Sweet N Social

Tag: mental health

  • Growth in Real Time: From “This Is Bullshit” to “Oh… This Is Growth”

    Growth in Real Time: From “This Is Bullshit” to “Oh… This Is Growth”

    There are days when life gives you exactly what you asked for—clarity, growth, inspiration. And then there are days when life hands you something else entirely… a fee.

    A $12 house-sitting fee, to be exact.

    On the surface, it’s a small thing.
    But when I opened that email on my travel day, something in me snapped. My first thought wasn’t profound or poetic. It was honest:

    “This is some bullshit.”

    I said it out loud too.

    Because it wasn’t just about the money. It was about what the fee stirred up inside me. It pressed on something deeper, something I didn’t know needed attention.

    And that’s when the learning moment began.

    The First Layer: The Frustration

    Let’s be honest—I was frustrated.

    Not dramatic-frustrated.
    Not spiraling-frustrated.
    Just that slow simmer of “Why does everything cost more right now?”

    Travel already has:

    • flights
    • rental cars
    • micro-payments
    • rising interest rates
    • airport fees
    • and the emotional labor of being responsible in someone else’s home

    And now the platform wants to add a fee on top of all that?

    As a house-sitter who provides care, presence, trust, and peace of mind—for free—it felt insulting. Not financially devastating. Just irritating in principle.

    And I let myself feel that.

    Sometimes honesty is the doorway to clarity.

    The Second Layer: What the Fee Revealed

    Once the first irritation settled, something surprising surfaced.

    I realized I was reacting from a lack mindset, not an expansive one.

    Not because I don’t believe in abundance.
    Not because I’m struggling.
    But because I’ve been protecting money my father gave me instead of imagining the money my creativity can generate.

    That realization hit me hard.

    I was thinking from:

    “Let me hold onto what I have,”
    instead of
    “Let me grow into what I can create.”

    Protection is not the same as expansion.

    A $12 fee shouldn’t have that much emotional weight. But it did. It exposed the mindset I was still working from.

    Sometimes the universe uses something small to reveal something big.

    The Third Layer: A Strategic Shift

    Then another truth came forth:

    This fee forces me to choose sits intentionally—not emotionally.

    Not every sit is worth:

    • the travel
    • the energy
    • the responsibility
    • the cost
    • the disruption
    • the creative bandwidth

    Some sits ARE worth it.
    Some sits feed my spirit, my reflections, my writing, and my walking practice.

    Others?
    Not anymore.

    The fee didn’t stop me from house-sitting—it made me smarter about it.

    It reminded me that house-sitting is part of my creative ecosystem, not just a trip. It supports my:

    • blog
    • newsletter
    • reflections
    • podcast
    • walking wisdom
    • sense of expansion

    It belongs in my business now, not on the sidelines.

    The Fourth Layer: The Spark

    Here’s the funny part:

    If that fee hadn’t annoyed me, I probably wouldn’t have started working on my T-shirt idea today.

    Frustration has always been one of my creative triggers.
    It wakes something up in me.

    My pattern has always been:

    Emotion → Reflection → Clarity → Creation.

    And today was no different.

    Sometimes the spark doesn’t come from inspiration—it comes from irritation.

    The Lesson: Everything Is a Learning Moment

    This experience wasn’t about a fee.
    It was about:

    • how I see myself
    • how I see my growth
    • how I see my finances
    • how I honor my creativity
    • how I evolve my business
    • how I choose what’s aligned
    • how I let frustration show me what needs to shift

    Everything is a learning moment—
    if you let yourself feel first and consider second.

    Nothing is wasted.
    Not even the annoying parts.
    Not even the bullshit moments.

    They all carry information.
    They all carry clarity.
    They all carry potential.

    I’m learning to see it all.

    Reflection Prompt

    Where in your life is frustration pointing you toward growth? Is it signaling a shift you didn’t realize you were ready for?

    Author’s Note

    This reflection came from a real-time moment of frustration that opened into clarity. I’m sharing it here because these are the moments that shape us—not the polished ones, but the honest ones.

    If this reflection resonated with you, follow Sweet N Social for more stories on creativity. You will also find inspiration on confidence and finding your rhythm in everyday moments.

    If you want the audio version of these insights, join me on Confident Strides: The Podcast. Every story becomes a moment in motion.

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

  • Confident Strides: The Podcast — Episode 1: Embracing Presence: Lessons from the Shore

    Confident Strides: The Podcast — Episode 1: Embracing Presence: Lessons from the Shore

    Episode Summary

    Confident Strides: The Podcast invites listeners to think about the value of attendance over perfection. This episode shares a personal story at Fort Ord State Beach. It explores how focusing on capturing moments can distract us. This distraction can prevent us from truly experiencing them. It highlights the importance of letting go, being existing, and finding confidence in the unpredictability of life’s waves.

    Show Notes

    In this episode, we walk through:

    • A full-circle moment years in the making
    • The tension between capturing a moment and living it
    • What the ocean teaches about timing, release, and acceptance
    • How presence builds confidence in unexpected ways
    • Why perfectionism often robs us of the very peace we’re seeking

    Key themes:

    • Presence over perfection
    • Letting go of control
    • Mindful movement
    • Personal growth in motion
    • Nature as a teacher

    Favorite Moment

    “The waves come when they come. The peace is in being there when they do.”

