This morning, I had to laugh at a moment that caught me by surprise. My son woke up early, moving around with an energy I hadn’t seen in a while. His wife was coming home from vacation, and he wanted everything to look just right.
Next thing I know, the bed is made perfectly — sheets tucked, pillows fluffed, everything neat and orderly. I just stood there thinking, Now wait a minute… when did he learn how to make a bed like that?
It made me smile. It reminded me how motivation has a funny way of showing up. It depends on who we’re doing something for. Sometimes we drag our feet when it’s just for ourselves. Yet, when love or excitement is involved, we suddenly become detail-oriented professionals.
And in that moment, I realized something else too. I may be in his house, but, I’m not the queen here. That title belongs to someone else now, and I couldn’t be prouder. Watching him take care, pay attention, and show love through small actions feels like one of those quiet moments. It’s a full-circle experience as a parent.
It’s a sweet reminder that growth shows up in the everyday. It seems in the beds made and the gestures of love. It is clear in the way we show up differently when it matters.
“No person is free who is not master of himself.” ― Epictetus
I was going to pass on answering the following Quora question because it was geared toward school but the more I thought about this question I realized, this is not only relevant for people in school but you can also have the same challenge at work. So I decided to post an answer and I am sharing it here with you.
How can I have more self-discipline? I never do homework and I’m not doing well in school because I’m lazy and have no self-discipline. – Quora
The first thing I would change is the label you identify yourself with. You are not lazy; you are just not enthusiastic about learning. It could be that you are bored, and you need other ways to stimulate your brain.
For instance, I don’t like learning about money or finances, but I love learning about how our brains work.
When you find something that gets you excited in learning new things, look for ways that you can apply that enthusiasm towards the challenging subjects. If you enjoy gaming, use it to reward yourself for doing something you don’t like. For example, if you study for an upcoming test, after the test reward yourself with extra gaming time.
We all have something that is challenging for ourselves, the key is to not beat yourself up. Find what you are good at and use it as a catalyst to help you through the challenges.
As I mentioned in the beginning, I have always struggled with managing my finances, but I am great at management my time. I had to learn how to use the same disciple principles I learn in managing my time and apply it towards managing my finances. It’s harder but the concept is the same. I just had to learn to make the connection.
Here are some other suggestions you can consider:
Everyone must overcome something to achieve their goals, read a few biographies and see how others overcame their challenges. Let their stories inspire you.
Change the way you talk about yourself and to yourself. Your words and thoughts carry great power.
Partner with others who help you become better. Join a study group or create one.
Set a goal for yourself. If you have something to aim for, you know when you are off track and can adjust when you are heading in the wrong direction.
The most important takeaway I would like to close out with is the give yourself some grace. Be patient and loving with who you are. You just haven’t found what gets you excited yet and that’s okay.
I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
Show up authentically and synergy will meet you there. ― Sanjo Jendayi
I started running about three months ago. I had been an avid walker for more that five years or more. I really have no clue as to where this is taking me. I simply love being out in nature and it’s a great way for me to find clarity and creativity.
What inspired me to start running? Well the same park I walk at is the same location that one of the local high school’s cross country team practices at. I remember on one Sunday morning, I saw a young man out running in the cross country course by himself. Wow!! This young man didn’t wait until the coach told him to practice or the rest of the team to be there, he just went out and did it.
We don’t need to get other people’s approval to do and be who we are. It’s nice to have a cheering section but sometimes the fans won’t show up until we do. What have you been wanting to do? Don’t wait, be like that young runner and go for it!
“Only those who stick around long enough to see the caterpillar turn into the butterfly actually get to witness the transformation.” ― Kristin Michelle Elizabeth
I love this quote because it reminds me that there will be people in and out of your lives constantly. I have been guilty of is worrying about those who didn’t stick around. Let it go! The past is just that, the past. Maybe, just maybe, their assignment was up and it was time for them, or you, to move on. Look for the blessing or the lesson and keep moving forward.
Worry about who isn’t in your life anymore, keeps us from appreciating those who are. This is nothing but a “period of transition”. For those who did not stay around to witness your transformation, wish them good will and release any negativity that may have surrounded their departure. Holding on to the negativity is like holding onto an anchor, it just holds you back. Everyone, including you are on our own journeys. All we can ever do is just keep crawling until it’s time to grow your wings and fly!
Each year brings a new adventure. This year, I decided to recommit myself to my network marketing business. Like many others, I associated negatively with network marketing. I never bothered to see if I was perhaps a contributing factor to past failures.
One of my goals has been to re-connect with people. I have been reaching out to people who are on my contact list to see if they are interested in coffee. This story is about a failed attempt. Here’s what happened:
Me: Coffee, next week?
