Sweet N Social

Tag: lessons learned

  • Care to Dance?

    Care to Dance?

    Ballroom dance latin dancersI started taking salsa classes a few weeks ago.  It’s the type of salsa that requires working with a partner.  I am not usually the lead partner which has been a struggle for me.  They teach us the basic steps and then when we are partnered up, I am to “mirror” my partner. Last week we had a practice session. I learned one of the most valuable lessons, not only to dancing, but in life.

    As one of the gentleman asked me to dance, I informed him that is was my first lesson. He smiled and we started to dance.  I focused on counting my steps and made lots of missteps and mistakes.  My partner smiled and told me to close my eyes. He said feel the rhythm and trust me.  I closed my eyes and I tried not to anticipate the steps I just listened to the beat and let my partner lead. It was so much fun! That’s when I understood:

    “Life is the dancer and you are the dance.” -Eckhart Tolle

    Maybe it is us who causes our own stumbles and missteps. Perhaps we need to learn to let go of our need for control, close our eyes and listen to the rhythm. Life is always asking you, “Care to Dance?”

    Quote Source:  Eckhart Tolle Quote

  • Creeping Through My List

    Creeping Through My List

    Each year brings a new adventure. This year, I decided to recommit myself to my network marketing business.  Like many others, I associated negatively with network marketing. I never bothered to see if I was perhaps a contributing factor to past failures.

    One of my goals has been to re-connect with people. I have been reaching out to people who are on my contact list to see if they are interested in coffee. This story is about a failed attempt.  Here’s what happened:

    Me: Coffee, next week?
    Woman: No
    Me: Thank you
    Woman: For what?
    Me: I appreciate you responding back.
    Woman: Who is this?
    Me: Tonia Tyler
    Woman: Who
    Me (I thought I knew her): I used to manage you social media account when I worked with …
    Now, I am trying to remember if this is a person I met back in my PR days, so I look at her FB page.
    Me: Pure Romance?
    Woman: How old are you?
    By now, I realize I definitely got her confused with someone else.
    Me: Never mind. I realize you don’t know me so please forget it.
    Woman: Okay
    Woman: You are a creeper (something along those lines)

     

    I almost decided to respond, but then I just deleted our text conversation and her contact information. I was one of those people who use to collect business card and fail to follow up.  I know now that just because we don’t do business today, does not mean we might not do business later, if at all.  It’s not about how many names you have on a list, it’s about the friends you make from your opportunities.

  • The Grumbles

    The Grumbles

    Some of my hardest “NO” have been said to others in order to say “YES” to myself.  I used to get mad and frustrated when people would always ask for favors. I would wonder why was the only one they seemed to call, and get pissed off about it.  Those were little grumblings trying to get my attention.  The one person I did not seem to get mad with was myself. It was ME who made these people feel comfortable in asking because I was the one always saying yes.  I started noticing the feeling that were generated when I would say yes and realized I was the one who had all of the control.

    I love the quote by Les Brown who says “if you like what you are getting, keep doing what you are doing”  I did not like what I was getting. When I said yes to others, I was saying not to my happiness.  I am definitely not saying that we should not help others but sometimes you have to step back and really examine what you are saying yes to.  Are you helping or are you enabling?  There is a difference.

    Take time out before committing to anyone whether you are helping or enabling that person. For me, once I learned the difference, I decide more carefully what I will say “YES” to.  The grumbling deep down inside yourself is trying to tell you something. Take a moment to listen.

     

     

  • Look Into The Mirror

    Look Into The Mirror

    We are all mirrors for each of us to learn something about ourselves. One tool that helped me on my journey was the book “The Seven Habits of a Highly Effective Person” by Stephen Covey. In his book, he walks you through a funeral for yourself. The most profound question that moved me was, “What would you want people to most remember you for?”

    Some of the qualities I want to be remembered for is being a generous, kind and caring person. The next question was, “What do I have to do today to achieve that?” The thing we all can do is determine those things we have the ability to change, or else we can work on our response to those things we can’t.

    The last step is deciding to put into the actions that which will cultivate the qualities we desire to harness. If you want to receive more love, be loving. The more you are, the more you we attract. Life will start to reflect back to you on your progress. Don’t be afraid to look.

  • Apple Juice

    Apple Juice

    I love watching my granddaughter grow up because as she is learning, I’m still learning through her.  The latest lesson came from watching her transition from the bottle to the sippy cup.  We have been trying to introduce juices to her through the sippy cup instead of just giving in and giving her the bottle when she asks for it.

    I would put the apple juice in a small cup and offer it to her after she finished eating her breakfast.  She would push the cup away or throw it while still asking for her bottle.  I couldn’t even get her to take a sip. I slowly began to realize we were tackling two different issues; new cup and new juice. We would have to change our strategy.  Slowly we would offer water in the sippy cup and she would drink it. Once she became more comfortable with the sippy cup we would offer apple juice in the cup.  Once she started taking the apple juice we offered milk in the sippy cup as well.

