Sweet N Social

Tag: look for the lesson

  • Life is About Learning: Do You Have Permission to Fail?


    “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” ― Paulo Coelho

    Are we giving ourselves permission to fail?

    I don’t think we do. If we gave ourselves permission to fail, just imaging how much more compassionate we could be with others. We could see that we are all just trying to do the best with our current mindsets.

    I recently took some time to reflect back on some of my life experiences and realized, I have failed a lot along the way but it didn’t mean I was a failure. Being a two time divorced woman, I now realize my previous marriages helped me to become the woman I am today. There were things within me that I needed to face and address if I wanted my third marriage to work. I like the quote, “what we resist will persist.” When my current marriage hit a rocky patch a few years ago, my first instinct was to put all the blame on my husband. I considered myself the victim and could find plenty of evidence to back up my claim of how bad my husband treated me. At this time in my life, I had started reading more books on self-discovery. I would take long walks through the park and just think and my mind got curious about my role in this contractual agreement we called a marriage.

    The first thing I had to do, was to forgive myself. I learned to give myself a little more grace and become a little bit more loving with myself. My defense mechanism had always been to find all the wrong in my husband without considering putting the spotlight on me. There were some hard truths I had to face about myself.

    I would not saying that my previous marriages would have worked out had I taken the deeper dive into myself before then, but I am thankful for the lessons that they taught me. I don’t hold any ill will towards my exes because I know, like me, they were doing the best they knew.

    So, back to main point: learning to give ourselves permission to fail, here are my takeaways:

    1. Commit to becoming a lifetime learner. Learn who you are and what to like and dislike.
    2. Be willing to explore new things. Life is what you make of it.
    3. If you fail at something, don’t quit, keep trying. Become like a scientist, take inventory of what worked and figure out what didn’t then go back to the drawing board.
    4. You are awesome. Give yourself some Grace!

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/failure

    I am including an Amazon Affiliate link to one of the books that helped my through my rough patch. It’s titled, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman: https://amzn.to/3vfYDSe

  • Look for the Lesson

    Look for the Lesson

    “The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” ― Paulo Coelho

    This week has been very exciting. I flew to Dallas last Tuesday and then flew out to Los Angeles on Wednesday.  I had made plans to attend a red carpet event that I had been scheduled for months.  When I had a few little unexpected hiccups in my travel plans, I got so frustrated with things; I almost decided not to attend the event.

    My trip began in Dallas.  The hotel I made reservations with stated they had a free airport shuttle but the day I was scheduled to arrive, the hotel informed me that the shuttle driver would not be able to pick me up.  He recommended the shared ride services. I was pissed because that was the reason I choose that hotel. I didn’t want to get a rental car for a simple overnight stay. Now that I had the additional transportation cost my travel budget had to be readjusted.

    When I arrived in LA I was able to get my rental car without any issues. I drove to my hotel and when I checked in, they asked for additional money. I had prepaid for the room but they wanted money for incidentals.  I didn’t have the money. The hotel clerk suggested that I request a refund through the booking service and that they would agree to the cancellation. I was able to cancel my reservation and the hotel agreed to the cancellation without a cancellation fee.  The only remaining problem I had about $30 to my name until the refund was placed back into my bank account. I reached out to an associate to see if I could crash at her place for the night, but she was out of town.  I was technically homeless at this time. Panic started to settle in. I reached out to my uncle who lived in San Jose and started thinking; I could drive up to stay with him and skip the event all together. I had a Toyota Prius and unlimited mileage.  My uncle told me to hold on while he came up with an idea. I decided to drive to the beach to clear my head.

    I stayed out at the beach for about an hour and a half.  It was now roughly 6 pm. My uncle texted back and told me he made hotel arrangements at a hotel and all I had to do was check in. They would be waiting on me.

    It wasn’t until the following morning when I woke up that I realized that everything had worked out for my good.  I was staying at the hotel I originally wanted to stay at before I even flew out here. The room was paid for and money was in my bank account.

    As in most situations I always try to look for the lesson to be learned. In this event I learned:

    1. Trust in the Universe.
    2. Don’t worry. Take each moment as they come.
    3. Trials come to make you stronger and wiser

    Quote Source: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/trials-of-life