Tag: lesson in everything

Start From Where You Are: Advice on How to Know if Your Actually Improving
“Great goals make great people. People cannot hit what they do not aim for.” ― Roy T. Bennett

How do I know if I’m actually improving (in everything) – Quora

When I was in the military, we had to learn map reading and land navigation.  The first think they taught us was how to plot points on the map.  By learning how to plot points on the map, it taught us how to determine where we were on the map.  If you don’t know where you are on the map, you can’t determine where you are heading.

The second important lesson we learned about reading maps is recognizing elevation and terrain familiarization. This comes in handy if you get off track.  By recognizing a hill or a valley on the map by the elevation drawings you can follow the terrain to get back on track.

I share this because the same fundamentals we learn in map reading and land navigation are the same fundamentals we can apply to improving ourselves.  You must know where you are and determine where you want to go.  Theses can become benchmarks on your map of life. Once your plot your points, the next step is to get going.

Here’s an example, I used to get mad if someone cut me off when I was driving. It was so bad one day when I was taking my son to school, I had just cussed a driver out and I realized I wasn’t being such a super role model for my son who was sitting in the passenger seat watching me.  I was so embarrassed.  I vowed that day; I would change.  I didn’t know how; I just knew why. That was my first plot point on the map.

Over the next few months, I read and took up meditation. I learned other ways to channel my emotions.  How I measured my progress was by paying attention to see how I would react to being cut off while driving.  I was beginning to recognize the terrain that had triggered my outrage.

When you want to change a behavior, first figure out where you are in the process. Where are you on your life map? What triggers your behavior? Why do you want to change?  Who are you changing for?  These are your plot points on your life map.  Then determine what kind of person you want to become? What books can help you? Who can you talk to? There are more plot points that will help you on your path.

When you no longer react but rather respond to situations that once triggered a reaction, you know you are making progress.  The landscape/ terrain starts to change within you.

I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/goals

To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
January 28, 2022
Being Rejected Automatically Can Create An Interesting Shift in One’s Thinking

“You have as many options as you give yourself.” ― Kasie West

I submitted a post that was automatically rejected!

In the past, I know I would have been really upset but the older I get the more I realize, it was not what they were looking for.

The key point in this situation is not that I got rejected, but the fact that I submitted a post in the first place. I knew my chances of being accepted were slim when I submitted my entry in the first place.  By writing a post, I knew I had a 50/50 percent chance of being accepted which is always better than a zero percent chance by never submitting at all.  I also realized that you don’t need someone else’s approval to offer up advice. You can offer but it is always up to someone else if they will choose to take it or not.

This is something I am learning more and more every day.  By expressing or sharing our thoughts, ideas, or experiences, we have done what the universe has called upon us to do. By doing so, we are helping those who are searching for an answer. If it is out there, it is available if it is not, it helps no one.

Here’s my last takeaway:

There is nothing in the rule book that says you can’t offer an answer through other means. We always have options. The question was posted on Quora, but you can post your answer elsewhere!

Don’t let others keep you from sharing your insight and wisdom. My mother use to say, if there is a will, there is a way. Find your way to share your insight and wisdom with the world.

I am posting the question and my answer below. Feel free to check it out if you would like to. If not, I know it wasn’t what you were looking for.

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag?utf8=✓&id=options

Connect with me https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides

Rejected Submission:

What is advice you would give to 20 something year old in today’s world? – Quora

I thought about the advice I would give to my son when I thought about this answer.  He just turned twenty-one this year. He is married and, in the military, about to move to Italy. What came up for me was this:

Live your life. Life is too short to live it according to other people’s standards, including mine.

I was not happy when I found out my son was planning on getting married at nineteen.  I was trying to get him to live a little bit more before settling down, but his heart was set on it. It seemed the more I voiced my opinion against the marriage idea the more they were determined to go through with it.  We had several conversations and the one thing I remember him telling me was that this felt right for him. I wasn’t thrilled but I respected his decision.

I read Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth a few years back and it helped me to step back and realize our roles change in life.  If my son is grown enough to make these kinds of decisions, my role now is to simply love and support him. Just like I lived my life, it is their turn to live theirs.

Food for thought:

“If it is your intention to establish and maintain loving relationships with other people, you absolutely must surrender the need to be in control.” – Iyanla Vanzant

January 3, 2022
Care to Dance?

I started taking salsa classes a few weeks ago. It’s the type of salsa that requires working with a partner. I am not usually the lead partner which has been a struggle for me. They teach us the basic steps and then when we are partnered up, I am to “mirror” my partner. Last week we had a practice session. I learned one of the most valuable lessons, not only to dancing, but in life.

As one of the gentleman asked me to dance, I informed him that is was my first lesson. He smiled and we started to dance. I focused on counting my steps and made lots of missteps and mistakes. My partner smiled and told me to close my eyes. He said feel the rhythm and trust me. I closed my eyes and I tried not to anticipate the steps I just listened to the beat and let my partner lead. It was so much fun! That’s when I understood:

“Life is the dancer and you are the dance.” -Eckhart Tolle

Maybe it is us who causes our own stumbles and missteps. Perhaps we need to learn to let go of our need for control, close our eyes and listen to the rhythm. Life is always asking you, “Care to Dance?”

Quote Source: Eckhart Tolle Quote

May 6, 2019
Time To Let Go

My husband and I, went to watch my son swear in to the Army this morning. We were planning to stay with him until he flew out to his training facility.

There were many young people shipping out today. The Military Processing Facility was packed with family and friends to see them off. As the recruits names were called, they would be ushered into a room for the official swearing ceremony that enlisted them into their designated branch of service. There were so many recruits they had three swearing in ceremonies. My son was in the last group to be sworn in. As the room started to clear out, the recruits remained. Many family members were leaving. I just watched them interacting with each other. No one looked too nervous. Many of the conversations I overheard were about how anxious they were to get to started at training.

At that moment, before the swearing in ceremony, I told my husband that we could head on home after the ceremony. There was no need for us to stay. I realized that my son was no longer my little baby who needed his mom to walk him through this process. He was a young man starting a new chapter in HIS journey. My husband smiled at me and said, “he’s going to be fine, it’s time to let him go.”

July 26, 2018
Compounded Wisdom

In life there is a dynamic duo by the name of Now and Later. To be successful, we have to learn to appreciate now in order to navigate or influence want we want later. Take for instance, whatever you are going through right now in life can provide the tools and the wisdom you need to manage future difficulties later, if you look for it. Take what you learn now and apply it towards what you will face later. It becomes compounded wisdom.

Photo credit: click here.

March 28, 2017