Category: Awareness

  • Thank You

    Thank You

    The most enjoyable time of my day is when I get the chance to sit outside with my dogs, enjoy my morning coffee and watch the sun come up over the horizon.  I sit outside on the deck listening to the birds chirp and the cars drive by. DSCF5996 I look for the butterflies to flutter around in the yard.  I really get excited when I see the beautiful Monarch butterflies.

    Now that the weather is getting cooler, the morning breeze is a little bit crisper. It causes little goose pimples on my arms and legs to rise. The sunlight is getting brighter. I sip on my coffee and take in a deep breath.  I see the dew on the grass.  This is when I realize that I am right where I need to be. I say “thank you God!”

  • Raise the Standards

    Raise the Standards

    We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. – Lynn Hall

    I just came back from an eleven day trip that took me to Dallas, Los Angeles and San Francisco.  I spent some much needed time with family in San Francisco.  I had a chance to step back from my work and see where I was headed. I was getting frustrated not at my clients but with myself.

    Each week I try to share a lesson learned. This week I learned the power of clarity.  When I stated my business a few years ago, I really had no clue in the direction I wanted to take.  I had this great notion that I wanted to be of service and basically that’s all I really understood.  I started managing social media sites for clients that needed help building their audience.  I did not have any set price or service plan in mind.  I worked hard on building a relationship with my clients and I can honestly say that it worked for me in the beginning.

    I would say it took about a year for a frustration to set in.  I felt like the clients were taking advantage of my kindness, but I would never address this concern.  It wasn’t until recently that I realized it wasn’t my clients that were taking advantage of me, it was that I didn’t value myself to raise the standard.

    Lessons Learned:

    1. Be clear about what you will or will not do.

    People are not mind readers. They will not give you more of anything unless you ask.  In the same token, it’s their right whether they choose to continue to work with you or not.   It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.

    1. It’s ok to say no.

    Sometimes people will respect you more for being honest in what you won’t do instead of saying yes and botching it up.  If you know in your heart you don’t want to take on a particular project, just say so.  You have the right to say no in the beginning.

    1. You can change your mind.

    It’s ok to change your mind. It truly means you are growing.  There is nothing that says you can’t change your mind. Figure out what works and change what’s not. Don’t beat yourself up!

    Not everyone will like the change, but the empowerment you will gain is priceless.

    Quote source: http://www.quotegarden.com/change.htm

  • The Healing Power of Forgiveness

    The Healing Power of Forgiveness

    You cannot change what you refuse to confront – Unknown

    Let me tell you at least one thing I gained when I decided to forgive myself.  My second husband and I have been divorced for over 10 years.  When we divorced, it was not on the best of terms.  There was infidelity and abuse in our marriage that both of us could claim.  We had one child born out of this marriage.  My ex-husband paid his child support and maintained a relationship with our child.  We had always been cordial to each other but since I remarried shortly after our divorce I think that may have contributed to the distance in his and my son’s relationship.  Our child is now 15 years old and for the past year or so, I have wanted my son’s father to be more involved then he has been.  This is where the healing power of forgiveness really made a change.

    In 2013, I was involved in a car accident.  The car was totaled and I walked away with just a few bruises on my arm from where the airbag deployed.  It was a single car accident.  I was checked out by paramedics and then placed in the back of a police car while they did they initial investigation and the tow truck arrived.  While in the police car, a calming presence came over me and I felt that everything was going to be fine.  I was at peace for just a moment. It is a feeling that I have never forgotten.  My spiritual transformation had just begun.

    In 2014, I started meditating.  There were little thoughts that would pop into my head like “it’s not your burden to carry” or the “road won’t be easy but I’ll protect you”.  I also started reading both spiritual and self-improvement books.  Here are some books that really made an impact:

    The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle; Discover the Power Within You, Eric Butterworth; Instinct, TD Jakes; A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle; The Gifts of Imperfection, Dr. Brene Brown; A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson; Spiritual Solutions, Deepak Chopra; The Four Agreements, Don Ruiz; The Universe is Calling, Eric Butterworth and When Things Fall Apart, Pema Chodron

    In addition to reading, I walked at the park on a daily basis and discovered a passion for photography. During that time I paid close attention to how I spoke to myself.  I looked at what I was giving my attention to.  I started to like myself and actually start to laugh at some of the silly stuff I was holding onto. I was actively checking my belief system and confronting old habits and thought processes. I would cry sometimes but I would also laugh and rejoice at the changes.

