Blinkers are also known as blinders. They are the piece of horse tack that prevent the horse seeing to the rear and, in some cases, to the side. Trainers believe these keep the horses focused on what is in front, encouraging them to pay attention to the race rather than other distractions, such as crowds.
To keep moving forward at times you will need to put your blinkers on to stay in your lane.
Sources: Wikipedia / Photo credit: click here.
Time is a precious commodity so the greatest gift you can give to another is your undivided attention. Put your cell phone down when talking to others or address people by their name and watch their reactions. People will engage with you. We all have a desire to be heard and that we matter.
When I walk pass someone I know, many times they stop and tell me they recognized my gait. My walk is distinct just like my brand.
We all need time to shut off the chaos of everyday life. I gain clarity and insight during my daily walks. Take time out to discover what works best for you. It doesn’t matter what you do, just choose to make it a priority for yourself at some point during your day.
You deserve it!
Photo credit: click here.
Always strive to be on top of whatever it is you are representing. Make your presentation as important as your service or your product. You may not realize it, but someone is always watching.
Photo credit: click here
This post was inspired by a conversation I had with my daughter:
She was upset when I picked up from work and was ready to quit her job because of the “drama” of her co-workers. The advice I gave her was that yes at times you do have to move on but no matter if you change schools, change jobs or even change spouses, the drama free life you are looking for won’t happen until you do some changing within yourself. You have to learn to let go!
I am still amazed how we can allow one person to affect us in our daily lives and in how we see ourselves and view success. I want you to see that you have the power of choice on your side and show you that it’s not the situation that’s important, but how we choose to react that will make a world of difference.
I let go of other people’s “drama” by learning three things:
Truly, no one has power over you unless you give it to them.
#1 Harness the Power of Control:
For years I was concerned about what people thought of me, if they liked me, was a doing a good job, but then I realized that I have the power of choice on my side. It wasn’t until I went to Oprah’s Live the Life You want to Live Weekend Tour in August of 2014. I went to this event by myself and realized that some trips are best taken alone! It caused my perspective of life to shift. It was a 3 day event in Detroit. We were given the cool battery operated LED wristbands that light up during the event. I wore mine for several months despite the fact that battery died shortly after the event. On the wristband, it says “Oprah’s the Life You Want Weekend” It became a daily reminder to me that we all have a choice in every second, of every minute of every day in how we choose to live our lives. As the sun rises each day so are the chances to make new choices.
The more happiness I experienced, the less I wanted to it relinquish it because of someone else’s “drama”.
#2 Eliminating as Much Negativity as Possible:
I love how The Late Dr. Maya Angelou has so eloquently expressed… “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” I first had to stop calling what we so often refer to as failures and setbacks in our lives as mistakes and realized they were learning opportunities. They became my lessons learned.
In life’s lessons there are so often things that we need to learn from them to prepare us for the next challenge. In learning that I can’t control other people’s thought, actions or emotions, life started to become more fun and interesting. I was able to laugh at myself more freely and with less judgement. The more I become aware of my behaviors the more I seem to pick up on the behaviors of others. As my self-awareness expanded the more empathetic I became. Being more empathetic opened the door to identifying with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others, which simply meant I could relate more to others
#3 Practice Daily Mindfulness:
I am not free of judgmental thoughts but I am more aware of when these thoughts and attitudes arise. With expanded awareness you’re able to make more conscious decisions that can lead to better choices. By making better choices I have had more desirable outcomes and more meaningful relationships.
I don’t react to people, to the news and to life’s everyday situations that would “back in the day” set me off. With the power of choice comes the freedom to live life on your terms. I find myself no longer bound by the thoughts or opinions of others. I am not where I would like to be, but I am not the person I was. And if success can be measured by liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. Then I am truly successful!
In Jack Canfield’s Success Principle’s he expresses this in a simple and easy to remember equation: E + R =O. (Event +Reaction=Outcome). In this equation the only thing you have control over is the R (your reaction to the event).
As I stated in the beginning we so often give power to people by allowing them to affect our moods, our days and our lives. By harnessing the power of choice, choosing to eliminate as much negativity as possible from your life and practicing mindfulness to expand your self-awareness you are able to put your life back into focus.
It’s like rebooting yourself back to your original default setting. When you harness that power, you will honestly proclaim:
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
–Invictus – Poem by William Ernest Henley
Poem Credit: http://poemhunter.com/poem/invictus/
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ― Dalai Lama XIV
By meditating on a regular basis I become aware of my thoughts. The more aware I became of my thoughts the more I started making wiser choices on what I paid attention to and where I focused my efforts.
The first thing that captured my attention was the commercials during television shows. I started paying more attention to what was being advertised and I realized that most of the commercials are fear-based messages that try to coerce you into some type of action, which is primarily to sell their product like the latest dish washing liquid doesn’t kill enough germ causing bacteria. Another thing I started noticing was a commercial with a catchy jingle isn’t quite so annoying by the 3rd time you hear it. I started putting the commercials on mute.
The next thing that I started noticing was the amount of negativity in everyday conversation. The more I tried to focus on eliminating negativity from my conversations the more I found reasons to celebrate even the littlest things. I found myself singing to the radio and actually dancing around the house as I did such things like vacuuming and cooking. I eventually stopped watching TV all together.
My days have been more productive and less stressful. I have more time to relax and enjoy things like lying in my hammock, taking morning walks in the park and spending quality time with my family. I started exercising and found a desire to start cleaning out my garage that has been on my to-do list for two years.