    It wasn’t until we noticed that everything can’t be offered at once.  It takes “baby steps” in order to change.  This practice is one I always have to remind myself as I try and implement new habits.  As my granddaughter reminded me, do not give me “change” all at once, offer me a “little change” at a time.

     

     

  • My Way Mentality

    My Way Mentality

    When my children were younger, I took on many of the tasks of child rearing not considering what effect it had on my husband.  There are many joys and frustrations that come with raising children.  Many arguments usually started at times when I was tired and just didn’t know how to ask for help.  I took too much on and wasn’t willing to share the load with my partner because I though it had to be done MY way.  When people offer to help, let them.  We get so caught of in the belief that if something is not done in a particular way, that it is wrong.

    Of course at the time I didn’t know this.  It is now, as a grandparent, that I realized that some of the frustration was self-induced.  My husband loves taking care of our granddaughter. I can see how it has changed him and I know she absolutely loves to spend time with him.

    Many people just want to know that they matter.  By opening yourself up to receive help from others,  you are allowing them to experience purpose and meaning in their life.

  • Playing Catch

    Playing Catch

    Today is the day I walk with a walking club.  I don’t compete but I do use other walkers as incentive to push myself.  In most cases, you look for a walker who is ahead of you and you make them your focal point.  Once I can find a target walker, I put my head down and focus on my walking technique and breathing.  With such focus, you can usually “walk them down” in other words, you can catch them.  I’ve been catch and I have caught others.

    I did not try and walk anyone down today. I started late so I just focused on my walking stride and breath. I did start to pass people.  After the walk was over, a gentleman can over and told me he looks for me on the trail.  I’ve seen this man on several occasions but we’ve never spoken to each other before.  He told me he had to let me know, he looks to try and stay ahead a head of me but he knows that I will pass him eventually.

    What I’ve found most beneficial is to not worry about who is behind you. Stay focused on whose ahead.  Its not about getting catch, its about making them reach.

  • Goal Analysis

    Goal Analysis

    Like so many people, I struggle with getting things done, especially if it makes me feel like work to me.  It’s a real struggle especially when I retired from the military years ago.  I battle with laziness.  I know if I can admit it, I am recognizing it, and ultimately I can change it. Like a cost analysis, I assess my productivity by conducting a goal analysis.  Its simple. Let me explain.

    On many occasions for instance, I love to run to my favorite book buying spot to browse the books. I use browsing loosely because I can always find something to buy.  I have many books at home, not to mention a library reading list that will definitely take time to read through. What I have to do for myself is redirect my impulse to run to the store towards something that will actually get me closer to creating a legacy for my family.  I know that just buying more books will not get me there.

    Awareness is the first key to conducting my analysis.  I ask myself this: “is what I want to do going to get me closer or father away from my goal?” If the answer is no, the next question is: “what action can I do right now, that will?” I realize it just a simple matter of redirecting my energy and focus into more productive activities that will get me closer to what I want to achieve in life rather than what I want to buy throughout life.

  • Sharing is Caring

    Sharing is Caring

    I started recording little videos and sharing tidbits of my story online because I read so many success books over the years. I realized that the best part of your learning is in sharing the knowledge you gain with others.  For example when a woman buys a new dress and she gets a great deal on it, she will, like many other woman, she will tell you where she got it and more than likely, how much she paid for it.  I do it!

    Like the things we buy, holding on to it will not benefit anyone in the end.  The more you share, the more knowledge we gain in return.  It’s like creativity or oxygen, you simply can’t run out of it.

  • Bible Study

    Bible Study

    I love learning something new. To me, it keeps life interesting.  My reading journey started about five years ago when I was going through a transitional period in my life. I never really had a desire for reading but at this particular time in my life I was looking for answers.  I started out reading spiritual books. When I would see the scriptures in the books I wanted to know if the Bible matched the context in which it was being used.  I guess you could call it “fact checking”.  I found myself  reading the Bible more and started to come to my own sense of understanding, my own Truth, of the parables.

    You never know where the journey will take you. Fast forward, two years later, as I began to work with a new direct selling company, I pondered who I could market my products to. My daughter had just had a baby and I was planning on watching my granddaughter when my daughter returned to work. The traditional networking avenues I was familiar with were no longer an option.  My creativity kicked in one day when a Jehovah Witness  stopped by to visit my home. They came to share their good news.  I thought to myself I could share mine too.  That one visit turned into several.  They visited with me for over six months.

    What I learned during those visits had to do more with how I interacted with others as we discussed a the hot topic of religion.  I learned its okay to not only agree or disagree, but to express myself without threatening someone else’s belief. We are all entitled to out opinions. Someone else’s belief does not diminish who you are.