Let the magnetism of your dream pull forward. I hear so often people say I “have” to do or I “should” be doing but if you allow your dream to pull you, you will find yourself doing things you want to do. The healthy habits you consistently do each day is what will bring you the happiness and the success you are looking for.
Photo credit: click here.
Blinkers are also known as blinders. They are the piece of horse tack that prevent the horse seeing to the rear and, in some cases, to the side. Trainers believe these keep the horses focused on what is in front, encouraging them to pay attention to the race rather than other distractions, such as crowds.
To keep moving forward at times you will need to put your blinkers on to stay in your lane.
Sources: Wikipedia / Photo credit: click here.
When I walk pass someone I know, many times they stop and tell me they recognized my gait. My walk is distinct just like my brand.
This post was inspired by a conversation I had with my daughter:
She was upset when I picked up from work and was ready to quit her job because of the “drama” of her co-workers. The advice I gave her was that yes at times you do have to move on but no matter if you change schools, change jobs or even change spouses, the drama free life you are looking for won’t happen until you do some changing within yourself. You have to learn to let go!
I am still amazed how we can allow one person to affect us in our daily lives and in how we see ourselves and view success. I want you to see that you have the power of choice on your side and show you that it’s not the situation that’s important, but how we choose to react that will make a world of difference.
I let go of other people’s “drama” by learning three things:
Truly, no one has power over you unless you give it to them.
#1 Harness the Power of Control:
For years I was concerned about what people thought of me, if they liked me, was a doing a good job, but then I realized that I have the power of choice on my side. It wasn’t until I went to Oprah’s Live the Life You want to Live Weekend Tour in August of 2014. I went to this event by myself and realized that some trips are best taken alone! It caused my perspective of life to shift. It was a 3 day event in Detroit. We were given the cool battery operated LED wristbands that light up during the event. I wore mine for several months despite the fact that battery died shortly after the event. On the wristband, it says “Oprah’s the Life You Want Weekend” It became a daily reminder to me that we all have a choice in every second, of every minute of every day in how we choose to live our lives. As the sun rises each day so are the chances to make new choices.
The more happiness I experienced, the less I wanted to it relinquish it because of someone else’s “drama”.
#2 Eliminating as Much Negativity as Possible:
I love how The Late Dr. Maya Angelou has so eloquently expressed… “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” I first had to stop calling what we so often refer to as failures and setbacks in our lives as mistakes and realized they were learning opportunities. They became my lessons learned.
In life’s lessons there are so often things that we need to learn from them to prepare us for the next challenge. In learning that I can’t control other people’s thought, actions or emotions, life started to become more fun and interesting. I was able to laugh at myself more freely and with less judgement. The more I become aware of my behaviors the more I seem to pick up on the behaviors of others. As my self-awareness expanded the more empathetic I became. Being more empathetic opened the door to identifying with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others, which simply meant I could relate more to others
#3 Practice Daily Mindfulness:
I am not free of judgmental thoughts but I am more aware of when these thoughts and attitudes arise. With expanded awareness you’re able to make more conscious decisions that can lead to better choices. By making better choices I have had more desirable outcomes and more meaningful relationships.
I don’t react to people, to the news and to life’s everyday situations that would “back in the day” set me off. With the power of choice comes the freedom to live life on your terms. I find myself no longer bound by the thoughts or opinions of others. I am not where I would like to be, but I am not the person I was. And if success can be measured by liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. Then I am truly successful!
In Jack Canfield’s Success Principle’s he expresses this in a simple and easy to remember equation: E + R =O. (Event +Reaction=Outcome). In this equation the only thing you have control over is the R (your reaction to the event).
As I stated in the beginning we so often give power to people by allowing them to affect our moods, our days and our lives. By harnessing the power of choice, choosing to eliminate as much negativity as possible from your life and practicing mindfulness to expand your self-awareness you are able to put your life back into focus.
It’s like rebooting yourself back to your original default setting. When you harness that power, you will honestly proclaim:
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
–Invictus – Poem by William Ernest Henley
Poem Credit: http://poemhunter.com/poem/invictus/
We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. – Lynn Hall
I just came back from an eleven day trip that took me to Dallas, Los Angeles and San Francisco. I spent some much needed time with family in San Francisco. I had a chance to step back from my work and see where I was headed. I was getting frustrated not at my clients but with myself.
Each week I try to share a lesson learned. This week I learned the power of clarity. When I stated my business a few years ago, I really had no clue in the direction I wanted to take. I had this great notion that I wanted to be of service and basically that’s all I really understood. I started managing social media sites for clients that needed help building their audience. I did not have any set price or service plan in mind. I worked hard on building a relationship with my clients and I can honestly say that it worked for me in the beginning.
