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Tag: design your life

  • Advice on How to Make Rules That Build Healthy Habits

    Advice on How to Make Rules That Build Healthy Habits

    “Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

    Quora Question: How did you force yourself to stick to healthy habits?

    The very first thing I did was determine what I wanted to create and then I set up rules that would protect my habit until it could “feed” itself.

    For instance, when I started my walking habit, my main objective was to find peace during a chaotic period of my life.  I had always enjoyed playing and being out in nature while I was growing up.  I found peace and happiness so when I needed to find peace, I went back to the one thing I knew would give me that. A walk in the park.  I never set out to become a “walker” it just felt right and natural.  Nine years later, I still find peace and happiness out on the trails.

    I would never encourage anyone to “force” themselves to do anything.  I think the biggest success comes from knowing your why first and trusting the process as it unfolds.  You can still set up “rules” like I will do two sit-ups during a commercial break, or I will drink water first thing in the morning, but these are ways to help you stay in alignment with your WHY.

    Another influence that helps you stay on course is taking each day one step at a time. Start small and let the motivation of each win carry you forward. A few months into my walking journey, I started paying attention to the kinds of food I was eating.  After a great walk, I didn’t want to ruin it by eating a burger and fries.  I slowly added salads to my diet.  

    No one likes to be pushed around so why would you want to do that to yourself?  

    As humans, we are designed with “three chairmen”, the mind, body, and spirit connection.  When they are in sync, you become unstoppable by simply deciding.  Get clear about your WHY and opportunities to help you achieve your goal will pop up on your mental radar.

    Here are some things to consider when implementing “rules”

    1. If you know the rules, then you know how to break them too especially if we are the ones who made them in the first place.  Rules serve a very important role when first establishing a new habit, but if they remain checked, they can also become the very thing that hinders your growth. 
    2. Consider rules like a baby’s crib, they serve to protect your habit but eventually we will outgrow them.  It isn’t until you want to create or break a habit that you realize just how much our rules have an influence on our behavior.  
    3. Realize that with everything that is worthwhile in having, it needs time and space to cultivate. By adding this new habit, consider what you need to prepare for it to grow.  For example, readers look for time to read even perhaps create a special corner or buy a special reading chair to ease their mind for reading mode. 
    4. What will help trigger your habit? Like I mentioned above, commercial breaks can be your trigger to do push-ups or sit-ups.  This reminds me of the time when I was in the military, and we were preparing for an upcoming fitness test.  Our commanders would post signs like “do 20 push-ups” on Post-It-Notes on their doors. If you entered their office, you had to do what was posted on the note.  It made it kind of fun especially when the whole company was involved.
    5. Keep it fun. Creating habits does not have to be forced. Get your family or friends involved to help you stay on track.  Celebrate the wins and keep track of your progress.  Seeing progress is another great way to keep you going.
    6. Last and certainly not least, give yourself grace.  The fact that you made the decision to change is the most important decision of all. Remember, if it was easy, everyone would do it!

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to check out my YouTube Channels and leave a comment.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/rules

    1. Confident Strides YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wjtS11
    2. Coffee With T YouTube Channel (Interviews) https://bit.ly/3rYLJHR

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • Creating Habits: 9 Ways to Stop the Need for External Approval

    Creating Habits: 9 Ways to Stop the Need for External Approval

    “Give space to your thoughts, clear the noise in your head, chit-chat with your inner critic, decide and move on.” ― Cristina Imre

    I woke up thinking about how I almost let my inner critic stop me from growing this week. Here’s my challenge.

    I love making Instagram Reels. It’s easy and fun for me to put little video clips together. What I figured out is that I could create the video clips and then add them to my YouTube channel as Shorts. It is a win-win for me and my viewers because I found another way to keep my original channel active now that I have moved my interview content to a whole new channel. This is also an opportunity to share more about who I am and what I do.

