Sweet N Social

Tag: personal growth

  • Are External Factors Affecting Your Success? My Guess Is Yes

    Are External Factors Affecting Your Success? My Guess Is Yes

    “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” ― Jordan Belfort

    Have you ever stopped doing something you enjoyed because you didn’t get likes, subscribers or followers you wanted? I want to talk about how we can manage the external sources of influence that keep us from creating the life we want.

    One day while I was running, I was thinking to myself that I would stop making Instagram Reels. The problem with that thinking is, I love making Instagram Reel videos. I love taking 10-second clips of video and turning it into a snippet of entertainment. I think that is why I have enjoyed learning how to make YouTube videos too.

    Back to the problem, I was getting frustrated because I was losing followers on my IG page and I automatically assume it was because of the videos. I also started criticizing myself for posting videos of the nature I would see on my walks which helps me to stay creative.

    I was ready to stop doing the one of the things that brings me joy because of external sources. In many cases we don’t know or will never know why people unfollow, unsubscribe, or unlike us, but our minds will search for reasons and that what was happening to me.

    Here’s what we have to keep in mind, their action have nothing to do with us. We are internalizing or trying to rationalize what someone else is thinking when we try to “guess” or “figure out” what made them take action without ever asking them directly. When we do this, nothing positive usually comes from this kind of thinking. We are our worst critiques!

    When we decide to stop doing the things we enjoy doing because of likes, subscribers, or followers we are measuring our success by the standards of others. These are what we call external sources of influences. Learning how to navigate these external sources of influences is key especially when it comes to honoring what it is that we enjoy doing and makes us happy.

    Here are a few suggestions that have helped me:

    Define what success looks like to you.

    Asking yourself what feeling are you after is a great place to start. Are you after happiness? Inner peace? Fulfillment? Then ask yourself, what kinds of activities bring me those kinds of feelings?

    When I started walking years ago, I was looking for inner peace during a chaotic period of my life. Nine years later, I still walk because I found the inner peace I was looking for in my life. I also lost weight and my marriage is much healthier and stronger too.

    Keep in mind why you started in the first place.

    Sometimes when we stop to reconnect with our why, we remember what was the motivating force behind starting in the first place.

    For instance, when I started my YouTube channel, I started it as a way to provide uplifting content to deal with the COVID shutdown. I asked some of the life coaches in my network if they would like to share some insight on how to deal with the COVID shutdown. My goal was not to become a YouTube Influencer.

    By always remembering why I started my channel it helps me to keep in perspective what I am doing it for so when I don’t get the likes, subscribers or comments I don’t have the desire to quit. I have stronger reason to keep going and that is like sprinkles on the cupcake. It also helps me to stay consistent in uploading my content. Whoever is looking for it, when they need it, can find it!

    Remember that You Matter.

    I think this one is the most important factor in all of this. You matter and your voice matters. Our experiences in life are not exclusively for you. It is for you to share the lessons you learned because of it.

    When we take time to learn the lessons along our journey, they can become the missing pieces to someone else’s puzzle. When we allow the external sources of influence to stop us, we are saying subconsciously, that we do not matter and what we experience in life is irrelevant. That is one of the biggest lies we can say to ourselves. You matter, your opinions matter and someone is waiting for your message in the big beautiful world of ours.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I invite you to check out my Instagram Reels and leave a comment. Feedback is always welcome.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/excuses

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/confidentstrides/

  • What is One Way to Create Good Habits That Stick? Be Intentional

    What is One Way to Create Good Habits That Stick? Be Intentional

    “If you are not consciously building your habits, they are unconsciously building you.” 
    ― Anika J. Green

    Quora Question: What is one way to create good habits that stick?

    I would like to begin by answering this question by saying, take an assessment of what you are doing right now. Pay attention to the types of activities you do right now because without knowing where you are, you won’t be able to know if you are heading in the right direction once you start. 

    There is a little tiny “GPS” in all of us that knows what we need and what we want, but for some reason, we turned the volume off or never even tried to turn it on in the first place.  

     My first bit of advice is to get still and listen for that small, tiny voice or start paying attention to what makes your heart sing.  These are clues that your soul is sending to us, and we must start listening otherwise the activities we try to incorporate into our lives will not stick. 

    Depending where you are on your personal development journey, there are things we can implement that can help us become better listeners.  I would like to offer a few suggestions here:

    1. Go for a daily walk.  You can start off with a 5 or 10-minute walk around your neighborhood or at a local park.  The point of starting is to make it simple and doable.  
    2. Start a gratitude journal.  When you write, you are making your thoughts visible.  You can’t write something without first thinking about it. Again, start small with maybe 3-5 things you are grateful for each day or once a week.
    3. Meditate.  Shut your devices off and sit quietly for 5-10 minutes. 

