Sweet N Social

Tag: psychology of everyday life

  • Are External Factors Affecting Your Success? My Guess Is Yes

    Are External Factors Affecting Your Success? My Guess Is Yes

    “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” ― Jordan Belfort

    Have you ever stopped doing something you enjoyed because you didn’t get likes, subscribers or followers you wanted? I want to talk about how we can manage the external sources of influence that keep us from creating the life we want.

    One day while I was running, I was thinking to myself that I would stop making Instagram Reels. The problem with that thinking is, I love making Instagram Reel videos. I love taking 10-second clips of video and turning it into a snippet of entertainment. I think that is why I have enjoyed learning how to make YouTube videos too.

    Back to the problem, I was getting frustrated because I was losing followers on my IG page and I automatically assume it was because of the videos. I also started criticizing myself for posting videos of the nature I would see on my walks which helps me to stay creative.

    I was ready to stop doing the one of the things that brings me joy because of external sources. In many cases we don’t know or will never know why people unfollow, unsubscribe, or unlike us, but our minds will search for reasons and that what was happening to me.

    Here’s what we have to keep in mind, their action have nothing to do with us. We are internalizing or trying to rationalize what someone else is thinking when we try to “guess” or “figure out” what made them take action without ever asking them directly. When we do this, nothing positive usually comes from this kind of thinking. We are our worst critiques!

    When we decide to stop doing the things we enjoy doing because of likes, subscribers, or followers we are measuring our success by the standards of others. These are what we call external sources of influences. Learning how to navigate these external sources of influences is key especially when it comes to honoring what it is that we enjoy doing and makes us happy.

    Here are a few suggestions that have helped me:

    Define what success looks like to you.

    Asking yourself what feeling are you after is a great place to start. Are you after happiness? Inner peace? Fulfillment? Then ask yourself, what kinds of activities bring me those kinds of feelings?

    When I started walking years ago, I was looking for inner peace during a chaotic period of my life. Nine years later, I still walk because I found the inner peace I was looking for in my life. I also lost weight and my marriage is much healthier and stronger too.

    Keep in mind why you started in the first place.

    Sometimes when we stop to reconnect with our why, we remember what was the motivating force behind starting in the first place.

    For instance, when I started my YouTube channel, I started it as a way to provide uplifting content to deal with the COVID shutdown. I asked some of the life coaches in my network if they would like to share some insight on how to deal with the COVID shutdown. My goal was not to become a YouTube Influencer.

    By always remembering why I started my channel it helps me to keep in perspective what I am doing it for so when I don’t get the likes, subscribers or comments I don’t have the desire to quit. I have stronger reason to keep going and that is like sprinkles on the cupcake. It also helps me to stay consistent in uploading my content. Whoever is looking for it, when they need it, can find it!

    Remember that You Matter.

    I think this one is the most important factor in all of this. You matter and your voice matters. Our experiences in life are not exclusively for you. It is for you to share the lessons you learned because of it.

    When we take time to learn the lessons along our journey, they can become the missing pieces to someone else’s puzzle. When we allow the external sources of influence to stop us, we are saying subconsciously, that we do not matter and what we experience in life is irrelevant. That is one of the biggest lies we can say to ourselves. You matter, your opinions matter and someone is waiting for your message in the big beautiful world of ours.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I invite you to check out my Instagram Reels and leave a comment. Feedback is always welcome.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/excuses

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/confidentstrides/

  • Advice on How to Make Rules That Build Healthy Habits

    Advice on How to Make Rules That Build Healthy Habits

    “Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

    Quora Question: How did you force yourself to stick to healthy habits?

    The very first thing I did was determine what I wanted to create and then I set up rules that would protect my habit until it could “feed” itself.

    For instance, when I started my walking habit, my main objective was to find peace during a chaotic period of my life.  I had always enjoyed playing and being out in nature while I was growing up.  I found peace and happiness so when I needed to find peace, I went back to the one thing I knew would give me that. A walk in the park.  I never set out to become a “walker” it just felt right and natural.  Nine years later, I still find peace and happiness out on the trails.

    I would never encourage anyone to “force” themselves to do anything.  I think the biggest success comes from knowing your why first and trusting the process as it unfolds.  You can still set up “rules” like I will do two sit-ups during a commercial break, or I will drink water first thing in the morning, but these are ways to help you stay in alignment with your WHY.

    Another influence that helps you stay on course is taking each day one step at a time. Start small and let the motivation of each win carry you forward. A few months into my walking journey, I started paying attention to the kinds of food I was eating.  After a great walk, I didn’t want to ruin it by eating a burger and fries.  I slowly added salads to my diet.  

