Tag: daily habits

Creating Habits: 9 Ways to Stop the Need for External Approval
“Give space to your thoughts, clear the noise in your head, chit-chat with your inner critic, decide and move on.” ― Cristina Imre

I woke up thinking about how I almost let my inner critic stop me from growing this week. Here’s my challenge.

I love making Instagram Reels. It’s easy and fun for me to put little video clips together. What I figured out is that I could create the video clips and then add them to my YouTube channel as Shorts. It is a win-win for me and my viewers because I found another way to keep my original channel active now that I have moved my interview content to a whole new channel. This is also an opportunity to share more about who I am and what I do.

There is only one thing that presents a struggle and that is my fear of talking directly into the camera. In order to overcome this resistance, I decided to talk about the one thing I feel pretty confident about and that is habits. I started recording mini videos of my talking about how to make habits stick as I work on my challenge of talking on video.

I had one fluke video hit over 1600 views and I was feeling pretty good. The next couple of videos hit about 100 views and lately my videos are only attracting 3-6 views. I started obsessing about the view count and was ready to stop making videos. I started looking at the view count as my success indicator.

My inner critic was in full attack mode and had enough ammunition to make me want to give up. I started questioning myself and this whole idea of creating YouTube Shorts. I started thinking I wasn’t doing the “right” thing. Fortunately, I woke up this morning with a refreshed attitude and a the insight of, “stop looking at the numbers.”

After a few minutes of reflection, I realized “stop looking at the numbers” was code for stop looking for outside validation.

How many times have you stopped doing what you enjoy doing because the numbers don’t look good, especially in the beginning? Did we start out doing it for the numbers? For me the answer is no. I wanted to share information on a subject that I love talking about and I thought could be of help to someone else. I also wanted to get pass my fear of speaking directly on camera.

It is at these moments in time that the one person who pops in my head (surprisingly) is Cardi B. She went from being a stripper to becoming a rapper. I can only imagine how much negativity and limited self-talk she had to overcome. So when I think about giving up, I think about how other people had to overcome the same “stinking thinking” in order to do what they are doing today. If Cardi B can go from stripping to becoming a sought out entertainer, I can get past my fear of talking on camera!

Who inspires you and why? Keep them in mind when your inner critic starts to creep in. There are so many people, who battle their inner critic everyday and are winning, and so can we!

Here’s some additional suggestions I would like to offer up:
1. Write out your “why” and keep it in view.
2. Make a list of people who inspire you along with why they inspire you.
3. Before making any major decisions, go for a walk or allow some time for you to think. Let you mind settle.
4. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Awareness is key!
5. Record your progress. Every little step forward is a win.
6. Celebrate your wins.
7. Find an accountability partner.
8. Keep in mind that everyone has to start somewhere. It is always harder in the beginning.
9. Don’t pay attention to the numbers! If the vision or the thought came to you, it belongs to you. You are the one who can bring it to life, if you choose to.
Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to check out my YouTube Channels and leave a comment.

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/inner-critic
1. Coffee With T YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wjtS11
2. Confident Strides YouTube Channel (Interviews) https://bit.ly/3rYLJHR
To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
April 29, 2022
How to Plan and Focus More of Your Time and Increase Productivity
“Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” ― Steve Maraboli

Quora Question: What advice do you give to make the most of the hours of the day and be more productive?

As an entrepreneur, I think the number one thing to making the most of the hours of the day and to be more productive is developing your mindset and establishing your “why” behind what you are doing each day. Your “why” determines the “how” and the “what” behind all the activities you do each day.

Once you know your “why”, you can ask yourself questions that will help you determine what is going to get you your desired results like, “what is the priority for today?”.

Mindset determines everything first and foremost.

Once you understand your “why” here are some additional suggestions that can aid in your productivity, especially for those who work from home:
1. Use a weekly planner. Brain dump every task that you want to accomplish within your week along with your target date for completion. There is something about taking the ideas from out of your head and putting them down on paper.
2. Go for a daily walk or run. These types of activities help to gain mental clarity for the tasks of the day.
3. Reduce the number of distractions throughout the day. For example, my phone comes on automatic “Do Not Disturb” mode every day for a four-hour period. Distractions can be the biggest enemy in productivity.
4. Get up and move around throughout the day. If you are struggling on staying focused, getting up and moving helps to relax the brain. This is a great way to reset and spark new ideas.
5. Set office hours. This works great with suggestion #3 because it helps to put you into work mode mindset.
6. Find an accountability partner. Sometimes we work harder for others than we do for ourselves. Share you goals with them and then schedule “check-in” calls with each other.
7. Give yourself grace. There will be days when you are more productive than others. Sometimes a non-productive day is what helps to reset yourself.
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/mindset

Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup
To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
April 1, 2022
Decide First: How to Adopt New Habits and Develop a Positive Attitude
“Trust your instincts, and make judgements on what your heart tells you. The heart will not betray you.” ― David Gemmell

Quora Question: How can you change your habits and thought process that control your daily life and wellbeing?

