Tag: mindfulness

  • Growth in Real Time: From “This Is Bullshit” to “Oh… This Is Growth”

    Growth in Real Time: From “This Is Bullshit” to “Oh… This Is Growth”

    There are days when life gives you exactly what you asked for—clarity, growth, inspiration. And then there are days when life hands you something else entirely… a fee.

    A $12 house-sitting fee, to be exact.

    On the surface, it’s a small thing.
    But when I opened that email on my travel day, something in me snapped. My first thought wasn’t profound or poetic. It was honest:

    “This is some bullshit.”

    I said it out loud too.

    Because it wasn’t just about the money. It was about what the fee stirred up inside me. It pressed on something deeper, something I didn’t know needed attention.

    And that’s when the learning moment began.


    The First Layer: The Frustration

    Let’s be honest—I was frustrated.

    Not dramatic-frustrated.
    Not spiraling-frustrated.
    Just that slow simmer of “Why does everything cost more right now?”

    Travel already has:

    • flights
    • rental cars
    • micro-payments
    • rising interest rates
    • airport fees
    • and the emotional labor of being responsible in someone else’s home

    And now the platform wants to add a fee on top of all that?

    As a house-sitter who provides care, presence, trust, and peace of mind—for free—it felt insulting. Not financially devastating. Just irritating in principle.

    And I let myself feel that.

    Sometimes honesty is the doorway to clarity.


    The Second Layer: What the Fee Revealed

    Once the first irritation settled, something surprising surfaced.

    I realized I was reacting from a lack mindset, not an expansive one.

    Not because I don’t believe in abundance.
    Not because I’m struggling.
    But because I’ve been protecting money my father gave me instead of imagining the money my creativity can generate.

    That realization hit me hard.

    I was thinking from:

    “Let me hold onto what I have,”
    instead of
    “Let me grow into what I can create.”

    Protection is not the same as expansion.

    A $12 fee shouldn’t have that much emotional weight. But it did. It exposed the mindset I was still working from.

    Sometimes the universe uses something small to reveal something big.


    The Third Layer: A Strategic Shift

    Then another truth came forth:

    This fee forces me to choose sits intentionally—not emotionally.

    Not every sit is worth:

    • the travel
    • the energy
    • the responsibility
    • the cost
    • the disruption
    • the creative bandwidth

    Some sits ARE worth it.
    Some sits feed my spirit, my reflections, my writing, and my walking practice.

    Others?
    Not anymore.

    The fee didn’t stop me from house-sitting—it made me smarter about it.

    It reminded me that house-sitting is part of my creative ecosystem, not just a trip. It supports my:

    • blog
    • newsletter
    • reflections
    • podcast
    • walking wisdom
    • sense of expansion

    It belongs in my business now, not on the sidelines.


    The Fourth Layer: The Spark

    Here’s the funny part:

    If that fee hadn’t annoyed me, I probably wouldn’t have started working on my T-shirt idea today.

    Frustration has always been one of my creative triggers.
    It wakes something up in me.

    My pattern has always been:

    Emotion → Reflection → Clarity → Creation.

    And today was no different.

    Sometimes the spark doesn’t come from inspiration—it comes from irritation.


    The Lesson: Everything Is a Learning Moment

    This experience wasn’t about a fee.
    It was about:

    • how I see myself
    • how I see my growth
    • how I see my finances
    • how I honor my creativity
    • how I evolve my business
    • how I choose what’s aligned
    • how I let frustration show me what needs to shift

    Everything is a learning moment—
    if you let yourself feel first and consider second.

    Nothing is wasted.
    Not even the annoying parts.
    Not even the bullshit moments.

    They all carry information.
    They all carry clarity.
    They all carry potential.

    I’m learning to see it all.


    Reflection Prompt

    Where in your life is frustration pointing you toward growth? Is it signaling a shift you didn’t realize you were ready for?


    Author’s Note

    This reflection came from a real-time moment of frustration that opened into clarity. I’m sharing it here because these are the moments that shape us—not the polished ones, but the honest ones.


    If this reflection resonated with you, follow Sweet N Social for more stories on creativity. You will also find inspiration on confidence and finding your rhythm in everyday moments.

