Category: Awareness

Noticing the Invisible Influences: Who Do We Let Run Through Our Minds?
It’s a little bit like Goldilocks. We don’t want to be the same as everybody else, but too different is also bad. We’re trying to walk the line between being similar and different. -Jonah Berger

Who are you giving permission to run through your mind?

We all of a circle of influence whether we know it or not. Some of us have smaller circles than other but they still operate in the same manner. They are the ones who influence our thoughts and behaviors. We are even influencers of others too.

I recently asked a networking group that I facilitate this very questions. I have to admit that I never really gave this question much thought until recently. In many of the self-discovery books, they often state that we become like the people we associate with on a daily basis. The more I ponder this thought, I do think it has some truth to it.

Many of the women in my networking group have written a book and are looking to create an online course. I also have had a desire to write a book but it’s been way down on the list. I also would like to create an online course, but again it’s been way down on the life goal list as well, until recently. I am starting to see pathway to achieving both the goal of writing a book and creating an online course.

I remember a few years ago, when I used to take my former neighbor to her doctor’s appointments and grocery shopping that she was a vegetarian. At that time, I started noticing that I became more aware about my meat consumption and at times considered cutting meat out of my diet.

What I like most about this question is that it makes you stop and take notice of who we grant access to influence our lives. These are the people who help us create the kind of life we want and accomplish the goals we want to achieve. They can either be helping you to achieve your dreams or hindering you. I definitely think it’s worth your time to take a closer look.

Here are some of my takeaways:
1. Pay attention to who you surround yourself with.
2. Notice how they affect your life. Do they help or hinder you from creating the kind of life you want? Do you like who you are becoming? Who do you need to be around more? or less?
3. Remember: You are awesome. Give yourself some Grace!
Here is an Amazon affiliate link for “Invisible Influence: The Hidden Forces that Shape Behavior” by Jonah Berger who I quoted in the beginning: https://amzn.to/3aB5YlR

I am also including an article I came across while I was writing this post that may explain more about how we make our decisions that also mentioned the book which is also my Quote Source: https://behavioralscientist.org/invisible-influence-how-other-people-think-for-you-and-why-thats-ok/

Join me on Meetup at https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup

Other ways to connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides
October 22, 2021
To Achieve Your Dreams: Put your Blinders On and Create Life Your Way

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.” ― Lewis Carroll

Best way to start your own blog is not to read others peoples! You will inevitably compare your writing with everyone else’s and that will or can kill your momentum.

This is what I call putting your blinders on. It works in what ever your choose to accomplish in your life. When I started blogging a few years ago and I had lots of great momentum until I started reading and seeing what others were doing in theirs posts. I started thinking about how great their writing was and how many likes they had and followers and everything else. Slowly my desire to write died.

The only takeaway: do it the best way you know how. We are never experts starting out and that’s the beauty of the newness. We don’t have the expert thinking or even the followers who notice the very mistakes we will make. We are on a journey of self-discovery and that road is fun and scary at the same time. Nothing kills momentum more than the comparison bug!

It is this very thinking that helped me start and maintain my YouTube channel. This kind of thinking is what will help me to write these blog posts and do many other things. So make the mistakes, start with “sucky” posts and just keep growing and exploring. Put your blinders are and create life your way!

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/self-discovery

Ways to connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides

October 5, 2021
Ways to Manage Insecurities and Find Connection with Others

“One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit.” ― J. A. Konrath

“When do people feel insecure and why” was the topic of todays discussion in my networking group this morning. When it came time for me to answer the question, the obvious answer for me was, “I don’t know when others feel insecure, but I know when I do.” I feel most insecure when I share a piece of me with others. Not knowing if they are going to understand or even get what or why I’m sharing in the first place. A few other women in the group expressed the same kind of insecurity.

There are not many people who hop on the calls but the ones who do provide lots of insight and wisdom form their experiences in life that help others know we are not alone. That’s one of the reasons why I love group discussions. Expanding your world to learn how others cope with the same feelings of insecurity can be so powerful. I thinks that’s why I love reading too.

