We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. – Lynn Hall
I just came back from an eleven day trip that took me to Dallas, Los Angeles and San Francisco. I spent some much needed time with family in San Francisco. I had a chance to step back from my work and see where I was headed. I was getting frustrated not at my clients but with myself.
Each week I try to share a lesson learned. This week I learned the power of clarity. When I stated my business a few years ago, I really had no clue in the direction I wanted to take. I had this great notion that I wanted to be of service and basically that’s all I really understood. I started managing social media sites for clients that needed help building their audience. I did not have any set price or service plan in mind. I worked hard on building a relationship with my clients and I can honestly say that it worked for me in the beginning.
I would say it took about a year for a frustration to set in. I felt like the clients were taking advantage of my kindness, but I would never address this concern. It wasn’t until recently that I realized it wasn’t my clients that were taking advantage of me, it was that I didn’t value myself to raise the standard.
Lessons Learned:
- Be clear about what you will or will not do.
People are not mind readers. They will not give you more of anything unless you ask. In the same token, it’s their right whether they choose to continue to work with you or not. It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.
- It’s ok to say no.
Sometimes people will respect you more for being honest in what you won’t do instead of saying yes and botching it up. If you know in your heart you don’t want to take on a particular project, just say so. You have the right to say no in the beginning.
- You can change your mind.
It’s ok to change your mind. It truly means you are growing. There is nothing that says you can’t change your mind. Figure out what works and change what’s not. Don’t beat yourself up!
Not everyone will like the change, but the empowerment you will gain is priceless.
Quote source: http://www.quotegarden.com/change.htm
It was December of 2011, I was listening to Katy Perry’s “Firework “on my way to work and was balling like a big old baby. I knew I had to make a change in my life but I was a wife and a mother of three with financial obligations. Something said you can’t keep living like this, you are miserable with you job. I finally got the nerve up to go into Human Resources and put my two weeks’ notice in. I had no real idea what I planned on doing but one thing for sure was I was not going to keep working the same job I had done for almost 25 years through the military and private sector. Many people offered their opinions about my actions but for some strange reason, I felt I was where I needed to be doing exactly what it was I was doing. At that time I didn’t know that some people would call that a “calling”. My life hit some rough patches during 2012 through 2013. It wasn’t until 2014 that things started to fall into place. By now, I had my social media business for 2 years with no real growth. You may be asking yourself, how is that falling into place? Let me explain.
During that time we both were in a transitional period of our lives. He signed on with me in 2013 as a client. He had asked me to trust him and that he would do all that we could do to make his dreams come true and that if he made it, we both would make it. I committed myself to support his dreams by doing what I did best, helping him with his social media presence.
I know I am not where I want to be in career but I can honestly say I’m enjoying the journey.
Did you also know you can control how you say something, the way you say something and even when you say something? What you cannot control is how someone will react, what someone thinks or what the other person is feeling. That thought alone has been the biggest game changer in my life.
I had a layover in Dallas. The plane was late taking off in LA which of course would affect my time in Dallas. When we arrived in Dallas, I had about 30 minutes to make my connecting flight. Low and behold, the plane was not able to pull into the gate because there was still another plane parked at it. By the time we were parked and the gateway was in place, I had about 15 minutes to get off. By now, reality was setting in and there was a very high probability I wasn’t going to make my connecting flight. Got off the plane had to go to another terminal and so, I knew I wasn’t going to make it in time. I missed my flight to LA just days before. Got to the gate, boarding had ended. I knew I wasn’t going to make it and I still got mad. Here is where mindfulness played a big role in how I quickly was able to get a handle on my emotions. I realized, I didn’t want to attract any negative attitude from the ticket agent. It wasn’t her fault I missed the plane but I needed her help to resolve my issue. I was able to quickly get a hold of my anger. I realized by missing the flight, I had a chance to relax and grab something to eat before my next flight. I also took advantage of the yoga area. All things worked out. I had a pleasant flight into Cincinnati.
and process what’s important. Most of the time the situation is not really as bad as our minds makes it out to be. Since, I have been able to put my game changing insight to work, my relationship with my daughter has also improved (despite the fact, she still doesn’t have her license). I know all things will work out in the end.
My relationship with my children improved. Last summer, I implemented a mandatory “unwind time” for everyone. It was something very similar to a tech-free time out, no electronics, cell phones, TV or radio for two hours each night during the weekday. During the two hours, we would play card games, take walks or just simply sit outside on the deck and talk. I must admit, I had trouble turning off the phone in the beginning but as time went on; the kids would come and sit down in the living room without being called to join in. They actually looked forward to hanging out with me again.
I know now that I have the power to make better and smarter choices for the kind of life I wish to live. I learned that no one can steal your joy when it comes from deep within. 
One year ago today, I was involved in a car accident. It was a rainy Halloween night, so we didn’t have many “trick or treaters” come to the house. I didn’t have to rush out to pick up my husband from work that night, and since it was raining I knew I had to take a little extra time to make it there. Before I got on the highway, I was on my cell phone talking with a friend and I remember saying I needed to get off and concentrate on the road. She said be safe!
I was checked out by the EMT’s and then placed in the police car until the tow truck showed up. As I sat in the police car, a calming presence came over me and I knew everything was going to be alright.
Most of the time they are on the pond or on the lake. On a few occasions these birds are close to the walking trail or crossing it. As I come up on them, my heart starts racing and fear of them attacking me comes to mind.
My names are not meant to be harmful to these birds in any way. My names are meant as a visual reference for the fears generated in my mind. Instead of the sign saying “Caution Feeding Wildlife Can Be Harmful” I see “Caution Feeding Your Fears Can Be Harmful. For instance, in the picture above, I would name these birds confusion, worry, criticism and doubt. By giving the geese these names, I started learning to recognize the emotions that fear generates inside. By feeling and accepting the racing heart beat and the nervousness that arises, I recognize these are feelings of fear. It’s not that the fear will disappear, it is the fact that I have to feel the fear, breathe and keep on moving.
Now that it is starting to get colder here, it is getting harder to get my body moving. I’ve pushed my morning walks back from the 7 am to 10 am already. With the thought of the cold air and having to bundle up, leave more time for the “I’m not going to the park today” attitude to creep in. By 10 am, I have had my coffee and I get the feeling I can make it through the day without walking. Its not until the thoughts of self-doubt raise up that I know I should have chosen otherwise.
Its the bridge. I call it the “don’t take it with you” bridge. There are eight observation areas built in along the bridge so you can stop and stand and not be in any one’s way.
I love watching them interact with each other. It’s like they are so carefree. I never really paid much attention to nature the way I have this year. I must admit that I have learned so much by just watching the birds play and the flowers bloom. There seems to be a natural rhythm that flows all around us. Just when you see one group of flowers die off, another new batch of them bloom up.
Sweet N Social 