    If you want the audio version of these insights, join me on Confident Strides: The Podcast. Every story becomes a moment in motion.

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

  • Embracing Presence: Lessons from the Shore

    Embracing Presence: Lessons from the Shore

    The waves at Fort Ord have a rhythm all their own. Some crash loud and proud, spraying salt mist high into the air. Others roll in quietly, curling under themselves before disappearing back into the sea.

    I’m sitting on the sand with my phone in hand. I am waiting for that perfect shot. It’s the kind that makes you feel the power and pull of the ocean even through a screen. Every time I look away, it occurs. The big wave comes. It’s the perfect one. It’s the moment I thought I was ready for.

    It makes me laugh a little. There’s something poetic about missing the moment because I was too busy trying to catch it.


    The Illusion of Control

    As a photographer, I’ve learned that timing is everything. But here, sitting by the water, I realize that control is an illusion.

    You can prepare your camera, adjust your focus, line up your frame — but the waves don’t act on command. They come when they come. The ocean has no interest in your readiness or your plans.

    And as an entrepreneur, that lesson hits home.
    How many times have I tried to line up everything just right before launching something new? Waiting for the “perfect” moment — the right lighting, the right energy, the right audience? And still, somehow, the timing never feels exact.

    Because life, like the ocean, has its own rhythm.


    Presence Over Perfection

    I put my phone down and just watch for a while. Without the pressure to capture, I start to see. I watch the shimmer of sunlight on the water. I notice the way each wave builds quietly before bursting open. I appreciate the stillness between them.

    There’s beauty in those in-between moments too, the pauses between the noise.

    Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply sit and watch.
    You’ll never catch the perfect shot, and maybe that’s the point.

    It’s not about catching the moment — it’s about being there for it.


    The Entrepreneur’s Ocean

    Entrepreneurship can feel a lot like watching waves. One moment, everything’s calm — steady clients, steady flow, steady confidence. The next, the tide shifts. A new idea rushes in, or a plan you counted on crashes before it lands.

    And still, we show up.
    We adjust, breathe, and wait for the next wave.

    The ocean teaches something that no business book can:
    You can’t force momentum. You can only prepare your stance and trust your footing.

    When the wave comes, you ride it.
    When it doesn’t, you rest and watch.


    The Gift of Surrender

    There’s a strange peace that comes with letting go of control.
    Once I stop trying to expect the next wave, I notice how everything slows down. My breath slows, my mind calms, and even my heartbeat eases.

    It reminds me that presence isn’t passive. It’s an active choice to be here, now — not somewhere in the “what if.”

    The ocean doesn’t apologize for its unpredictability. It simply is.
    And maybe that’s what balance looks like. It’s about learning to move in rhythm with what’s unfolding. This is instead of fighting against it.


    A Lesson in Timing

    The afternoon sun glistens on the water. I look out and catch it just in time. A perfect, towering wave curls into gold. It’s magnificent, and this time, I don’t reach for my phone. I just watch.

    The foam curls, the light dances, and the moment passes — but not really.
    It’s still with me, imprinted deeper than any photo could have captured.

    The peace isn’t in freezing the moment.
    It’s in feeling it.


    The Takeaway

    Maybe we spend too much time trying to catch life instead of living it.
    Trying to control timing instead of trusting it. I also learned a lesson doesn’t end here — the ocean always finds another way to speak.

    The waves will keep coming, whether I’m ready or not. And maybe that’s the beauty of it. It’s knowing that everything meant for me will arrive when I’m here enough to get it.

    The waves come when they come.
    The peace is in being there when they do.


    Reflection Prompt

    Where in your life are you trying to control the timing instead of simply being present for the flow?


    Author’s Note

    This piece was one of three reflections that arrived on the same afternoon at Fort Ord State Beach. Each carried its own message. Yet, this one asked me to slow down. It encouraged me to look up from the screen. I needed to witness life as it was. I shouldn’t try to capture or control it.


