Tag: personal development

Period of Transition

“Only those who stick around long enough to see the caterpillar turn into the butterfly actually get to witness the transformation.” ― Kristin Michelle Elizabeth

I love this quote because it reminds me that there will be people in and out of your lives constantly. I have been guilty of is worrying about those who didn’t stick around. Let it go! The past is just that, the past. Maybe, just maybe, their assignment was up and it was time for them, or you, to move on. Look for the blessing or the lesson and keep moving forward.

Worry about who isn’t in your life anymore, keeps us from appreciating those who are. This is nothing but a “period of transition”. For those who did not stay around to witness your transformation, wish them good will and release any negativity that may have surrounded their departure. Holding on to the negativity is like holding onto an anchor, it just holds you back. Everyone, including you are on our own journeys. All we can ever do is just keep crawling until it’s time to grow your wings and fly!

Photo Source: click here / Quote Source: click here.

November 21, 2019
Care to Dance?

I started taking salsa classes a few weeks ago. It’s the type of salsa that requires working with a partner. I am not usually the lead partner which has been a struggle for me. They teach us the basic steps and then when we are partnered up, I am to “mirror” my partner. Last week we had a practice session. I learned one of the most valuable lessons, not only to dancing, but in life.

As one of the gentleman asked me to dance, I informed him that is was my first lesson. He smiled and we started to dance. I focused on counting my steps and made lots of missteps and mistakes. My partner smiled and told me to close my eyes. He said feel the rhythm and trust me. I closed my eyes and I tried not to anticipate the steps I just listened to the beat and let my partner lead. It was so much fun! That’s when I understood:

“Life is the dancer and you are the dance.” -Eckhart Tolle

Maybe it is us who causes our own stumbles and missteps. Perhaps we need to learn to let go of our need for control, close our eyes and listen to the rhythm. Life is always asking you, “Care to Dance?”

Quote Source: Eckhart Tolle Quote

May 6, 2019
Creeping Through My List

Each year brings a new adventure. This year, I decided to recommit myself to my network marketing business. Like many others, I associated negatively with network marketing. I never bothered to see if I was perhaps a contributing factor to past failures.

One of my goals has been to re-connect with people. I have been reaching out to people who are on my contact list to see if they are interested in coffee. This story is about a failed attempt. Here’s what happened:

Me: Coffee, next week?

Woman: No

Me: Thank you

Woman: For what?

Me: I appreciate you responding back.

Woman: Who is this?

Me: Tonia Tyler

Woman: Who

Me (I thought I knew her): I used to manage you social media account when I worked with …

Now, I am trying to remember if this is a person I met back in my PR days, so I look at her FB page.

Me: Pure Romance?

Woman: How old are you?

By now, I realize I definitely got her confused with someone else.

Me: Never mind. I realize you don’t know me so please forget it.

Woman: Okay

Woman: You are a creeper (something along those lines)

I almost decided to respond, but then I just deleted our text conversation and her contact information. I was one of those people who use to collect business card and fail to follow up. I know now that just because we don’t do business today, does not mean we might not do business later, if at all. It’s not about how many names you have on a list, it’s about the friends you make from your opportunities.

January 7, 2019
All Present

I honestly think we can learn something new each day. The biggest challenge is usually staying present in the moment to notice. I started getting out and reconnecting with friends. What I often finding myself doing before we met up was worrying about what were going to say. It’s at those moments when you have to tell that little voice inside to “be quiet.” If you are present in the company of others, you can always find something to talk about.

What does it mean to be present? That’s always a great question when people ask me. It’s giving the other person you undivided attention. I always like to define what it is by stating what it is not. Let me give you some examples. Being present is not worrying about what you could be doing with someone else. Being present is not scrolling through your phone when someone is sitting with you. being present is not thinking about what you are going to do once you leave. Being present is saying to the person you are with, that they are important enough to listen and let them be heard.

Once I learned what it meant to be present, my marriage and all of my other relations greatly improved. The power is in your hands. The one thing that is always in your control is yourself.

December 17, 2018
Plan Your Life
I find that the more disciplined I am in certain areas of my life, the more freedom I find in other areas. I schedule my daily calendar with habits I want to maintain. For instance, I try and practice daily meditation, reading and journaling. Just maintaining the calendar is a discipline. For the most part, I know in my head what I have on my calendar out in my head but I have found that having it to refer back to at times helps me to maintain those habits.

When I first started keeping a daily calendar, the purpose was to coordinate my daily activities around schedule appointment times with “clients.” The funny thing is, I didn’t have any clients. I slowly began to realize that the calendar wasn’t for scheduling time for others, it was for scheduling time for myself.