    There is only one thing that presents a struggle and that is my fear of talking directly into the camera. In order to overcome this resistance, I decided to talk about the one thing I feel pretty confident about and that is habits. I started recording mini videos of my talking about how to make habits stick as I work on my challenge of talking on video.

    I had one fluke video hit over 1600 views and I was feeling pretty good. The next couple of videos hit about 100 views and lately my videos are only attracting 3-6 views. I started obsessing about the view count and was ready to stop making videos. I started looking at the view count as my success indicator.

    My inner critic was in full attack mode and had enough ammunition to make me want to give up. I started questioning myself and this whole idea of creating YouTube Shorts. I started thinking I wasn’t doing the “right” thing. Fortunately, I woke up this morning with a refreshed attitude and a the insight of, “stop looking at the numbers.”

    After a few minutes of reflection, I realized “stop looking at the numbers” was code for stop looking for outside validation.

    How many times have you stopped doing what you enjoy doing because the numbers don’t look good, especially in the beginning? Did we start out doing it for the numbers? For me the answer is no. I wanted to share information on a subject that I love talking about and I thought could be of help to someone else. I also wanted to get pass my fear of speaking directly on camera.

    It is at these moments in time that the one person who pops in my head (surprisingly) is Cardi B. She went from being a stripper to becoming a rapper. I can only imagine how much negativity and limited self-talk she had to overcome. So when I think about giving up, I think about how other people had to overcome the same “stinking thinking” in order to do what they are doing today. If Cardi B can go from stripping to becoming a sought out entertainer, I can get past my fear of talking on camera!

    Who inspires you and why? Keep them in mind when your inner critic starts to creep in. There are so many people, who battle their inner critic everyday and are winning, and so can we!

    Here’s some additional suggestions I would like to offer up:

    1. Write out your “why” and keep it in view.
    2. Make a list of people who inspire you along with why they inspire you.
    3. Before making any major decisions, go for a walk or allow some time for you to think. Let you mind settle.
    4. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Awareness is key!
    5. Record your progress. Every little step forward is a win.
    6. Celebrate your wins.
    7. Find an accountability partner.
    8. Keep in mind that everyone has to start somewhere. It is always harder in the beginning.
    9. Don’t pay attention to the numbers! If the vision or the thought came to you, it belongs to you. You are the one who can bring it to life, if you choose to.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to check out my YouTube Channels and leave a comment.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/inner-critic

    1. Coffee With T YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wjtS11
    2. Confident Strides YouTube Channel (Interviews) https://bit.ly/3rYLJHR

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • Successful Habits: How to Make Any Long-lasting Life Changes

    Successful Habits: How to Make Any Long-lasting Life Changes

    “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ― Will Durant

    Quora Question: How do I turn something into a habit?

    First and foremost, habits are always being created whether you realize it or not.  

    Habits can either bring positive results or negative consequences depending on what it is.  For instance, pulling out your phone and scrolling on social media sites when you are standing in a line can become a habit. It’s a natural, automatic response which can be defined as a habit.  The positive result may be to stay-up-to date with everything that is happening in your virtual world. The negative consequence could be missing out on the opportunity to meet new people standing in line with you.

    The first rule of thumb in establishing a new habit is to understand why you want to create it in the first place.  What are your intentions?

    You can ask yourself several questions to get to the heart to your “why.” Here are a few questions to start the inner dialog.

    • What is the goal or result I want to achieve?
    • Why is this important to me?
    • What am I tired of?  Sometimes negative consequences can be the motivational factor for creating a new habit or change.
    • What are your needs and wants?

    Once you get a clearer understanding as to why this change or habit is important to you, the “how” is easier to incorporate.

    When I first started writing this blog, my consistency was horrible.  I would write a few posts then my mind would go blank.  It wasn’t until I took the time out to figure out that writing was a way for me to share my voice with others that I started to see opportunities to help me stay consistent. I use Quora to stay consistent. I look for questions that I can offer advice on.  

