Sweet N Social

Tag: motivational

  • Are External Factors Affecting Your Success? My Guess Is Yes

    Are External Factors Affecting Your Success? My Guess Is Yes

    “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” ― Jordan Belfort

    Have you ever stopped doing something you enjoyed because you didn’t get likes, subscribers or followers you wanted? I want to talk about how we can manage the external sources of influence that keep us from creating the life we want.

    One day while I was running, I was thinking to myself that I would stop making Instagram Reels. The problem with that thinking is, I love making Instagram Reel videos. I love taking 10-second clips of video and turning it into a snippet of entertainment. I think that is why I have enjoyed learning how to make YouTube videos too.

    Back to the problem, I was getting frustrated because I was losing followers on my IG page and I automatically assume it was because of the videos. I also started criticizing myself for posting videos of the nature I would see on my walks which helps me to stay creative.

    I was ready to stop doing the one of the things that brings me joy because of external sources. In many cases we don’t know or will never know why people unfollow, unsubscribe, or unlike us, but our minds will search for reasons and that what was happening to me.

    Here’s what we have to keep in mind, their action have nothing to do with us. We are internalizing or trying to rationalize what someone else is thinking when we try to “guess” or “figure out” what made them take action without ever asking them directly. When we do this, nothing positive usually comes from this kind of thinking. We are our worst critiques!

    When we decide to stop doing the things we enjoy doing because of likes, subscribers, or followers we are measuring our success by the standards of others. These are what we call external sources of influences. Learning how to navigate these external sources of influences is key especially when it comes to honoring what it is that we enjoy doing and makes us happy.

    Here are a few suggestions that have helped me:

    Define what success looks like to you.

    Asking yourself what feeling are you after is a great place to start. Are you after happiness? Inner peace? Fulfillment? Then ask yourself, what kinds of activities bring me those kinds of feelings?

    When I started walking years ago, I was looking for inner peace during a chaotic period of my life. Nine years later, I still walk because I found the inner peace I was looking for in my life. I also lost weight and my marriage is much healthier and stronger too.

    Keep in mind why you started in the first place.

    Sometimes when we stop to reconnect with our why, we remember what was the motivating force behind starting in the first place.

    For instance, when I started my YouTube channel, I started it as a way to provide uplifting content to deal with the COVID shutdown. I asked some of the life coaches in my network if they would like to share some insight on how to deal with the COVID shutdown. My goal was not to become a YouTube Influencer.

    By always remembering why I started my channel it helps me to keep in perspective what I am doing it for so when I don’t get the likes, subscribers or comments I don’t have the desire to quit. I have stronger reason to keep going and that is like sprinkles on the cupcake. It also helps me to stay consistent in uploading my content. Whoever is looking for it, when they need it, can find it!

    Remember that You Matter.

    I think this one is the most important factor in all of this. You matter and your voice matters. Our experiences in life are not exclusively for you. It is for you to share the lessons you learned because of it.

    When we take time to learn the lessons along our journey, they can become the missing pieces to someone else’s puzzle. When we allow the external sources of influence to stop us, we are saying subconsciously, that we do not matter and what we experience in life is irrelevant. That is one of the biggest lies we can say to ourselves. You matter, your opinions matter and someone is waiting for your message in the big beautiful world of ours.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I invite you to check out my Instagram Reels and leave a comment. Feedback is always welcome.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/excuses

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/confidentstrides/

  • Making a Comeback

    “Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over.” ― Nicole Sobon

    I have been having the urge to write again. I guess it’s something that never really leaves you, perhaps life just causes you to stop and re-evaluate what’s important to you.

    A lot has changed since I first started writing this blog many years ago. I started a YouTube and Anchor podcast last year just before the COVID shutdown. I wanted to see what I could offer to the world during the shutdown. I was on a walk with my dogs when the thought of how we were going to manage this “new normal.” I just keep looking at Chloe who I didn’t really want and I just pondered how this dog ended up in my life. My elderly neighbor was placed in a nursing home and she had asked my to keep Chloe. Chloe would growl and my husband when he would give me a kiss before heading off to bed. Chloe sheds a lot too! But here I was, walking this dog and actually enjoying myself. That’s when I realized that no matter what happens in life, we are always going to face change. Change is inevitable! What makes the difference is how we react to the change that is right in front of us each day.