Woman: No
Me: Thank you
Woman: For what?
Me: I appreciate you responding back.
Woman: Who is this?
Me: Tonia Tyler
Woman: Who
Me (I thought I knew her): I used to manage you social media account when I worked with …
Now, I am trying to remember if this is a person I met back in my PR days, so I look at her FB page.
Me: Pure Romance?
Woman: How old are you?
By now, I realize I definitely got her confused with someone else.
Me: Never mind. I realize you don’t know me so please forget it.
Woman: Okay
Woman: You are a creeper (something along those lines)
I almost decided to respond, but then I just deleted our text conversation and her contact information. I was one of those people who use to collect business card and fail to follow up. I know now that just because we don’t do business today, does not mean we might not do business later, if at all. It’s not about how many names you have on a list, it’s about the friends you make from your opportunities.
One of the best messages I read on the message board out side of the gym was “the only bad workout is the one you didn’t do”. That message is not only great for workouts but anything you choose not to do in life. The only bad book is the one you choose not to write, or the only bad song is the one you choose not to record.
I think about the messages I come across and can listen to now that’s available through YouTube. Whatever you have an interest in, you can find. I listen to speakers that no longer are with us but had great messages to share. Think about what you have been through in your life. Only you can share that story because only you have lived that life.
We all have a message and a story to share. I think you do the world a dis-service by not sharing you story. You might be the one with the cure for cancer. Don’t leave this thing we call life with your song still in you. Share your music with the world.
Some of my hardest “NO” have been said to others in order to say “YES” to myself. I used to get mad and frustrated when people would always ask for favors. I would wonder why was the only one they seemed to call, and get pissed off about it. Those were little grumblings trying to get my attention. The one person I did not seem to get mad with was myself. It was ME who made these people feel comfortable in asking because I was the one always saying yes. I started noticing the feeling that were generated when I would say yes and realized I was the one who had all of the control.
I love the quote by Les Brown who says “if you like what you are getting, keep doing what you are doing” I did not like what I was getting. When I said yes to others, I was saying not to my happiness. I am definitely not saying that we should not help others but sometimes you have to step back and really examine what you are saying yes to. Are you helping or are you enabling? There is a difference.
Take time out before committing to anyone whether you are helping or enabling that person. For me, once I learned the difference, I decide more carefully what I will say “YES” to. The grumbling deep down inside yourself is trying to tell you something. Take a moment to listen.
We are all mirrors for each of us to learn something about ourselves. One tool that helped me on my journey was the book “The Seven Habits of a Highly Effective Person” by Stephen Covey. In his book, he walks you through a funeral for yourself. The most profound question that moved me was, “What would you want people to most remember you for?”
Some of the qualities I want to be remembered for is being a generous, kind and caring person. The next question was, “What do I have to do today to achieve that?” The thing we all can do is determine those things we have the ability to change, or else we can work on our response to those things we can’t.
The last step is deciding to put into the actions that which will cultivate the qualities we desire to harness. If you want to receive more love, be loving. The more you are, the more you we attract. Life will start to reflect back to you on your progress. Don’t be afraid to look.
Anything worth value will take time and effort to cultivate. Like writing this blog post. I started writing several years ago. Writing has never been something I saw myself doing. I struggle on many occasions to come up with topic to discuss because like so many of us, I don’t think I am “smart” enough. The experts were once amateurs. It comes down to realizing that with practice, any of us can develop our skills in any area that we choose.
A friend of mine always says “the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thoughts”. If we hold onto “wormy” thoughts, such as I am not good enough, we will never transform into the beautiful butterfly that is within us. As with anything, pay attention to those thoughts. Awareness is the first step in self-creation. The second step is working to changing them.
The process may sound easy but the concept is not and I understand that. Best believe that changing your thoughts, will definitely change your life. And you are worth it.
My favorite quote is “how you do anything is how you do everything.” Its in those moments when I feel like giving up or simply thinking that no one will know the difference that this thought always comes to mind.
It is not true that no one will know the difference, YOU will! And that is the most important person it should mean the most to. Only you know the thoughts that are floating around in your head. The negative ones are the ones that keep you from living the kind of life you want to live. Its the thoughts that we feed on that create the reality of our lives.
Once I learned that little tidbit of information, I started to pay closer attention to the thoughts I had once let roam freely in my mind. I stand guard each day to the quality of thoughts that I will allow to enter my mind or even attempt to tiptoe in. I must admit that once I decided to take care of my mind like I take care of my body, life got a whole lot more generous!
Sweet N Social 