    These activities are great for helping to turn your personal, inner GPS system back on or helping you to adjust the volume back up. 

    What I have learned through my own personal journey is that what we do is influenced by what we believe is possible for ourselves.  This is where the inner “GPS” practices I mentioned above can come in handy.  By honestly assessing where we are mentally, emotionally, and physically, we can then determine what is working for us and what we need to change. 

    Here are some great questions to ask yourself that can help in your assessment:

    1. Who am I and who do I want to become? 
    2. What do I believe about myself and is it true?
    3. What kind of activity will help me to become this kind of person?
    4. What kind of person do I want to be know for?

    The bottom line is this… we are creatures of habits! We create all kinds of habits all of the time just by doing things, sometimes on purpose, and sometimes by accident. Habits become what we do without even having to think it. It takes a lot of energy to think and that is why our brains looks for ways to save energy. So, to create positive habits that stick, you must become intentional.  That means we must get our brains to wake up and think again about what we are doing. Bad habits can be formed just as easily as good habits. The difference is the kind of person you want to be identified as because of that activity. Runners run. Readers read. Creators create.

    Who do you want to be?

    Thinking is the magic ingredient that helps habits stick.  The key to implementing the kind of change to create the desired habits is to be intentional and make our activities small, simple, and doable until they become automatic.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/intentional-living

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • How Being Mindful of Our Actions Has a Powerful Affect Others

    How Being Mindful of Our Actions Has a Powerful Affect Others

    “Looking at beauty in the world, is the first step of purifying the mind.” ― Amit Ray

    For the past few weeks there have been signs that spring is right around the corner. Watching the flower stems produce the buds is exciting because it signifies the end of winter, and this is great news for me here in Ohio.

    I noticed two flowers had bloomed along the wood line, so I know they were not planted there. On a couple of occasions, I would walk over to the patch and take pictures of what I would call “the natural beauties.” I event captured them on video as they were tossed around by the crisp morning air. I never had a desire to pick them, but as a child I would have.  

    This morning, as I ran by the flower patch, the flowers were gone. Someone had picked them and the first thought I had was how rude and selfish of them to do such a thing. I was a little disappointed in not seeing the flowers. I felt that whoever picked them was only thinking of themselves and not considering how picking those flowers would affect someone else.  

    What a different world it would be if we all truly took a moment to think about how our actions might affect someone else!

    This made me stop and think about some of my recent actions and how they may have affected others.  It’s in these very moments like this that make me really take notice of what I do. I have come to learn that if some type of emotion is triggered with in me by someone else’s actions, there is something that I can learn from.

    I realized I can be impulsive and inconsiderate of other people’s feelings, and I don’t always stop and consider the ramifications of my actions, but with self-awareness comes new insight and new behaviors. Life is always offering us an opportunity to learn and grow even if someone cuts the flowers.  

    Taking a moment before we speak, or act can make a huge difference in all our relationships whether it is with ourselves, with others or with the world.

    What I learned from this morning’s walk is this:

    • Don’t be so hard on others. 
    • Don’t be so hard on myself too.

    We are all doing the best with what we know at our own level of consciousness. Awareness is key!

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/mindfulness

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • Does a Penny Still Have Value? Yes. So Pick them up off the Ground

    Does a Penny Still Have Value? Yes. So Pick them up off the Ground


    “Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.” ― Marie Curie

    Quora Question: When you see a coin on the ground, do you pick it up or leave it there?

    While I was on my morning run this morning, I saw a penny laying on the ground and I initially ran over it without picking it up. I usually pick up pennies and I don’t worry about if it is face up or not. I don’t believe in the superstition about heads or tails.  I had a nagging feeling to turn around and pick it up and that is what I did.

    I didn’t always stop to pick up pennies until I relieved it’s a form of currency no matter what.  I have heard some people say that the penny is worthless.  I don’t believe that’s necessarily true. There are 100 pennies in one dollar and 100,000 pennies in 1,000 dollars.  The key is to remember that each penny adds up to something. It always comes down to your perception of what equates to value.

    Here is another way to look at this…

    Over the past few years, I have come to believe that each one of us has a message, a gift, or an experience to share with the world.  Our ideas are the sparks that lead us on the path of discovery.  If you believe you have nothing to offer, you have no desire to explore what’s hidden deep down inside of you.  If you do believe you have something of value to offer, we put in effort to discover what it is.  We look for ways to share that message or story once we find it.  Some of create businesses.  Some of us write books or publish blogs. Some of us hop on podcasts or other social media channels because we want our messages and ideas out there in the world. 