I think when you finally get tired of the drama that’s in your life and you make the decision to change, even if it is just one small thing, that is when life itself will change for you. Change begins with the decision to change. It could be as simple as wanting to drink more water and less sodas or alcohol.  One small change can shift the trajectory of your path.

Pay attention to things that cause an irritation in you.  Ask yourself, “what’s in my control?”  If there is something you can do to reduce or eliminate the irritation, then do it. Change begins the moment you decide you want to change.

Let me give you an example:

A couple of years ago, I used to be big on scrolling through Facebook and other social sites, but I started noticing how I would feel once I got off. It wasn’t leaving me with positive feelings. I asked myself, “what’s in my control?”  That’s when I realized I could choose to do something else with my time like read books rather than scroll social media sites.  I could go for a walk or write in my journal when I felt the urge to grab for my phone. When I pondered what else I could do with time I usually allotted for scrolling social media, that is when I saw other activities that were more in alignment with achieving my desired goals.

So here are a few suggestions I would like to offer anyone looking to change their habits and thought process:
1. Pay attention to your emotions and your feelings. They are like signals from your soul that let you know if you are heading in the right direction or indicators that you might want to make a U-turn.
2. Make the decision to make one small change. It is that one small change that can and will change the trajectory of your path.
3. Trust the process and watch it unfold. Learn to become friends with your body, mind, and spirit. I call them the “Three Chairmen”. Once I learned to listen and pay attention to what was coming up from within, I know get a better sense of when I am on the right path or when I need to pivot.
4. Stay open to possibilities. There will be things that you will pick up on your mental radar that you may have never noticed before. It is like your brain goes to work looking for opportunities to help you achieve your desired goals.
5. Keep a journal. Record your progress. As we grow and change, you can always look back through your journal entries to see how far you have come. By paying attention, simple change in your habits, behaviors and thoughts are more recognizable.
6. Find an accountability partner. Connect with others and share your insight with others. Help to hold each other accountable for your goals.
7. Have grace with yourself. We didn’t develop these habits and thought processes in just one day and that means we can’t change them in just one day either.
The truth is that we are always changing whether we realize it or not. By paying attention and recording our process, we can see the process and watch it unfold.

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/decision-making

Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup
To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
March 25, 2022
The World is Waiting: How to Build Self Confidence to Be Seen
“You can keep as quiet as you like, but one of these days somebody is going to find you.” ― Haruki Murakami

Quora Question: What are you hiding from the world?

I am a planner person. I love the washi tape and stickers and all that crafty, creativity stuff!  I used to run an Esty shop and sell my items at craft shows, so when I sit down to work on my planner, I usually have it all laid out on the living room floor. Recently, when I had all my crafting stuff out to update my planner and my husband was upstairs, I could hear him getting ready to come downstairs and my first reaction was to gather up all my things.  As I started to, the first thought that popped in my head was “stop hiding.”

Ask yourself… what are you hiding from the world?

I can’t speak for others, but as a child of an alcoholic parent and a young girl who grew up in an area where there weren’t many others who looked like me, you try not to bring attention to yourself. It wasn’t until a few years ago, that I realized my opinions and feelings mattered.  I didn’t learn anything about self-care until I was in my forties.  That’s a long time to stay in a hiding place.

As I continue to come out of my hiding space, I am learning more about who I am and what I want, and I encourage you to come out of your hiding place too!

Our “wounds have wisdom” as Oprah Winfrey often says.  What I am learning along this journey is our experiences can be lessons for us and blessing for others. Here are some practices that have helped me thus far:
1. Meditation. I sign up for the free meditation programs that Deepak Chopra offers. You can also search YouTube for guided meditation practices if this of interest to you. I like the guided meditations in the beginning because they helped me stay focused.
2. Reading. Anything you are interested in learning is available in a book, an eBook, or an audiobook. Reading helped me to realize, I am not alone. Many of the personal struggles we are dealing with, have been encountered by others who chose to share how they overcame and can be a source of inspiration for you.
3. Walking or Exercise. Getting up and moving is a great way to shift your energy. I say it helps to get the “gunk” out of our system. It’s like taking your car our on the highway and opening it up.
4. Join a group. There are several great groups that you can connect with in-person as well and virtually.
5. Journal. I started journaling years ago, but I never stayed consistent. What I found that can help is keeping the journal in my sights. If I see it, I am reminded to pick it up and write.
6. Blog. Share your story with others. You may hold the key to unlocking someone else’s breakthrough.
7. Have Grace with Yourself. Your life is a marathon not a sprint. Take time to sit and get to know who you are. You are worth it!
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/hiding

Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup
To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
March 4, 2022
Achievable Success: How to Cultivate a Daily Reading Habit
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” ― Dr. Seuss

How do I cultivate reading daily? – Quora

As we close out 2021, I thought this was a great Quora question for anyone looking to make lasting changes in 2022. I think reading is a great fundamental habit to cultivate that will make a big impact on anyone’s life.

My reading habit started out of curiosity. I was going through a period of struggle that just tested everything I had. I wanted answers!