    Your ”how” is a way to express your “why.”  Get clear on your why and opportunities to fulfill it with start to pop up on your mental radar.  

    The next rule of thumb to establishing a habit it to allow time and space for it to grow.  

    This could be allowing physical time to establish a routine.  It also includes determining what old beliefs, people, or situations you might have to let go or bring in to help you.  Do you need to read more books on the subject, hire a coach or personal trainer, or re-configure your schedule?  Asking yourself questions is key.

    I think many people are looking for a magic number for implementing change or creating a new habit which there really isn’t one.  The most effective way to implement change is to change your mindset first. Ask yourself, who is it that I want to become to achieve this type of goal and then watch the magic of transformation begin!

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag?utf8=✓&id=habits

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • What Are the Bennie’s?

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    Today on my morning run I was able to log in 6.62 miles. It’s a personal best for me so far.  I started running about three months ago.  I started running from my house to the local park which I estimate to be about one mile from my home.  I focused on either running to the park and then walking the rest of my normal trail. I have been an avid walker for over five years.  I believed as many other walkers that walking is better than running. I could list a number of reasons to support my thinking.

    I used to run cross country in high school. I grew up in the northeast corner of Connecticut where our high school mascot was a mountaineer.  I loved running the mountain trails but I was not a fan of running it self. I still don’t think I love running, I just love the benefits or the “bennies” that it provides.

    Thinking about it, the benefits of the things we do is what drives us to do them. It’s truly not the activity it self.  So when it comes to making changes in your lives, the one true question you first have to answer is, what is the benefit, or the bennie’s, I am getting out of this?  Without taking the time to reflect on each habit or change you want to make, it’s pointless without figuring out what it is that your are looking to gain or to eliminate.

    Think about this as we bring 2019 to a close. Now is the time to reflect on what is working and what is not.  Design your life the way you want to, not by the opinions of others! What benefits are you looking to gain in the coming year?

    Photo Source: Click Here

  • Show Up First

    running-in-the-morning

    Show up authentically and synergy will meet you there. ― Sanjo Jendayi

    I started running about three months ago. I had been an avid walker for more that five years or more.  I really have no clue as to where this is taking me. I simply love being out in nature and it’s a great way for me to find clarity and creativity.

    What inspired me to start running?  Well the same park I walk at is the same location that one of the local high school’s cross country team practices at.  I remember on one Sunday morning, I saw a young man out running in the cross country course by himself. Wow!! This young man didn’t wait until the coach told him to practice or the rest of the team to be there, he just went out and did it.

    We don’t need to get other people’s approval to do and be who we are. It’s nice to have a cheering section but sometimes the fans won’t show up until we do.  What have you been wanting to do? Don’t wait, be like that young runner and go for it!

    Photo Source: click here / Quote Source: click here

  • Plan Your Life

    Plan Your Life

    I find that the more disciplined I am in certain areas of my life, the more freedom I find in other areas. I schedule my daily calendar with habits I want to maintain.  For instance, I try and practice daily meditation, reading and journaling.  Just maintaining the calendar is a discipline.  For the most part, I know in my head what I have on my calendar out in my head but I have found that having it to refer back to at times helps me to maintain those habits.

    When I first started keeping a daily calendar, the purpose was to coordinate my daily activities around schedule appointment times with “clients.”  The funny thing is, I didn’t have any clients.  I slowly began to realize that the calendar wasn’t for scheduling time for others, it was for scheduling time for myself.

    I learned three valuable lessons:

    1. My calendar is a constant reminder to coordinate the kinds of habits I find important to living a happy and fulfilled life.
    2. Schedule the kind of activities that will ensure that you DO what is important to you and for you.
    3. If we don’t schedule time for what we want, we will never accomplish what we want because we think we don’t have time.

    In the great words of the late Jim Rohn, “learn to work harder on yourself, than you do on the job.” With a calendar, it’s possible.