I would say it took about a year for a frustration to set in. I felt like the clients were taking advantage of my kindness, but I would never address this concern. It wasn’t until recently that I realized it wasn’t my clients that were taking advantage of me, it was that I didn’t value myself to raise the standard.
Lessons Learned:
People are not mind readers. They will not give you more of anything unless you ask. In the same token, it’s their right whether they choose to continue to work with you or not. It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.
Sometimes people will respect you more for being honest in what you won’t do instead of saying yes and botching it up. If you know in your heart you don’t want to take on a particular project, just say so. You have the right to say no in the beginning.
It’s ok to change your mind. It truly means you are growing. There is nothing that says you can’t change your mind. Figure out what works and change what’s not. Don’t beat yourself up!
Not everyone will like the change, but the empowerment you will gain is priceless.
Quote source: http://www.quotegarden.com/change.htm
“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” ― Paulo Coelho
This week has been very exciting. I flew to Dallas last Tuesday and then flew out to Los Angeles on Wednesday. I had made plans to attend a red carpet event that I had been scheduled for months. When I had a few little unexpected hiccups in my travel plans, I got so frustrated with things; I almost decided not to attend the event.
My trip began in Dallas. The hotel I made reservations with stated they had a free airport shuttle but the day I was scheduled to arrive, the hotel informed me that the shuttle driver would not be able to pick me up. He recommended the shared ride services. I was pissed because that was the reason I choose that hotel. I didn’t want to get a rental car for a simple overnight stay. Now that I had the additional transportation cost my travel budget had to be readjusted.
When I arrived in LA I was able to get my rental car without any issues. I drove to my hotel and when I checked in, they asked for additional money. I had prepaid for the room but they wanted money for incidentals. I didn’t have the money. The hotel clerk suggested that I request a refund through the booking service and that they would agree to the cancellation. I was able to cancel my reservation and the hotel agreed to the cancellation without a cancellation fee. The only remaining problem I had about $30 to my name until the refund was placed back into my bank account. I reached out to an associate to see if I could crash at her place for the night, but she was out of town. I was technically homeless at this time. Panic started to settle in. I reached out to my uncle who lived in San Jose and started thinking; I could drive up to stay with him and skip the event all together. I had a Toyota Prius and unlimited mileage. My uncle told me to hold on while he came up with an idea. I decided to drive to the beach to clear my head.
I stayed out at the beach for about an hour and a half. It was now roughly 6 pm. My uncle texted back and told me he made hotel arrangements at a hotel and all I had to do was check in. They would be waiting on me.
It wasn’t until the following morning when I woke up that I realized that everything had worked out for my good. I was staying at the hotel I originally wanted to stay at before I even flew out here. The room was paid for and money was in my bank account.
As in most situations I always try to look for the lesson to be learned. In this event I learned:
Quote Source: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/trials-of-life
“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” – John Wayne
The biggest step I took that changed my life was the day I quit my job. 
It was December of 2011, I was listening to Katy Perry’s “Firework “on my way to work and was balling like a big old baby. I knew I had to make a change in my life but I was a wife and a mother of three with financial obligations. Something said you can’t keep living like this, you are miserable with you job. I finally got the nerve up to go into Human Resources and put my two weeks’ notice in. I had no real idea what I planned on doing but one thing for sure was I was not going to keep working the same job I had done for almost 25 years through the military and private sector. Many people offered their opinions about my actions but for some strange reason, I felt I was where I needed to be doing exactly what it was I was doing. At that time I didn’t know that some people would call that a “calling”. My life hit some rough patches during 2012 through 2013. It wasn’t until 2014 that things started to fall into place. By now, I had my social media business for 2 years with no real growth. You may be asking yourself, how is that falling into place? Let me explain.
I had one client sign on with me in 2013. 
During that time we both were in a transitional period of our lives. He signed on with me in 2013 as a client. He had asked me to trust him and that he would do all that we could do to make his dreams come true and that if he made it, we both would make it. I committed myself to support his dreams by doing what I did best, helping him with his social media presence.
The biggest shift in my business was when my priorities changed. From 2013 to 2014 my business mindset shifted from sales to service. I looked forward to meeting potential clients with aspirations in helping them grow their business. It made such a difference knowing I had something valuable to offer. I realized that when people work to build the relationship the money will follow. 
I know I am not where I want to be in career but I can honestly say I’m enjoying the journey.
As I look back on that period of my life, I know that without experiencing the loss and heartache I went through, I would not be who and where I am now. The test was in the trial. I trust in something greater than myself and remain open to the possibilities. Here are three things I have learned along the way that I would love to share with you.
Sweet N Social 