    About a year ago, the feeling that I needed to reach out to my ex-husband, a strong but gentle nudge came over me. When he called to speak to my son, I was a little more conversational and we started to talk to each other a little more and eventually I apologized for my part in our relationships demise.  It was about a month ago when he apologized to me.  That’s not where the story ends. For my son’s birthday, I suggested that may be he fly him down to Louisiana to spend some time but he came back and said that his schedule was too busy.  My initial thought that creeped in was, how you can be too busy for your son.  That was my old BS rearing its ugly head.  A few days later, the soft gentle voice spoke and said you did your part, you invited him in, let it go. And that’s what I did.

    A week or so later, his father stated he planned to drive up to Ohio and spend a few days with my son.

    Here is my Lessons Learned:

    1. Work on you first
    2. Let go and trust in Divine timing
    3. Stay open to the Possibilities
  • Game Change… I have the Power of Control.

    Game Change… I have the Power of Control.

    All that we are is a result of what we have thought. – Buddha

    Did you know that you are an energy source that attracts either positive or negative energy?25758381_s  Did you also know you can control how you say something, the way you say something and even when you say something?  What you cannot control is how someone will react, what someone thinks or what the other person is feeling. That thought alone has been the biggest game changer in my life.

    For years, I heard Oprah say that when someone gets angry or mad at you, it really has nothing to do with you. She was absolutely right. My A-ha moment was when I realized that all you truly do is trigger an issue within them. How I learned was by working on my own issues. When I used to get mad, and after I realized I got mad, I asked myself, why is this bothering you? Many times, when someone said something, it was an issue that was weighing somewhere in the back of my mind and they just happened to “pick at it”.

    For a long time, I used to get mad at my 22 year old daughter for buying new clothes. She works in a clothing store and on many occasions when I picked her up from work (key phrase…pick her up from work) she would either have a new bag, dress, shoes or something. I was getting tired of her lack of interest in getting her own license.  When I would “blow up”, I was actually frustrated with myself and feeling like I didn’t prepare her properly to move out and get her life together especially on the task of getting her own license. I felt like I let her down but instead of addressing my concern, I just got mad. I learn that it was her choice not to get her license, just like it was my choice to pick her up, or not from work.

    Let me share with you a more recent issue where, I had to be more mindful in the choices I make. On my last trip from LA,DSCF6285-001 I had a layover in Dallas. The plane was late taking off in LA which of course would affect my time in Dallas.  When we arrived in Dallas, I had about 30 minutes to make my connecting flight. Low and behold, the plane was not able to pull into the gate because there was still another plane parked at it.  By the time we were parked and the gateway was in place, I had about 15 minutes to get off. By now, reality was setting in and there was a very high probability I wasn’t going to make my connecting flight.  Got off the plane had to go to another terminal and so, I knew I wasn’t going to make it in time. I missed my flight to LA just days before.  Got to the gate, boarding had ended.  I knew I wasn’t going to make it and I still got mad.  Here is where mindfulness played a big role in how I quickly was able to get a handle on my emotions.  I realized, I didn’t want to attract any negative attitude from the ticket agent. It wasn’t her fault I missed the plane but I needed her help to resolve my issue.  I was able to quickly get a hold of my anger. I realized by missing the flight, I had a chance to relax and grab something to eat before my next flight. I also took advantage of the yoga area. All things worked out. I had a pleasant flight into Cincinnati.

    Most of the time, we can control our actions and reactions if we are willing to step back from the situation, breathe42155386_s and process what’s important.  Most of the time the situation is not really as bad as our minds makes it out to be.  Since, I have been able to put my game changing insight to work, my relationship with my daughter has also improved (despite the fact, she still doesn’t have her license). I know all things will work out in the end.