    So where am I going with this… 

    Our ideas are the pennies that add value to the collective whole. Think about YouTube, if there was only one channel on the whole platform, it wouldn’t be one of the most searched platforms for entertainment or educational tools. It wouldn’t be considered “YouTube University” for sure!  YouTube doesn’t add content, it manages the content that we provide and makes a nice profit from it.  The ideas of the individuals who upload to the platform is what makes YouTube valuable!  In other words, there are more than 100,000,000,000 ideas (pennies) that help pull in the 1.8 billion subscribers of YouTube.  

    Every penny has a value, just as every person matters and we all add to the collective whole.  When we can see the value in each of our experiences, we will stop leaving the pennies on the ground, and or ideas un-explored.  Each of our experiences in life provide ideas and lessons that the world can use.  These ideas and beliefs help shape who you are and when we stop, collect them, and add them up, we may just realize how valuable we are because of them.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag?utf8=✓&id=ideas

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • Examine Your Motives First: How to Develop a Positive Attitude

    Examine Your Motives First: How to Develop a Positive Attitude

    “It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” ― Dale Carnegie

    I love choosing questions from Quora to answer. I chose this question about how to develop a positive attitude towards reading, but you can apply this principle to just about any thing we do, so feel free to check out my answer below.

    How can I develop a positive attitude towards reading?-Quora

    I did not invest in reading books until I reached my forties. I never had a real desire to pick up a book until I was going through a difficult period in my life.  I wanted answers and so I turned to books for answers, answers that my friends could not help me with.  

    I think when you take time out to examine why you do anything is the key to determining how you feel about doing it in the first place. So many times, we just jump in and start doing things without examining the “why” behind it.  

    • Are you doing it because it is popular?
    • Are you doing it to fit in?
    • Are you doing it because someone else told you that you should?
    • Are you doing it because you want to learn something, and you feel drawn to do it?

    The intention behind the activity will help you either stay motivated to continue or eventually cause you to fizzle out.

    Here are some suggestions I would like to offer:

    1. Before diving into anything, take a moment to think about why you are about do it in the first place.  Be honest with yourself and if you need to, write it out. What do you hope to gain?
    2. If it is something you must put money into it, place a cushion between the thought and the action. That helps to reduce impulsive actions. 
    3. Regarding reading, you can look for free resources before committing to any kind of subscription or purchasing books that you might not even want to read after you buy them.  This reduces the emotional energy and guilt that comes with buyer’s remorse. 
    4. Connect with other readers and create or join a book club. It’s always more fun when others get involved.  
    5. Don’t feel like you must stick with one genre.  Lessons can be found anywhere when you are looking for them.

    Whether you are looking to create a reading habit, workout regiment, or jump into a new career, take a moment to examine your intentions behind the action.  By taking a moment to understand the driving force behind our desires, we are also preparing ourselves for the obstacles and the resistance that will inevitably come with that change. 

    In all that you do, the key to achieving your desired goal is your mental attitude towards obtaining that goal. With a positive mental attitude, you will become unstoppable!

    I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/attitude

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • Focus on You – Ways on How to Be Better Person

    Focus on You – Ways on How to Be Better Person

    “It is less about becoming a better person, and more of being better, as a person.” ― J.R. Rim

    How can I be better for myself and my partner? – Quora

    My relationships got better when I stopped trying to change my partner and focused on changing myself.  My husband and I have been married now for fifteen years.  I had been married twice before.  This marriage was heading towards divorce too until I got an epiphany on a walk one day where I asked myself, “what has all of these marriages have in common?”  The answer was ME!

    I went from relationship to relationship never taking time out to figure out who I was. I was carrying baggage from one relationship to another without taking time to unpack from the last relationship.  

    This marriage would have ended too if I hadn’t learned that I can’t change others, the only person I have control over is myself.  

    I started reading books on spirituality to personal development, including books on personal relationships.  I started asking myself questions like, “what or how have I contributed to the marriage breakdowns?”  Looking back now, I realized, I really didn’t know what love was. Learning about self-care was an eye-opener!   

    During that time in my life, I started to learn more about what I liked and didn’t like. I learned about forgiveness not only for my ex-husbands but for myself.  I learned that life is as good as our current mindset.  Change your mindset and watch your life change too. 

    I would offer this advice, to be better for others, the journey to be better must begin from within you first. (I know it sounds backwards!)