I started out reading religious books. When I read the books, I would have the Bible as a reference guide to see what the whole scripture was about that was referenced in the book. My reading then expanded into self-help and personal development books. The more information I got out of reading my world view also expanded. My reading list now consists of books about neuroscience, business, finances to leadership and much more.

To cultivate a daily reading habit, I would like to offer a few suggestions:
1. Get curious- What questions do you have that you have been looking for answers for? Don’t just limit yourself to “second-hand” accounts like summaries or podcasts, go to the source. Learn where people are getting their information from and read it for yourself. What people extract from books are what “they” need or pick up. What you get out of a book, may be completely different.
2. Make reading a non-negotiable habit – I added reading to my daily schedule of events. It’s amazing what we do when we have a daily reminder of what we want to do each day. I put it on my calendar because it became important to me.
3. Be patient with yourself – Usually, we quit something if we don’t think it is working. Learning takes time like a seed takes time to grow. After a while, you’ll be able to recall information you read in your books and apply it to current struggles you face each day. It’s like your mind becomes a rolodex of information.
4. Share your knowledge with others. – This is also a great way to learn and retain the information. (Check out the food for thought on learning pyramid below). Readers become good writers.
No matter how you get started, always remember, anything worth having will take time to develop. If it was easy, everyone would do it!

Food for thought – According to the American educator Edgar Dale’s learning pyramid:

We remember…
- 10 percent of what we read,
- 20 percent of what we hear,
- 30 percent of what we see,
- 50 percent of what we see and hear,
- 70 percent of what we discuss with others,
- 80 percent of what we personally experience,
- 95 percent of what we teach others.
Food for thought excerpt taken from “Love People Use Things” by Joshua Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. Feel free to use this Amazon link to purchase the book and read along with me: https://amzn.to/3sHOCOv

I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/readingsuccess

To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides
December 27, 2021
Effective Lifestyle Habit Change Starts with Turning on Your GPS System First
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” ― Douglas Adams

How do I change lifestyle habits?- Quora

Before I think about creating or eliminating lifestyle habits, I like to see where I am on my road map called life.

The end of the year or a birthday, or any other lifechanging event is always a great time to take a closer look and see if we are still on the path for what you want out of life.  Don’t just look at what you want from your career but what you want personally and spiritually.  Are you still in alignment with those goals and dreams or have they changed?  That’s when you can figure out what you need to add or eliminate from your life.

What I wanted in life when I was twenty isn’t what I wanted when I reached my forties.  My lifestyle had changed that means my habits had to change too.

For example, I got serious about my health when I had a grandchild.  You think it would have been important throughout my life but realizing I wanted to be around when my grandchild turns 20 was a like a “aha” moment.  I started questioning what I must do to reach that dream or at least head in that direction.

I think any lifestyle change must begin with taking time for self-reflection.  By know where you are on the Life map, you can then set your GPS with intention. With intention, you will gain the clarity and focus you need to stay on your path. You will recognize what habits are taking you towards your destination and what ones are taking you away.

Here are some suggestions on how to reset or recalibrate you GPS system if you’ve gotten off track:
1. Unplug – Disconnect from the distractions that are keeping you from hearing the navigation. Take time to reconnect with who you are. Take up walking, running, or cycling, or something that gets you out of your head and back in balance.
2. Trust the process- Many times we think we know the way and don’t trust the insight that we are receiving from within. We look for external guidance instead of learning how to turn up the GPS volume. We turn it down or off if we don’t like what we are getting.
3. Become a lifetime learner. We are not alone in our struggles. By reading and learning from others, we cut our learning curve in half the time. Time is too short to be going around in circles.
4. Determine what’s right for you. This goes with the first suggestion. The more you find out what’s right for you, you begin to do what’s right for you and turning off the external noise of the world gets a little bit easier.
5. Celebrate how far you have come. This is a life road map, so enjoy the ride!
When you start with knowing who you are and what you want, take a step everyday towards it. This is a life journey not a life sprint.

I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/navigation

To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides
December 24, 2021
Plan Your Life
I find that the more disciplined I am in certain areas of my life, the more freedom I find in other areas. I schedule my daily calendar with habits I want to maintain. For instance, I try and practice daily meditation, reading and journaling. Just maintaining the calendar is a discipline. For the most part, I know in my head what I have on my calendar out in my head but I have found that having it to refer back to at times helps me to maintain those habits.

When I first started keeping a daily calendar, the purpose was to coordinate my daily activities around schedule appointment times with “clients.” The funny thing is, I didn’t have any clients. I slowly began to realize that the calendar wasn’t for scheduling time for others, it was for scheduling time for myself.

I learned three valuable lessons:
1. My calendar is a constant reminder to coordinate the kinds of habits I find important to living a happy and fulfilled life.
2. Schedule the kind of activities that will ensure that you DO what is important to you and for you.
3. If we don’t schedule time for what we want, we will never accomplish what we want because we think we don’t have time.
In the great words of the late Jim Rohn, “learn to work harder on yourself, than you do on the job.” With a calendar, it’s possible.
December 4, 2018