself no longer bound by the thoughts or opinions of others. I am not where I would like to be, but I am not the person I was. And if success can be measured by liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. Then I am truly successful!
In Jack Canfield’s Success Principle’s he expresses this in a simple and easy to remember equation: E + R =O. (Event +Reaction=Outcome). In this equation the only thing you have control over is the R (your reaction to the event).
As I stated in the beginning we so often give power to people by allowing them to affect our moods, our days and our lives. By harnessing the power of choice, choosing to eliminate as much negativity as possible from your life and practicing mindfulness to expand your self-awareness you are able to put your life back into focus.
It’s like rebooting yourself back to your original default setting. When you harness that power, you will honestly proclaim:
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
–Invictus – Poem by William Ernest Henley
Poem Credit: http://poemhunter.com/poem/invictus/
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ― Dalai Lama XIV
By meditating on a regular basis I become aware of my thoughts. The more aware I became of my thoughts the more I started making wiser choices on what I paid attention to and where I focused my efforts.
The first thing that captured my attention was the commercials during television shows. I started paying more attention to what was being advertised and I realized that most of the commercials are fear-based messages that try to coerce you into some type of action, which is primarily to sell their product like the latest dish washing liquid doesn’t kill enough germ causing bacteria. Another thing I started noticing was a commercial with a catchy jingle isn’t quite so annoying by the 3rd time you hear it. I started putting the commercials on mute.
The next thing that I started noticing was the amount of negativity in everyday conversation. The more I tried to focus on eliminating negativity from my conversations the more I found reasons to celebrate even the littlest things. I found myself singing to the radio and actually dancing around the house as I did such things like vacuuming and cooking. I eventually stopped watching TV all together.
My days have been more productive and less stressful. I have more time to relax and enjoy things like lying in my hammock, taking morning walks in the park and spending quality time with my family. I started exercising and found a desire to start cleaning out my garage that has been on my to-do list for two years.
What I found is that when you find the joy and appreciation for who you are there is no way anyone can steal that joy from you because it comes from deep within.
Sweet N Social 