    Now back to my podcast idea, I raced home and decided to make an offer to the coaches in my network. What advice were they offering to their clients during this time of change? The whole premise of the podcast was to present positive insight by offering the coaches an opportunity to be interviewed by me. My first interview appeared on YouTube in March of 2020. A whole year later, I am still interviewing and sharing positive insight that’s being uploaded weekly.

    My purpose moving forward with this blog is a way to provide positive insight that I gathered through the interviews as well as the insight I get while running. I invite you to join me on this comeback journey.

    Quote Source https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/start-over

  • I Won the Jeep!

    I Won the Jeep!

    59720707_10218431886056543_4573895537492754432_oFor anyone who has followed my blogs over the past few years knows that I had an auto accident in 2013. It was a rainy Halloween night when I lost control of my BMW and hit the cement divider wall and totaled my car.  My BMW was my retirement gift to myself. My husband and I were going through some financial challenges at the time and my car was the only thing I refused to part with.

    I remember the evening well because it was the beginning of my spiritual journey.  That night of the accident was when I first noticed the tiny whispers of the Universe.  As I sat in the back seat of the police car, I remember a calming presence within that was saying everything is going to be alright. I remember thinking “God, you have my attention now!”

    Fast forward to 2019 and I am sitting in a huge convention center. My company is about to do a drawing for a 2019 Jeep Cherokee Trailhawk.  As I watch the tickets being mixed up, I am thinking my chances of winning is not looking good. There must have be thousands of pink raffle tickets being mixed up in the large clear rotating raffle drum. But I decided not to focus on that, instead I started thinking about how it would feel to be seated in the Jeep, taking in the new car smell.  I could hear them calling the numbers.  I started thinking, I’m still in the running as they called off the first four numbers. By the 6th number, I was thinking, the winning number is really close to one of my four tickets I had.  It wasn’t until they announced the name of the winner that it hit me…  I won!

    I believe that the Universe is always speaking to us.  My accident in 2013 was a wake up call to what life is trying to get me to notice. I make it a practice to stay present and enjoy the beautiful blessing that surround me.  I know this post can not express the sheer gratitude, faith and appreciation I have for such a loving, generous, and supportive Life Force, but what I want to say is Thank you!

     

  • Residue

    Residue

    Have you ever come a cross a person and once you leave you notice the feelings or thoughts that remain after your encounter with them.  Like for instance you have people who bring up feeling of peace. you may have people who bring out the excitement of possibilities. We even have those people who are like hurricanes that stir up feeling of anxiety and chaos.  I call this, residue.

    Like this we encounter, we also leave behind feeling and thoughts on others.  It wasn’t until I became more aware of my own conscious thoughts that I realize that we all are leaving a bit of ourselves everywhere we go.  We have the power to decide what kind of residue we want to leave others.  Granted, they may not always receive it as such.

    I learned through meditation that we can set our intentions daily and choose to be either the lighthouse or the storm. What kind of residue due you want to leave? The kind that people enjoy or the kind that people want to wash off.

  • All Present

    All Present

    I honestly think we can learn something new each day. The biggest challenge is usually staying present in the moment to notice.  I started getting out and reconnecting with friends.  What I often finding myself doing before we met up was worrying about what were going to say.  It’s at those moments when you have to tell that little voice inside to “be quiet.”  If you are present in the company of others, you can always find something to talk about.

    What does it mean to be present?  That’s always a great question when people ask me.  It’s giving the other person you undivided attention. I always like to define what it is by stating what it is not.  Let me give you some examples.  Being present is not worrying about what you could be doing with someone else. Being present is not scrolling through your phone when someone is sitting with you.  being present is not thinking about what you are going to do once you leave.  Being present is saying to the person you are with, that they are important enough to listen and let them be heard.

    Once I learned what it meant to be present, my marriage and all of my other relations greatly improved.  The power is in your hands. The one thing that is always in your control is yourself.

  • Live for Today

    Live for Today

    By the time this posts, I will have been to Missouri and back.  My family and I are heading to Ft Leonard Wood to see my son graduate from basic training.  I have been able to follow his training along through Facebook posts that the company has shared.  The closer we get to graduation, the more excited I am getting. I haven’t seen my son in over two months, so even if it’s just for two days, the seven hour drive is worth it.