Reading books has also been a way for. me to expand my mind and my perceptions. Like I mentioned before, it’s nice to know I’m not alone in this big beautiful world of ours. I learned through reading that we might not share the same experiences but we can feel the same emotions. For instance, jealousy in me is going to feel like jealousy to you but the difference is what experience triggers that emotion. Once I learned that, it helps me to recognize that same feeling or emotion in someone else. Once you are aware of what’s happening, you are more incline to know how to react a little bit differently.

With reading and networking with others, I’ve been able to pick up other coping mechanisms that perhaps I never ever thought of. One woman, in the networking group, shared that she likes to do a “brain dump”. She explained to us that she “lets her 2 year old self take the reins.” She said after she gets it all out, she doesn’t re-read what she wrote, she just deletes it! When I hear such stories from other women, I consider then tools for your toolbox.

So here is my takeaway from today’s conversation: We are more alike than we may like to think. Surround yourself with people who can uplift and inspire you and don’t be afraid to talk about or share how you feel. Someone might be waiting for your tool to add to their toolbox.

How would you answer this question? When do people feel insecure and why? I would love to hear your answer.

One of the women shared she just read “Brave Not Perfect” by Reshma Saujani. I have not read the book but it has been added to my To Be Read (TBR) list. I added an Amazon affiliate link for those how are interested in reading. I would love to hear what you think of the book as well.

To purchase the book: https://amzn.to/3tMSkVk

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/insecurity

Networking Group: https://www.meetup.com/Confident-Strides-Womens-Empowerment-Network/

September 24, 2021
What Are the Bennie’s?

Today on my morning run I was able to log in 6.62 miles. It’s a personal best for me so far. I started running about three months ago. I started running from my house to the local park which I estimate to be about one mile from my home. I focused on either running to the park and then walking the rest of my normal trail. I have been an avid walker for over five years. I believed as many other walkers that walking is better than running. I could list a number of reasons to support my thinking.

I used to run cross country in high school. I grew up in the northeast corner of Connecticut where our high school mascot was a mountaineer. I loved running the mountain trails but I was not a fan of running it self. I still don’t think I love running, I just love the benefits or the “bennies” that it provides.

Thinking about it, the benefits of the things we do is what drives us to do them. It’s truly not the activity it self. So when it comes to making changes in your lives, the one true question you first have to answer is, what is the benefit, or the bennie’s, I am getting out of this? Without taking the time to reflect on each habit or change you want to make, it’s pointless without figuring out what it is that your are looking to gain or to eliminate.

Think about this as we bring 2019 to a close. Now is the time to reflect on what is working and what is not. Design your life the way you want to, not by the opinions of others! What benefits are you looking to gain in the coming year?

Photo Source: Click Here

December 5, 2019
Show Up First

Show up authentically and synergy will meet you there. ― Sanjo Jendayi

I started running about three months ago. I had been an avid walker for more that five years or more. I really have no clue as to where this is taking me. I simply love being out in nature and it’s a great way for me to find clarity and creativity.

What inspired me to start running? Well the same park I walk at is the same location that one of the local high school’s cross country team practices at. I remember on one Sunday morning, I saw a young man out running in the cross country course by himself. Wow!! This young man didn’t wait until the coach told him to practice or the rest of the team to be there, he just went out and did it.

We don’t need to get other people’s approval to do and be who we are. It’s nice to have a cheering section but sometimes the fans won’t show up until we do. What have you been wanting to do? Don’t wait, be like that young runner and go for it!

Photo Source: click here / Quote Source: click here

November 27, 2019
Period of Transition

“Only those who stick around long enough to see the caterpillar turn into the butterfly actually get to witness the transformation.” ― Kristin Michelle Elizabeth

I love this quote because it reminds me that there will be people in and out of your lives constantly. I have been guilty of is worrying about those who didn’t stick around. Let it go! The past is just that, the past. Maybe, just maybe, their assignment was up and it was time for them, or you, to move on. Look for the blessing or the lesson and keep moving forward.

Worry about who isn’t in your life anymore, keeps us from appreciating those who are. This is nothing but a “period of transition”. For those who did not stay around to witness your transformation, wish them good will and release any negativity that may have surrounded their departure. Holding on to the negativity is like holding onto an anchor, it just holds you back. Everyone, including you are on our own journeys. All we can ever do is just keep crawling until it’s time to grow your wings and fly!

