“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” ― Jordan Belfort
Have you ever stopped doing something you enjoyed because you didn’t get likes, subscribers or followers you wanted? I want to talk about how we can manage the external sources of influence that keep us from creating the life we want.
One day while I was running, I was thinking to myself that I would stop making Instagram Reels. The problem with that thinking is, I love making Instagram Reel videos. I love taking 10-second clips of video and turning it into a snippet of entertainment. I think that is why I have enjoyed learning how to make YouTube videos too.
Back to the problem, I was getting frustrated because I was losing followers on my IG page and I automatically assume it was because of the videos. I also started criticizing myself for posting videos of the nature I would see on my walks which helps me to stay creative.
I was ready to stop doing the one of the things that brings me joy because of external sources. In many cases we don’t know or will never know why people unfollow, unsubscribe, or unlike us, but our minds will search for reasons and that what was happening to me.
Here’s what we have to keep in mind, their action have nothing to do with us. We are internalizing or trying to rationalize what someone else is thinking when we try to “guess” or “figure out” what made them take action without ever asking them directly. When we do this, nothing positive usually comes from this kind of thinking. We are our worst critiques!
When we decide to stop doing the things we enjoy doing because of likes, subscribers, or followers we are measuring our success by the standards of others. These are what we call external sources of influences. Learning how to navigate these external sources of influences is key especially when it comes to honoring what it is that we enjoy doing and makes us happy.
Here are a few suggestions that have helped me:
Define what success looks like to you.
Asking yourself what feeling are you after is a great place to start. Are you after happiness? Inner peace? Fulfillment? Then ask yourself, what kinds of activities bring me those kinds of feelings?
When I started walking years ago, I was looking for inner peace during a chaotic period of my life. Nine years later, I still walk because I found the inner peace I was looking for in my life. I also lost weight and my marriage is much healthier and stronger too.
Keep in mind why you started in the first place.
Sometimes when we stop to reconnect with our why, we remember what was the motivating force behind starting in the first place.
For instance, when I started my YouTube channel, I started it as a way to provide uplifting content to deal with the COVID shutdown. I asked some of the life coaches in my network if they would like to share some insight on how to deal with the COVID shutdown. My goal was not to become a YouTube Influencer.
By always remembering why I started my channel it helps me to keep in perspective what I am doing it for so when I don’t get the likes, subscribers or comments I don’t have the desire to quit. I have stronger reason to keep going and that is like sprinkles on the cupcake. It also helps me to stay consistent in uploading my content. Whoever is looking for it, when they need it, can find it!
Remember that You Matter.
I think this one is the most important factor in all of this. You matter and your voice matters. Our experiences in life are not exclusively for you. It is for you to share the lessons you learned because of it.
When we take time to learn the lessons along our journey, they can become the missing pieces to someone else’s puzzle. When we allow the external sources of influence to stop us, we are saying subconsciously, that we do not matter and what we experience in life is irrelevant. That is one of the biggest lies we can say to ourselves. You matter, your opinions matter and someone is waiting for your message in the big beautiful world of ours.
Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I invite you to check out my Instagram Reels and leave a comment. Feedback is always welcome.
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/excuses
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/confidentstrides/
In life ,we can get so caught up in the opinions of others. We worry that we are not doing the “right” thing. What I and so many others fail to recognize is what feels “right” to you is not always going to feel “right” for someone else. That’s the beauty of life, because their life purpose or path is not for you and vice versa.
A few years ago I used to manage social media accounts for a few Hollywood clients. I had an amazing time traveling back and forth to California to work the red carpet events. It wasn’t until one evening at an event that I had a thought : Why am I so focused on following behind people who are busy following their dreams? That’s when I decided to stop working for other people and start focusing on me. I closed down my social media business and took time out to work on and discover the true me. I must admit, it has been by far one of the best yet hardest jobs I ever done. Working on yourself may not make you rich but it does have the greatest return on investment.
Sweet N Social 