    Here’s are a few ideas I would like to offer:

    1. Learn about self-care is all about.
    2. Practice forgiveness with others and yourself
    3. Find out what triggers your emotions. Pay attention to what makes you mad, sad, happy, and peaceful. Don’t suppress then, feel them all.
    4. Read and learn. Focus on expanding your mind.  Others have been where you are and can offer great insight or at least a different perspective on how to look at things.
    5. Extend grace to others as well as yourself.  We are all doing the best we can with our current state of mind. One of my favorite quotes “When you know better, you do better.” -Maya Angelou.

    I would like to close out with this, take time out to figure out who you are and what you like.  If we don’t take time out to learn about ourselves, no one else will do it for us.  Remember, when you change for the better, life will reflect that change back to you.

    I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/better-person

    To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides

  • How to Become Powerful: Using Creativity and Personal Development Together

    How to Become Powerful: Using Creativity and Personal Development Together

    “Creativity takes courage. ” ― Henri Matisse

    How does creativity promote your personal development?- Quora

    I would like to think that creativity and personal development go hand in hand. Creativity is being able to look at things from different angles and coming up with new possibilities. Personal development is taking a deeper dive into who and what we can do. 

    Think about the last time you got a new phone.  When I got my phone, the first thing I wanted to know was the basics; how to make phone calls, how to text and check my email.  The more I got into using and learning how to work my phone worked, the more I start playing around with new features and new apps.  I got more comfortable and more confident in exploring the possibilities of what my phone could do. Now I make videos and some much more.

    We are like smart phones, without personal development and creativity in our lives, we are just scratching the surface of our capabilities. Personal development and creativity together, help us to realize we are more powerful than we think, and we stop scratching the surface and explore the possibilities. Personal development gets you to start asking questions like what else can I do or what if I try this? 

    I would like to offer those who are starting to dig deeper into who they are and what they can do a few simple reminders:

    1. Enjoy the ride. The road on the self-discovery journey is a tricky one but it can also be a fun one. I like reading my old journals and seeing just how far my mindset has shifted. 
    2. Trust the process. It may be hard and lonely at times so remember the caterpillar wouldn’t become a butterfly without the metamorphizing. Can you imagine what beauty we would miss out if the caterpillar resisted. 
    3. You are not alone. There are many others out here learning and growing each day. Find other like-minded individuals to surround yourself with.
    4. Stay Curious. Creativity can’t be used up.  The more you use it the more you get in return so the personal development journey can be a lifelong discovery of endless wonder.

    I would like to close with this, you are more powerful than you know. Don’t stop at the basics, unleash your full potential, and take that dive. You are a gift, and the world is calling on you!

    I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag?utf8=✓&id=creativity

    To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides

  • Being Rejected Automatically Can Create An Interesting Shift in One’s Thinking

    Being Rejected Automatically Can Create An Interesting Shift in One’s Thinking

    “You have as many options as you give yourself.” ― Kasie West

    I submitted a post that was automatically rejected!

    In the past, I know I would have been really upset but the older I get the more I realize, it was not what they were looking for.

    The key point in this situation is not that I got rejected, but the fact that I submitted a post in the first place. I knew my chances of being accepted were slim when I submitted my entry in the first place.  By writing a post, I knew I had a 50/50 percent chance of being accepted which is always better than a zero percent chance by never submitting at all.  I also realized that you don’t need someone else’s approval to offer up advice. You can offer but it is always up to someone else if they will choose to take it or not. 

    This is something I am learning more and more every day.  By expressing or sharing our thoughts, ideas, or experiences, we have done what the universe has called upon us to do. By doing so, we are helping those who are searching for an answer. If it is out there, it is available if it is not, it helps no one.

    Here’s my last takeaway:

    There is nothing in the rule book that says you can’t offer an answer through other means. We always have options. The question was posted on Quora, but you can post your answer elsewhere!

    Don’t let others keep you from sharing your insight and wisdom. My mother use to say, if there is a will, there is a way. Find your way to share your insight and wisdom with the world.

    I am posting the question and my answer below. Feel free to check it out if you would like to. If not, I know it wasn’t what you were looking for.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag?utf8=✓&id=options

    Connect with me https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides

    Rejected Submission:

    What is advice you would give to 20 something year old in today’s world? – Quora

    I thought about the advice I would give to my son when I thought about this answer.  He just turned twenty-one this year. He is married and, in the military, about to move to Italy. What came up for me was this:

    Live your life. Life is too short to live it according to other people’s standards, including mine.