I learned three valuable lessons:
1. My calendar is a constant reminder to coordinate the kinds of habits I find important to living a happy and fulfilled life.
2. Schedule the kind of activities that will ensure that you DO what is important to you and for you.
3. If we don’t schedule time for what we want, we will never accomplish what we want because we think we don’t have time.
In the great words of the late Jim Rohn, “learn to work harder on yourself, than you do on the job.” With a calendar, it’s possible.
December 4, 2018
The Grumbles

Some of my hardest “NO” have been said to others in order to say “YES” to myself. I used to get mad and frustrated when people would always ask for favors. I would wonder why was the only one they seemed to call, and get pissed off about it. Those were little grumblings trying to get my attention. The one person I did not seem to get mad with was myself. It was ME who made these people feel comfortable in asking because I was the one always saying yes. I started noticing the feeling that were generated when I would say yes and realized I was the one who had all of the control.

I love the quote by Les Brown who says “if you like what you are getting, keep doing what you are doing” I did not like what I was getting. When I said yes to others, I was saying not to my happiness. I am definitely not saying that we should not help others but sometimes you have to step back and really examine what you are saying yes to. Are you helping or are you enabling? There is a difference.

Take time out before committing to anyone whether you are helping or enabling that person. For me, once I learned the difference, I decide more carefully what I will say “YES” to. The grumbling deep down inside yourself is trying to tell you something. Take a moment to listen.

November 26, 2018
Look Into The Mirror

We are all mirrors for each of us to learn something about ourselves. One tool that helped me on my journey was the book “The Seven Habits of a Highly Effective Person” by Stephen Covey. In his book, he walks you through a funeral for yourself. The most profound question that moved me was, “What would you want people to most remember you for?”

Some of the qualities I want to be remembered for is being a generous, kind and caring person. The next question was, “What do I have to do today to achieve that?” The thing we all can do is determine those things we have the ability to change, or else we can work on our response to those things we can’t.

The last step is deciding to put into the actions that which will cultivate the qualities we desire to harness. If you want to receive more love, be loving. The more you are, the more you we attract. Life will start to reflect back to you on your progress. Don’t be afraid to look.

November 19, 2018
The Transformation

Anything worth value will take time and effort to cultivate. Like writing this blog post. I started writing several years ago. Writing has never been something I saw myself doing. I struggle on many occasions to come up with topic to discuss because like so many of us, I don’t think I am “smart” enough. The experts were once amateurs. It comes down to realizing that with practice, any of us can develop our skills in any area that we choose.

A friend of mine always says “the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thoughts”. If we hold onto “wormy” thoughts, such as I am not good enough, we will never transform into the beautiful butterfly that is within us. As with anything, pay attention to those thoughts. Awareness is the first step in self-creation. The second step is working to changing them.

The process may sound easy but the concept is not and I understand that. Best believe that changing your thoughts, will definitely change your life. And you are worth it.

November 12, 2018
Apple Juice

I love watching my granddaughter grow up because as she is learning, I’m still learning through her. The latest lesson came from watching her transition from the bottle to the sippy cup. We have been trying to introduce juices to her through the sippy cup instead of just giving in and giving her the bottle when she asks for it.

I would put the apple juice in a small cup and offer it to her after she finished eating her breakfast. She would push the cup away or throw it while still asking for her bottle. I couldn’t even get her to take a sip. I slowly began to realize we were tackling two different issues; new cup and new juice. We would have to change our strategy. Slowly we would offer water in the sippy cup and she would drink it. Once she became more comfortable with the sippy cup we would offer apple juice in the cup. Once she started taking the apple juice we offered milk in the sippy cup as well.

It wasn’t until we noticed that everything can’t be offered at once. It takes “baby steps” in order to change. This practice is one I always have to remind myself as I try and implement new habits. As my granddaughter reminded me, do not give me “change” all at once, offer me a “little change” at a time.

October 29, 2018
Not Today!

My favorite quote is “how you do anything is how you do everything.” Its in those moments when I feel like giving up or simply thinking that no one will know the difference that this thought always comes to mind.

It is not true that no one will know the difference, YOU will! And that is the most important person it should mean the most to. Only you know the thoughts that are floating around in your head. The negative ones are the ones that keep you from living the kind of life you want to live. Its the thoughts that we feed on that create the reality of our lives.

Once I learned that little tidbit of information, I started to pay closer attention to the thoughts I had once let roam freely in my mind. I stand guard each day to the quality of thoughts that I will allow to enter my mind or even attempt to tiptoe in. I must admit that once I decided to take care of my mind like I take care of my body, life got a whole lot more generous!

October 22, 2018