    • If this reflection resonated with you, follow Sweet N Social. You will find more stories about presence, growth, and everyday lessons in motion.
    • Want the mini-conversation behind this reflection? Listen here
    • Join the Confident Strides community on Mighty Networks. Share what the waves are teaching you in your own life:  https://bit.ly/4i1fhx2

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

    #ConfidentStrides #GrowthInMotion #SweetNSocial #EntrepreneurMindset #LetItFlow #SimplicityIsPowerful


  • Confident Strides: The Podcast — Episode 1: Embracing Presence: Lessons from the Shore

    Confident Strides: The Podcast — Episode 1: Embracing Presence: Lessons from the Shore

    Episode Summary

    Confident Strides: The Podcast invites listeners to think about the value of attendance over perfection. This episode shares a personal story at Fort Ord State Beach. It explores how focusing on capturing moments can distract us. This distraction can prevent us from truly experiencing them. It highlights the importance of letting go, being existing, and finding confidence in the unpredictability of life’s waves.


    Show Notes

    In this episode, we walk through:

    • A full-circle moment years in the making
    • The tension between capturing a moment and living it
    • What the ocean teaches about timing, release, and acceptance
    • How presence builds confidence in unexpected ways
    • Why perfectionism often robs us of the very peace we’re seeking

    Key themes:

    • Presence over perfection
    • Letting go of control
    • Mindful movement
    • Personal growth in motion
    • Nature as a teacher

    Favorite Moment

    “The waves come when they come. The peace is in being there when they do.”


    Transcript

    Tonia Tyler (00:00)
    Welcome to Confidence Tries, the podcast. Quiet moments, powerful insights, a space to walk, reflect, and grow.

    Speaker (00:10)
    So picture this. I’m standing on this wide, quiet beach, phone in hand, just totally determined to snap the perfect wave. But every single time, I thought, this is it. The moment slipped right past me. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself after the third missed shot. That’s happened to me too, and it’s so frustrating. There’s that urge to capture something amazing. But while you’re busy fiddling with your phone,

    the thing you wanted to catch is already gone. It’s like you’re so focused on preserving the perfect memory, you end up missing out on actually experiencing it. Exactly. And then it hit me, how many of those moments have I let pass by? Just because I was too wrapped up in trying to control them, life’s got this wild way of rolling on, like those waves, whether we’re ready or not. What surprised me most is how much calmer things feel when you just let go of trying to capture it all. I mean,

    You stop chasing the perfect timing and just soak up what’s right in front of you, even if it’s messy or unpredictable. Totally. When I finally lowered my phone and just watched, it was this totally different experience. There was this one wave, tall and golden in the late sun. And for once I just took it in. No photo, no proof, just memory. Moments like that stick with you, don’t they? It almost feels freeing, not needing to hold on to everything or get every detail right.

    You get this sense of peace from just being present, even if you’re not capturing it for later. Yeah, and it makes me wonder how often we mistake control for confidence, if I can just get the shot or plan the outcome, then maybe everything will feel secure. But really, it’s the letting go where the real confidence is. Funny you say that, because every time I’ve tried to force things to go my way, it never quite works out. But when I just show up and let things unfold,

    That’s when I actually feel grounded. It’s a totally different kind of trust. One that’s about being present, not perfect. That actually reminds me how important it is to walk at your own pace. The ocean’s not rushing for anyone, and neither should we. There’s this quiet strength in just moving forward. Even if it doesn’t look picture perfect. Absolutely, and I think sometimes we need those reminders. You can’t control the waves, but you can choose to be there, fully.

    for whatever comes. That’s how real confidence grows step by step, right where you are.

    Tonia Tyler (02:41)
    Your path, your pace, your confidence.


    Reflection Prompt

    Where in your life are you trying so hard to capture the perfect moment that you’re missing the one right in front of you?


    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

  • Where Hesitation Meets Peace: A Walk in Muir Woods

    Where Hesitation Meets Peace: A Walk in Muir Woods

    I hadn’t planned on visiting Muir Woods that morning.

    I fed the dogs and ensured the house was in good shape. I checked my GPS on a whim. It was only about an hour away. I thought, why not? and decided to make the drive.

    To reach the park, you have to travel down a narrow, winding road for about four miles. The morning was blanketed in fog, and each curve felt a little eerie — beautiful, but unsettling. When I finally reached the bottom and pulled up to the entrance, I realized I had no signal. The park ranger explained that I needed a parking reservation. I would have to drive back up those same four miles to make one.