    Quote Source: http://www.thelawofattraction.com/quotes/

  • Quiet Reflections

    Quiet Reflections

    If you can’t get quiet enough to hear yourself, your life is too loud. ~Terri Guillemets

    I never completely understood the term “Silence is golden” until I started meditating.  Now that I have experienced the peace that comes from just sitting in silence, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t take some time to sit silently in a quiet space.   There are three benefits I gained I want to share with you.DSCF4794

    The first one is that it helped me to become more mindful of my thoughts. I never realized that I was my own worst enemy and sabotaging my own peace and happiness.  There was so much self-negative talk going on in my own head.  When I started paying attention to the way I spoke to myself I had to make a choice to work on it. When a thought popped in my head, I would ask “would you say that to anyone else out loud?”  Most of the time, the answer was no. The negative talk produced a dislike for myself that I didn’t know existed.  When I would take my walks in the morning, I would focus my attention on positive affirmations, such as, “I am worth.” “I am enough.” “I am successful.” The more I heard these thoughts, the more natural they would pop in to my head. I started to value who I was and the uniqueness I brought to the world.

    Another benefit meditating did was helped me to became more present in my life.  My mind wasn’t cluttered with thoughts of what I used to do or what I was going to do, I concentrated on the activity at hand. The trees looked greener and the sky looked bluer.  I discovered a passion for photography.DSCF6033 My relationship with my children improved. Last summer, I implemented a mandatory “unwind time” for everyone. It was something very similar to a tech-free time out, no electronics, cell phones, TV or radio for two hours each night during the weekday.  During the two hours, we would play card games, take walks or just simply sit outside on the deck and talk. I must admit, I had trouble turning off the phone in the beginning but as time went on; the kids would come and sit down in the living room without being called to join in. They actually looked forward to hanging out with me again.

    The last thing I want to share was I learned who I am and what I want. I no longer seek approval from others. I gained a deeper to love for myself. DSCF6292 I know now that I have the power to make better and smarter choices for the kind of life I wish to live. I learned that no one can steal your joy when it comes from deep within. 

    These lessons didn’t come easy. As Iyanla Vanzant so eloquently states it, I had to challenge my Belief System or BS. I know I am still a work in progress, but I can honestly say, I am proud of the person I am becoming.  Here are three key points I want to leave with you.

    1. The best project to work on is you.
    2. One little step leads to another.
    3. No one can be you but you.

    Quote source: http://www.quotegarden.com/silence.html

    Thank you for taking the time to visit. Please share your thoughts.

  • Don’t Be Scared

    Don’t Be Scared

    The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.  ~Joseph Campbell

    Many times during the walk I come across a flock of Canadian Geese.1024px-Geesespokaneriver Most of the time they are on the pond or on the lake.  On a few occasions these birds are close to the walking trail or crossing it.  As I come up on them, my heart starts racing and fear of them attacking me comes to mind.

    I had a little run in with these birds a few years ago when I was going into one of my favorite retail shops, I accidentally walked to close to a nesting ground. The male bird started to fly towards me, squawking at me. I knew I was definitely in the wrong place. It frightened me and many of other patrons that tried to enter the shop that day.  Ever since that incident, I try to stay mindful of their presence and respect their space.

    Recently, I have decided to give these birds names. IMG_1870My names are not meant to be harmful to these birds in any way. My names are meant as a visual reference for the fears generated in my mind. Instead of the sign saying “Caution Feeding Wildlife Can Be Harmful” I see “Caution Feeding Your Fears Can Be Harmful. For instance, in the picture above, I would name these birds confusion, worry, criticism and doubt. By giving the geese these names, I started learning to recognize the emotions that fear generates inside. By feeling and accepting the racing heart beat and the nervousness that arises, I recognize these are feelings of fear. It’s not that the fear will disappear, it is the fact that I have to feel the fear, breathe and keep on moving.

    Goose Photo Source: This image was created by Matthew S. Staben http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_goose#mediaviewer/File:Geesespokaneriver.jpg

    Quote Source: http://www.quotegarden.com/fear.html

     

  • Just Leave it There

    Just Leave it There

    Every morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most. -Guatama Buddha

    Some days I just need to get a good walk in to refresh and renew my spirit. When I can feel my soul get heavy, a nice walk does wonders.  DSCF6033Now that it is starting to get colder here, it is getting harder to get my body moving. I’ve pushed my morning walks back from the 7 am to 10 am already.  With the thought of the cold air and having to bundle up, leave more time for the “I’m not going to the park today” attitude to creep in.  By 10 am, I have had my coffee and I get the feeling I can make it through the day without walking. Its not until the thoughts of self-doubt raise up that I know I should have chosen otherwise.