    Transcript

    Tonia Tyler (00:00)
    Welcome to Confidence Tries, the podcast. Quiet moments, powerful insights, a space to walk, reflect, and grow.

    Speaker (00:10)
    So picture this. I’m standing on this wide, quiet beach, phone in hand, just totally determined to snap the perfect wave. But every single time, I thought, this is it. The moment slipped right past me. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself after the third missed shot. That’s happened to me too, and it’s so frustrating. There’s that urge to capture something amazing. But while you’re busy fiddling with your phone,

    the thing you wanted to catch is already gone. It’s like you’re so focused on preserving the perfect memory, you end up missing out on actually experiencing it. Exactly. And then it hit me, how many of those moments have I let pass by? Just because I was too wrapped up in trying to control them, life’s got this wild way of rolling on, like those waves, whether we’re ready or not. What surprised me most is how much calmer things feel when you just let go of trying to capture it all. I mean,

    You stop chasing the perfect timing and just soak up what’s right in front of you, even if it’s messy or unpredictable. Totally. When I finally lowered my phone and just watched, it was this totally different experience. There was this one wave, tall and golden in the late sun. And for once I just took it in. No photo, no proof, just memory. Moments like that stick with you, don’t they? It almost feels freeing, not needing to hold on to everything or get every detail right.

    You get this sense of peace from just being present, even if you’re not capturing it for later. Yeah, and it makes me wonder how often we mistake control for confidence, if I can just get the shot or plan the outcome, then maybe everything will feel secure. But really, it’s the letting go where the real confidence is. Funny you say that, because every time I’ve tried to force things to go my way, it never quite works out. But when I just show up and let things unfold,

    That’s when I actually feel grounded. It’s a totally different kind of trust. One that’s about being present, not perfect. That actually reminds me how important it is to walk at your own pace. The ocean’s not rushing for anyone, and neither should we. There’s this quiet strength in just moving forward. Even if it doesn’t look picture perfect. Absolutely, and I think sometimes we need those reminders. You can’t control the waves, but you can choose to be there, fully.

    for whatever comes. That’s how real confidence grows step by step, right where you are.

    Tonia Tyler (02:41)
    Your path, your pace, your confidence.

    Reflection Prompt

    Where in your life are you trying so hard to capture the perfect moment that you’re missing the one right in front of you?

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

  • Love Those Rainy Days: How to Level Up Your Thinking Game

    Mental health problems don’t define who you are. They are something you experience. You walk in the rain and you feel the rain, but, importantly, YOU ARE NOT THE RAIN.” — Matt Haig

    It was so hard getting out of bed this morning. I could hear the gentle sound of rain coming down and my Sterns and Foster mattress was feeling so good. The dogs were even still sleep. As I slowly got moving, I peeked out the window and saw that the rain was tampering off. I might be able to get my morning walk in after all!

    I try to make getting some kind of run or walk a priority on most mornings especially on the days that I have podcast interviews to conduct. Getting up and getting a walk or a run in has been a great way to get my energy moving and my ideas flowing. Plus it has been a great way to clear my head so that I can be fully present during the interview conversations. But on rainy mornings it’s so hard to get motivated and it simply throws my whole day off!

    I wanted to share some tips I have found to help me on rainy days and well as cold mornings which can also throw a monkey wrench in staying on my daily routine.

    First: Consider how will you feel once you are done.

    Sometimes just thinking about how good it will feel to have accomplished what I set out to do is enough to just get me out the door. You can also turn it around and think about how you will feel if you don’t. There is something about knowing you conquered the odds to get what you want that makes you feel more confident and empowered. It’s the one deciding factor that can be the gateway to many more small victories throughout your day, your month and your year.

    Second: Stop worrying about what others think.

    I will admit, on rainy days especially, I sometimes feel like an idiot running or walking in the rain. On this particular morning, worried if I looked crazy to others. I know it sounds weird, and it looks even weirder writing it, but to face it, I know I have to at least acknowledge it. I’m dedicated to my mental health as much as I am to my physical health, that’s why I love my walks. So when I see other folks out walking on rainy days, I don’t feel so bad. Matter of fact, a gentleman said to me today, “I thought I was the only one out here nuts.”

    It’s in those moments that It was just as easy for me to stay in the house as it was for me to make that 2.5 second decision to put on the shoes and lace them up. As for worrying about what others think, I keep this thought in the back of my mind, “people go to work in the rain and no one thinks that’s crazy. I am going to work too. My job is to work on me.”

    Lastly: Do what other won’t

    It’s in these moments when it’s raining or snowing or just simply cloudy, that it was just as easy for me to stay in the house as it was for me to make the 2.5 second decision to put on the shoes, lace them up and get moving. On rainy, cloudy and snowy days, of course there are not many folks out walking or running. It’s also in those moments that you can look upon as character building moments. It always comes down to our perspective and how we choose to look at any situation. When you choose to walk or run on days that are more challenging then others, you just leveled up your thinking game.

    So here are my recap/takeaways for today:

    1. Consider how will you feel either completing your walk/run.
    2. The opinions of others is just that, opinions.
    3. Level up your thinking game by doing what others won’t.
    4. Be your amazing and wonderful self

    I cordially invite you to connect with me https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides

    Quote Source: https://mentalhealthmatch.com/articles/anxiety/inspiring-mental-health-quotes