    I was not happy when I found out my son was planning on getting married at nineteen.  I was trying to get him to live a little bit more before settling down, but his heart was set on it. It seemed the more I voiced my opinion against the marriage idea the more they were determined to go through with it.  We had several conversations and the one thing I remember him telling me was that this felt right for him. I wasn’t thrilled but I respected his decision.

    I read Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth a few years back and it helped me to step back and realize our roles change in life.  If my son is grown enough to make these kinds of decisions, my role now is to simply love and support him. Just like I lived my life, it is their turn to live theirs. 

    Food for thought:

    “If it is your intention to establish and maintain loving relationships with other people, you absolutely must surrender the need to be in control.” – Iyanla Vanzant

  • Year End Advice: How to Make 2022 a Success For You

    Year End Advice: How to Make 2022 a Success For You

    “Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get” ― W. P. Kinsella

    How can I make the year 2022 work for me?- Quora

    I think we can make a big impact in 2022 when we learn first to define want success looks like for ourselves. We can’t make the year work for you if you don’t know what you are aiming for in the first place.  

    Success means different things to different people. My life changed the moment I realized I was living my life based off the standards of others. Here are a few suggestions to help jump start your new year:

    Learn to trust your inner voice. 

    This was a hard lesson for me to learn.  It’s like programing your GPS to your desired location and then wanting to turn it off or doubting it because it’s taking on a whole new route you never traveled before. Once you get comfortable using the GPS, you learn to trust that it knows the best way to get you there. You stop trying to outsmart the navigation system.

    Figure out what you’re aiming for

    I learned to set goals a little more by watching football.  If you don’t know what end zone yours is, you’ll never know which way to run and when you’ve had a touchdown.  Once I started setting goals, my brain went to work looking for opportunities like a quarterback looks for a receiver.

    Stop waiting for approval from others

    Sometimes we are the one who must be the first to lead.  This goes with trusting your inner voice which seems to get louder the more you listen. We all have an assignment to do in life.  You have a special gift or talent that you are equipped with. This is your superpower.  The world is waiting for you to discover and cultivate your special power.  You might have the idea to end world hunger or cure cancer but without you are taking that first step to cultivate your superpower, the world is left with a great loss.  That missing puzzle piece.

    Build a support team

    We don’t have to do everything on our own.  Look for other people who want to also do something in their life. We can be become candles for each other who in turn help to keep each other’s paths lit.  Form an accountability group or create your own.

    As we close out 2021, I always suggest taking inventory of the things that worked for you and the things that you would like to change.  To get to your desired location, you must know where you are on the map!

    I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/success

    To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides

  • Unpack Your Bags: Advice on How to Let Go and Be Yourself

    Unpack Your Bags: Advice on How to Let Go and Be Yourself

    “The past gets carried with us. It’s always there.” ― Ann Pearlman

    How do you let go and be yourself? -Quora

    I remember waking up one morning thinking, “I came into this world by myself, and I will be leaving this world by myself.”  It was the weirdest thought that just lingered in my head, and I had to go for a morning walk to gain some clarity.  This is what came to me on my walk:

    The best way I can explain is through an analogy. 

    Life gets heavy and cumbersome after a while when you are so busy picking up everyone else’s emotional and mental baggage load when we are constantly trying to “help” or “fix” them. It was time to determine who’s bags I was carrying and notice what my baggage looked like.

    As a wife, I was carrying my husband’s bags. As a mother, I was carrying my grown adult children’s bags. As a daughter, I was carrying my father’s along with other bags piled on from friends and society. As a woman, I wanted to help and give them answers, but unconsciously, I was also picking up their emotional and mental baggage by worrying or getting angry if they didn’t take my advice.  These were not my issues to solve.

    On that morning walk, I learned that if the baggage belonged to someone else, it was okay to put the bag down, step away and let them carry it themselves.

    We all have a purpose here on Earth, something that we are uniquely here to do, create, or solve.  By carrying everyone’s emotional and mental baggage, you can easily get weighed down and unable to do what you need to do in life.  Plus, it robs the other person from learning their precious life lessons. 

    Life doesn’t provide us with what we want but rather what we need. Life lessons are the golden gems we gather along our journey when we take time to reflect on what we are going through.

    By knowing what bags belong to me and what bags belong to someone else, it allows me the mental freedom to be who I am. It allows me the emotional and mental freedom to move faster and pivot easier. 

    So now when people share their issues and concerns with me, I listen more as a sounding board and I ask myself, is this my baggage to carry I want to carry? If the answer is no, I quickly put it down and walk away. I have learned my job is to love them not fix them. 

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/baggage

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