    Last night, just before I went to bed, thinking about seeing my son had me thinking about those who have lost loved ones. I lost my mother over fourteen years ago.  I miss her but I am not “lost” without her.  We had a wonderful relationship and I told her everything.  I was able to talk with her the day before she died, and after all of the years that have passed, I still remember my last words to her, “Mom, get some rest. I love you.”

    That memory reminds me that I must never take anything or anyone for granted.  It’s not about how long we live but how we live that matters.  Let those who are close to you know that they matter and how much you love them.  No one is promised tomorrow so learn to live today!

  • Hit The Light Switch

    Hit The Light Switch

    I have to say the most profound changes in my life happened when I decided to take my life off autopilot. I began to question some of the beliefs that I had held on to for years.  In the beginning it was the small things that I began to ponder like why do I drink coffee with my breakfast, to eventually leading to my bigger questions, like how do I really feel about marriage. Some of the answers I received in return shocked me.

    Awareness is the definitely key to change.  Effective and long lasting change has to come from something deeper then just wanting it. Taking time out to understand the driving force, the “why” behind the change is what makes it really take hold.  To me, awareness was like switching on a light switch and looking for the cobwebs within the room.  What I found were old beliefs and outdated actions that no longer served their purpose.  Imagine what you will find when you begin to look inside yourself.  The answers just might surprise you.

  • Goal Analysis

    Goal Analysis

    Like so many people, I struggle with getting things done, especially if it makes me feel like work to me.  It’s a real struggle especially when I retired from the military years ago.  I battle with laziness.  I know if I can admit it, I am recognizing it, and ultimately I can change it. Like a cost analysis, I assess my productivity by conducting a goal analysis.  Its simple. Let me explain.

    On many occasions for instance, I love to run to my favorite book buying spot to browse the books. I use browsing loosely because I can always find something to buy.  I have many books at home, not to mention a library reading list that will definitely take time to read through. What I have to do for myself is redirect my impulse to run to the store towards something that will actually get me closer to creating a legacy for my family.  I know that just buying more books will not get me there.

    Awareness is the first key to conducting my analysis.  I ask myself this: “is what I want to do going to get me closer or father away from my goal?” If the answer is no, the next question is: “what action can I do right now, that will?” I realize it just a simple matter of redirecting my energy and focus into more productive activities that will get me closer to what I want to achieve in life rather than what I want to buy throughout life.

  • Bible Study

    Bible Study

    I love learning something new. To me, it keeps life interesting.  My reading journey started about five years ago when I was going through a transitional period in my life. I never really had a desire for reading but at this particular time in my life I was looking for answers.  I started out reading spiritual books. When I would see the scriptures in the books I wanted to know if the Bible matched the context in which it was being used.  I guess you could call it “fact checking”.  I found myself  reading the Bible more and started to come to my own sense of understanding, my own Truth, of the parables.

    You never know where the journey will take you. Fast forward, two years later, as I began to work with a new direct selling company, I pondered who I could market my products to. My daughter had just had a baby and I was planning on watching my granddaughter when my daughter returned to work. The traditional networking avenues I was familiar with were no longer an option.  My creativity kicked in one day when a Jehovah Witness  stopped by to visit my home. They came to share their good news.  I thought to myself I could share mine too.  That one visit turned into several.  They visited with me for over six months.

    What I learned during those visits had to do more with how I interacted with others as we discussed a the hot topic of religion.  I learned its okay to not only agree or disagree, but to express myself without threatening someone else’s belief. We are all entitled to out opinions. Someone else’s belief does not diminish who you are.

  • Take That Step

    Take That Step

    I know I’ve talked about this topic before but I think its worth visiting again.  The kind of effective long lasting change comes with taking one step in a new direction and being committed enough to it until it becomes a habit.  It doesn’t matter the area that you want to change. For example, in relationships, choosing to say I’m sorry to another even if you feel they were wrong. It all comes down to evaluating how important, whatever it is that you want to change, is to you.

    My journey began with taking physical walks. I was so stressed out financially, the walks were relief. I just wanted to find some peace.  Six years later, I still walk and I still find peace. As my passion for walking continues to grow it helps in bring about change in other areas of my life.  Your journey may begin by reading a book, reading a scripture or riding a bike, no matter what it is, stay with it until it becomes a must.