    By the time I get my butt moving, the sun is usually shining bright and it’s a little bit warmer. My standard walk takes about an hour and a half to do. There is this one part of the trail I love to come to. DSCF4934Its the bridge. I call it the “don’t take it with you” bridge. There are eight observation areas built in along the bridge so you can stop and stand and not be in any one’s way.

    When I leave off that bridge, I’m leaving my burdens there too. I vow not to leave off the same way I entered on.

    Each day is a gift. Don’t squander your gift worried about the past or the future.

    Quote Source: http://www.goodreads.com

  • What is Your Sign?

    What is Your Sign?

    What matters most is how you see yourself. -Unknown Author

    I want to share a story that a friend of mine shared with me recently. 11275856_sShe was at the ice cream parlor eating an ice cream cone. As she sat there, a man not smelling so pleasant walked by and she looked up. He was wearing a sign on his chest that stated he was homeless.  She said the “homeless” sign really drew her attention.  She said the man sat down a little ways from her. She started looking in her purse and in her car for some money but couldn’t find any spare change.  She said as she was looking, something inside her said “don’t give that man any money, that man made a choice”

    What I took away from that story was that we all make choices each and every moment of our lives.  We all walk around with some type of invisible sign on our chest. 18819733_s Some of our signs may say victim, lonely or helpless and we don’t even realize it.  It’s not how the world sees you, but how you see yourself that matters.  For the longest time I wore an “unworthy” sign on my chest.  I got tired of wearing that sign.  Now my signs read successful, powerful, wise and worthy.  My question for you is: What is your sign?

  • A Natural Rhythm

    A Natural Rhythm

     Give your stress wings and let it fly away. ~Terri Guillemets

    It’s amazing to watch the birds swoop up and down the way they do. DSCF4721I love watching them interact with each other.  It’s like they are so carefree. I never really paid much attention to nature the way I have this year.  I must admit that I have learned so much by just watching the birds play and the flowers bloom. There seems to be a natural rhythm that flows all around us.  Just when you see one group of flowers die off, another new batch of them bloom up.

    This gives me a sense of hope, that despite what our surrounds may look like, you have to trust in the “process” or the flow of life. Each new day offers a new beginning and a chance to grow. Nothing in life ever stays the same.P1110960

    Don’t let the stress of life weight you down. Like the quote says “Give your stress wings and let it fly away”.  When we get so caught up in worrying about the “what if”s and the “maybe”s we rob ourselves of the the here and now. Take some time out and just watch how nature unfolds, you just might learn something.

     

    Quote Source: http://www.quotegarden.com

     

  • Coincidences

    Coincidences

    “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” ― Albert Einstein

    I started reading Deepak Chopra’s “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire” DSCF5566this week. It explores SyncroDestiny, the phenomenon of coincidences. The book was available to purchase at Oprah’s The Life You Want Tour.

    Now looking back, I guess all of what I am about to share could be classified as coincidences. I started requesting several books from Oprah’s book list through the local library. The first book available for pick up was “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire”.

    When I was in Michigan, I was talking to my “new friend” I met in the registration line on Friday about how I needed to find a new hairdresser.  On Monday evening after returning from Michigan,  I received a call from a fellow business consultant to see if I would be interested in providing consulting services to a new client he just signed.  On Wednesday when I met the new client she said she was a hairdresser.

    I wanted to order and read Oprah’s new book “What I Know for Sure” but it was not available through the library. My aunt called me on Thursday and said she needed my address to send me a book she thought I would be interested in reading,  Oprah’s “What I know for Sure”.  15224899_s

    Can you imagine what our lives could be like if we noticed these occurrences while they are happening instead of realizing them when we are reflecting on the past.  In the book, Deepak Chopra explains that these coincidences are like flashing signs to let you know that you are on the path to fulfilling your desire.  Who knows, maybe its a sign for me to share that information with someone reading this!

    Quote Source: http://www.goodreads.com/