What I love about the new year is that it always brings new opportunities. There is always a sense of excitement and enthusiasm that is just so powerful. This is the time to set your goals and establish positive habits that will help sustain you throughout the year to meet those goals. My wish for everyone during this coming year is lots of happiness, personal growth and abundance.
One of my top priorities is to always take care of the people or things that take care of me. Whether it is making sure the family is taken care of, the park passes are current or the car needs maintenance, whatever allows me to keep moving forward in doing what I do best is what I take care first. Take care of those things that take care of you. Focus on what makes you happy and brings you peace and fulfillment.
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At some point in time, we all have to take inventory of the baggage we have picked up and have been carrying throughout this journey called life. I found if we learn to identify ours and put down the ones that belong to others, the journey gets easier. I encourage you to sort through the bags you’ve been carrying, find your baggage and let others carry their own.
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Many people describe the type of work that they do when you ask “tell me about yourself”. What I discovered is what we do is not who we are. As I develop my talents, skills or gifts, I am finding that they are slowly making a way for me. The opportunities are endless if your are not afraid the be limitless. By only focusing on what you “do”, you will never discover what you can become.
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Anyone who drives knows that you can’t drive forever on one tank of gas. You have to fuel up in order to keep going. Stopping to take care of yourself is a lot like stopping to refuel. Self care is not selfish, it is necessary. In order to make this journey called life, stop riding on fumes and refuel.
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This post was inspired by a conversation I had with my daughter:
She was upset when I picked up from work and was ready to quit her job because of the “drama” of her co-workers. The advice I gave her was that yes at times you do have to move on but no matter if you change schools, change jobs or even change spouses, the drama free life you are looking for won’t happen until you do some changing within yourself. You have to learn to let go!
I am still amazed how we can allow one person to affect us in our daily lives and in how we see ourselves and view success. I want you to see that you have the power of choice on your side and show you that it’s not the situation that’s important, but how we choose to react that will make a world of difference.
I let go of other people’s “drama” by learning three things:
Truly, no one has power over you unless you give it to them.
#1 Harness the Power of Control:
For years I was concerned about what people thought of me, if they liked me, was a doing a good job, but then I realized that I have the power of choice on my side. It wasn’t until I went to Oprah’s Live the Life You want to Live Weekend Tour in August of 2014. I went to this event by myself and realized that some trips are best taken alone! It caused my perspective of life to shift. It was a 3 day event in Detroit. We were given the cool battery operated LED wristbands that light up during the event. I wore mine for several months despite the fact that battery died shortly after the event. On the wristband, it says “Oprah’s the Life You Want Weekend” It became a daily reminder to me that we all have a choice in every second, of every minute of every day in how we choose to live our lives. As the sun rises each day so are the chances to make new choices.
The more happiness I experienced, the less I wanted to it relinquish it because of someone else’s “drama”.
#2 Eliminating as Much Negativity as Possible:
I love how The Late Dr. Maya Angelou has so eloquently expressed… “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” I first had to stop calling what we so often refer to as failures and setbacks in our lives as mistakes and realized they were learning opportunities. They became my lessons learned.
In life’s lessons there are so often things that we need to learn from them to prepare us for the next challenge. In learning that I can’t control other people’s thought, actions or emotions, life started to become more fun and interesting. I was able to laugh at myself more freely and with less judgement. The more I become aware of my behaviors the more I seem to pick up on the behaviors of others. As my self-awareness expanded the more empathetic I became. Being more empathetic opened the door to identifying with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others, which simply meant I could relate more to others
#3 Practice Daily Mindfulness:
I am not free of judgmental thoughts but I am more aware of when these thoughts and attitudes arise. With expanded awareness you’re able to make more conscious decisions that can lead to better choices. By making better choices I have had more desirable outcomes and more meaningful relationships.
I don’t react to people, to the news and to life’s everyday situations that would “back in the day” set me off. With the power of choice comes the freedom to live life on your terms. I find myself no longer bound by the thoughts or opinions of others. I am not where I would like to be, but I am not the person I was. And if success can be measured by liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. Then I am truly successful!
In Jack Canfield’s Success Principle’s he expresses this in a simple and easy to remember equation: E + R =O. (Event +Reaction=Outcome). In this equation the only thing you have control over is the R (your reaction to the event).
As I stated in the beginning we so often give power to people by allowing them to affect our moods, our days and our lives. By harnessing the power of choice, choosing to eliminate as much negativity as possible from your life and practicing mindfulness to expand your self-awareness you are able to put your life back into focus.
It’s like rebooting yourself back to your original default setting. When you harness that power, you will honestly proclaim:
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
–Invictus – Poem by William Ernest Henley
Poem Credit: http://poemhunter.com/poem/invictus/
Sweet N Social 