Photo Source: click here / Quote Source: click here.

November 21, 2019
Stay on The Lookout

Blessing are everywhere, you just have to stay on the look out for them. There are countless miracles that go unnoticed everyday of every minute. A couple of years ago I learned of just a tiny fraction of the blessing are bodies do for each of us. For instance, if you exercise, your body has a built in cooling system that you do not have to program. Your body can heal itself. You have a build in counseling system consisting of the mind, body and soul. You are literally a walking miracle each and everyday!

With that little knowledge alone my life shifted. When your start to learn just how blessed you are to wake each morning with life, you begin to notice those things in life that are taking up your energy and time. You start to value your time and the time of others.

Time is our most precious commodity. Take inventory of those things that not longer serve their purpose in your life. Time is not promised to no one! Take inventory of your own unique gifts and talents and reflect on just how you can us those gifts to serve this world. Remember: You are a blessing!

Photo source: Click here.

November 14, 2019
It’s Not That Important

It’s not that Important” were the words being shouted from the backseat of the car the other day when my husband and I were “discussing” where to place the cell phone in order to hear the navigational directions. I will admit that I got “caught up” in the discussion because I was trying to make my opinion known. Of course my husband had his own idea on where he wanted to put the phone since he was driving.

My three year old granddaughter interjected herself into the conversation by saying “its not that important”. The thing that caught my attention, besides this little person yelling from the backseat and the fact that she couldn’t quite say the word “important” was when I stopped to think about what was happening at that moment, she was right. I had let my ego step in.

I laugh now because it took the words of a three year old to remind me that sometimes the little things we make the biggest fuss over are the little things that can begin to tear a relationship apart. The best thing we can do is stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself, just how important is it for me to be right?

Photo Source: Click here.

November 7, 2019
I Won the Jeep!

For anyone who has followed my blogs over the past few years knows that I had an auto accident in 2013. It was a rainy Halloween night when I lost control of my BMW and hit the cement divider wall and totaled my car. My BMW was my retirement gift to myself. My husband and I were going through some financial challenges at the time and my car was the only thing I refused to part with.

I remember the evening well because it was the beginning of my spiritual journey. That night of the accident was when I first noticed the tiny whispers of the Universe. As I sat in the back seat of the police car, I remember a calming presence within that was saying everything is going to be alright. I remember thinking “God, you have my attention now!”

Fast forward to 2019 and I am sitting in a huge convention center. My company is about to do a drawing for a 2019 Jeep Cherokee Trailhawk. As I watch the tickets being mixed up, I am thinking my chances of winning is not looking good. There must have be thousands of pink raffle tickets being mixed up in the large clear rotating raffle drum. But I decided not to focus on that, instead I started thinking about how it would feel to be seated in the Jeep, taking in the new car smell. I could hear them calling the numbers. I started thinking, I’m still in the running as they called off the first four numbers. By the 6th number, I was thinking, the winning number is really close to one of my four tickets I had. It wasn’t until they announced the name of the winner that it hit me… I won!

I believe that the Universe is always speaking to us. My accident in 2013 was a wake up call to what life is trying to get me to notice. I make it a practice to stay present and enjoy the beautiful blessing that surround me. I know this post can not express the sheer gratitude, faith and appreciation I have for such a loving, generous, and supportive Life Force, but what I want to say is Thank you!

May 20, 2019
The Path

In life ,we can get so caught up in the opinions of others. We worry that we are not doing the “right” thing. What I and so many others fail to recognize is what feels “right” to you is not always going to feel “right” for someone else. That’s the beauty of life, because their life purpose or path is not for you and vice versa.

One of my favorite guided meditations is The 21 Day Meditation Challenge – The Energy of Attraction by Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. It is on Day 16 – Trusting Nature where the Centering Thought is “Everyone’s spiritual path is perfect.” To me, it is a reminder that not everyone is meant to do what it is that you are here to do. We are all here with our own divine purpose and mission. It is up to us to determine what that purpose is.

What is the key factor is we are only allotted so much time on this Earth to discover and live our purpose. Time is the only precious resource that we can never get back. So my point is this, don’t get so caught up in living someone else’s life. Live your life purposefully. It’s the only one we have.

May 13, 2019