What I found is that when you find the joy and appreciation for who you are there is no way anyone can steal that joy from you because it comes from deep within.
We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. – Lynn Hall
I just came back from an eleven day trip that took me to Dallas, Los Angeles and San Francisco. I spent some much needed time with family in San Francisco. I had a chance to step back from my work and see where I was headed. I was getting frustrated not at my clients but with myself.
Each week I try to share a lesson learned. This week I learned the power of clarity. When I stated my business a few years ago, I really had no clue in the direction I wanted to take. I had this great notion that I wanted to be of service and basically that’s all I really understood. I started managing social media sites for clients that needed help building their audience. I did not have any set price or service plan in mind. I worked hard on building a relationship with my clients and I can honestly say that it worked for me in the beginning.
I would say it took about a year for a frustration to set in. I felt like the clients were taking advantage of my kindness, but I would never address this concern. It wasn’t until recently that I realized it wasn’t my clients that were taking advantage of me, it was that I didn’t value myself to raise the standard.
Lessons Learned:
People are not mind readers. They will not give you more of anything unless you ask. In the same token, it’s their right whether they choose to continue to work with you or not. It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.
Sometimes people will respect you more for being honest in what you won’t do instead of saying yes and botching it up. If you know in your heart you don’t want to take on a particular project, just say so. You have the right to say no in the beginning.
It’s ok to change your mind. It truly means you are growing. There is nothing that says you can’t change your mind. Figure out what works and change what’s not. Don’t beat yourself up!
Not everyone will like the change, but the empowerment you will gain is priceless.
Quote source: http://www.quotegarden.com/change.htm
“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” ― Paulo Coelho
This week has been very exciting. I flew to Dallas last Tuesday and then flew out to Los Angeles on Wednesday. I had made plans to attend a red carpet event that I had been scheduled for months. When I had a few little unexpected hiccups in my travel plans, I got so frustrated with things; I almost decided not to attend the event.
My trip began in Dallas. The hotel I made reservations with stated they had a free airport shuttle but the day I was scheduled to arrive, the hotel informed me that the shuttle driver would not be able to pick me up. He recommended the shared ride services. I was pissed because that was the reason I choose that hotel. I didn’t want to get a rental car for a simple overnight stay. Now that I had the additional transportation cost my travel budget had to be readjusted.
When I arrived in LA I was able to get my rental car without any issues. I drove to my hotel and when I checked in, they asked for additional money. I had prepaid for the room but they wanted money for incidentals. I didn’t have the money. The hotel clerk suggested that I request a refund through the booking service and that they would agree to the cancellation. I was able to cancel my reservation and the hotel agreed to the cancellation without a cancellation fee. The only remaining problem I had about $30 to my name until the refund was placed back into my bank account. I reached out to an associate to see if I could crash at her place for the night, but she was out of town. I was technically homeless at this time. Panic started to settle in. I reached out to my uncle who lived in San Jose and started thinking; I could drive up to stay with him and skip the event all together. I had a Toyota Prius and unlimited mileage. My uncle told me to hold on while he came up with an idea. I decided to drive to the beach to clear my head.
I stayed out at the beach for about an hour and a half. It was now roughly 6 pm. My uncle texted back and told me he made hotel arrangements at a hotel and all I had to do was check in. They would be waiting on me.
It wasn’t until the following morning when I woke up that I realized that everything had worked out for my good. I was staying at the hotel I originally wanted to stay at before I even flew out here. The room was paid for and money was in my bank account.
As in most situations I always try to look for the lesson to be learned. In this event I learned:
Quote Source: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/trials-of-life
“Start before you’re ready.” ―Steven Pressfield
I read somewhere that if someone wants to build a social media presence you have to create something new each day. I whole heartily agree with this statement, but the hardest thing I find is being disciplined enough to sit down and start.
The one thing writing a blog has taught me is that you have to just simply push through the distractions. There certainly can be quite a few of them when you decided to put action behind an important task. I had the same resistance when I started meditation. I would sit down, get comfy and press play on my iPhone, as soon as Deepak would say close your eyes, thoughts of what I needed to take care of would pop in my head. I couldn’t stay focused. The more I decided I was going to just sit there, I eventually got better. I became less distracted by thoughts and gained more focus on my meditation practice. I know the same will happen on my writing.
I have been working on a few techniques that have helped me get more focused on accomplishing some tasks. I have found that if I get still and take some quiet time with myself, the topics of what I want to write about come to me. When I sit quietly, I ask myself, “What is the message that I would like to bring forward at this moment?” Some of the best ideas have come to me by just waiting. They have had some A-ha moments.
I have also found that by just writing out all of the thoughts that are in your head can be a great way to determine a topic to write about. When you take a moment just to write out what’s on your mind, they don’t have to be organized at that moment, it’s just important to get your thoughts down on paper. Then when you get the chance, go back and organize what you wrote.
The last idea on finding things to write about is just pressing play on your cell phone and just record what’s on your mind. The most important thing with this method is not to leave them in the sound recording. Take a moment to go back, listen and write your ideas down in a notebook or journal. Again the most import thing is to get your thoughts out of your head and down on paper.
As with most posts I write about, there is a lesson I would like to share. This lesson is that you don’t have to things perfect to start, just simply begin with something. I know my writing will improve the more I keep writing, but what I celebrate each time I post, is the simple fact that I did.
Quote Source: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/getting-started
Sweet N Social 