    So up I went again, through the same twists and turns. For a moment, I thought about not going through with it. The fog, the quiet, and those sharp curves made me nervous. But something in me said, you’ve come this far — follow through.

    At the top, I finally got a signal, made my reservation, and started back down. This time, the fog began to lift. Light filtered through the trees, and what had felt intimidating just minutes earlier now looked peaceful — almost welcoming.

    When I arrived, I parked and stood there for a moment, still unsure if I could handle the trail. Then I saw another woman moving gracefully along in her motorized scooter, smiling and taking in the view. That was all the reassurance I needed. If she could explore, I could walk.

    So I did. I walked about a mile into the forest, surrounded by redwoods that stretched higher than my thoughts. The air was cool and damp — that clean kind of damp with a hint of pine. I stood still, breathing it all in — grateful I hadn’t talked myself out of the experience.

    And crossing the Golden Gate Bridge to get there? That was its own quiet gift — a reminder that sometimes courage starts with a single, spontaneous yes.


    Reflection Prompt:

    When life asks you to travel the same winding road twice, what helps you keep going?

    And who reminds you — even without words — that you’re more capable than you think?


    Author’s Note:

    This reflection began as a spontaneous voice note during a California housesit. That winding road — and the woman in the scooter — reminded me that courage is often quiet. Keeping through isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence. Even when the fog hides the view, steady steps still lead to clarity.

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

    If this reflection spoke to you, follow Sweet N Social for future entries on creativity, courage, and walking through change.


    Want to listen to the mini-conversation this reflection?

    Listen here:https://confidentstridespodcast.com/?p=158

  • Grandma Has Got You

    Grandma Has Got You

    hand_reaching_out

    I love watching my granddaughter learn new things. She watches my husband and I so closely that she can usually pick up and copy what we do rather quickly. The word fear has no meaning to her at the ripe age of 18 months. I take her to the park and let her climb the playground play set. She climbs and jumps and runs with the big kids. I follow and closely standby just in case she reaches out for help.

    Just watching her play has taught me so much. Life is about enjoying the moment. I used to get caught up in thinking about past events or stressing over future ones that I missed the gift in being present. Life looks more vivid, more colorful when I stop and reflect on what is important at the moment. I don’t what to miss one smile, one laugh or one reach of my granddaughter’s hand. Vow to take time each day to reflect on what’s important, there is a gift to be seen.

    Photo Source: click here.

  • Start Here

    Start Here

    road to horizonEveryday we have to choice to focus on the positive or dwell on the negative. To everything there are two sides. The switch from negative to positive outlook is not easy but it is possible and it begins with your self-talk. Start here and fill in the blank…What’s the __ thing that can happen today? If your answered with BEST, congratulations!

    Photo credit: click here.

  • Why Argue?

    Why Argue?

    arguing-672x372I used to argue, fuss and fight to voice my opinion. Those days are long gone. People are quick to offer up opinions based on what “they” believe. For example, if someone says that something you want to do is “impossible” it is based on the opinion that it is impossible for “them”. Realizing this, instead of arguing, I allow folks to “keep” their opinion and I go about with my own. I just say “watch me!”

    Photo credit: click here.

  • Strength Finder

    Strength Finder

    Hand Checking Box Next To The Word StrengthIn life, the most precious gift we have been given is time so don’t waste it on contemplating what your “not” good at. Take time and take an inventory list of all the things you are good at. What make you you. Once you have your list, keep it handy. Life starts to open up when we play to our strengths, rather than your weaknesses.

    Photo credit: click here.

  • Expand Your Vision

    Expand Your Vision

    Develop a panoramic view of your life. In Stephen Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People he offers up the thought to begin with the end in mind. What is it you want to be remembered for? What do you want people to say about you? With a panoramic view you can take in so much more of life and develop into a bigger, more expanded version of yourself as well.

    Photo credit: click here.

  • Become a Master

    Become a Master

    looking-into-the-futureIn one of the books I read, it stated that we can not connect the dots unless we look back. Looking back is good once in a while, but your future is in front of you. Learn to reconcile and appreciate all of the events in your past because they have made you the person you are today. That means the choices you make today, will lead you to the person you wish to become tomorrow. How cool is that? You can become the master of your fate and the captain of your soul!

    Photo credit: click here.