    No one likes to be pushed around so why would you want to do that to yourself?  

    As humans, we are designed with “three chairmen”, the mind, body, and spirit connection.  When they are in sync, you become unstoppable by simply deciding.  Get clear about your WHY and opportunities to help you achieve your goal will pop up on your mental radar.

    Here are some things to consider when implementing “rules”

    1. If you know the rules, then you know how to break them too especially if we are the ones who made them in the first place.  Rules serve a very important role when first establishing a new habit, but if they remain checked, they can also become the very thing that hinders your growth. 
    2. Consider rules like a baby’s crib, they serve to protect your habit but eventually we will outgrow them.  It isn’t until you want to create or break a habit that you realize just how much our rules have an influence on our behavior.  
    3. Realize that with everything that is worthwhile in having, it needs time and space to cultivate. By adding this new habit, consider what you need to prepare for it to grow.  For example, readers look for time to read even perhaps create a special corner or buy a special reading chair to ease their mind for reading mode. 
    4. What will help trigger your habit? Like I mentioned above, commercial breaks can be your trigger to do push-ups or sit-ups.  This reminds me of the time when I was in the military, and we were preparing for an upcoming fitness test.  Our commanders would post signs like “do 20 push-ups” on Post-It-Notes on their doors. If you entered their office, you had to do what was posted on the note.  It made it kind of fun especially when the whole company was involved.
    5. Keep it fun. Creating habits does not have to be forced. Get your family or friends involved to help you stay on track.  Celebrate the wins and keep track of your progress.  Seeing progress is another great way to keep you going.
    6. Last and certainly not least, give yourself grace.  The fact that you made the decision to change is the most important decision of all. Remember, if it was easy, everyone would do it!

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to check out my YouTube Channels and leave a comment.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/rules

    1. Confident Strides YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wjtS11
    2. Coffee With T YouTube Channel (Interviews) https://bit.ly/3rYLJHR

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • Creating Habits: 9 Ways to Stop the Need for External Approval

    Creating Habits: 9 Ways to Stop the Need for External Approval

    “Give space to your thoughts, clear the noise in your head, chit-chat with your inner critic, decide and move on.” ― Cristina Imre

    I woke up thinking about how I almost let my inner critic stop me from growing this week. Here’s my challenge.

    I love making Instagram Reels. It’s easy and fun for me to put little video clips together. What I figured out is that I could create the video clips and then add them to my YouTube channel as Shorts. It is a win-win for me and my viewers because I found another way to keep my original channel active now that I have moved my interview content to a whole new channel. This is also an opportunity to share more about who I am and what I do.

    There is only one thing that presents a struggle and that is my fear of talking directly into the camera. In order to overcome this resistance, I decided to talk about the one thing I feel pretty confident about and that is habits. I started recording mini videos of my talking about how to make habits stick as I work on my challenge of talking on video.

    I had one fluke video hit over 1600 views and I was feeling pretty good. The next couple of videos hit about 100 views and lately my videos are only attracting 3-6 views. I started obsessing about the view count and was ready to stop making videos. I started looking at the view count as my success indicator.

    My inner critic was in full attack mode and had enough ammunition to make me want to give up. I started questioning myself and this whole idea of creating YouTube Shorts. I started thinking I wasn’t doing the “right” thing. Fortunately, I woke up this morning with a refreshed attitude and a the insight of, “stop looking at the numbers.”

    After a few minutes of reflection, I realized “stop looking at the numbers” was code for stop looking for outside validation.

    How many times have you stopped doing what you enjoy doing because the numbers don’t look good, especially in the beginning? Did we start out doing it for the numbers? For me the answer is no. I wanted to share information on a subject that I love talking about and I thought could be of help to someone else. I also wanted to get pass my fear of speaking directly on camera.

    It is at these moments in time that the one person who pops in my head (surprisingly) is Cardi B. She went from being a stripper to becoming a rapper. I can only imagine how much negativity and limited self-talk she had to overcome. So when I think about giving up, I think about how other people had to overcome the same “stinking thinking” in order to do what they are doing today. If Cardi B can go from stripping to becoming a sought out entertainer, I can get past my fear of talking on camera!

    Who inspires you and why? Keep them in mind when your inner critic starts to creep in. There are so many people, who battle their inner critic everyday and are winning, and so can we!

    Here’s some additional suggestions I would like to offer up:

    1. Write out your “why” and keep it in view.
    2. Make a list of people who inspire you along with why they inspire you.
    3. Before making any major decisions, go for a walk or allow some time for you to think. Let you mind settle.
    4. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Awareness is key!
    5. Record your progress. Every little step forward is a win.
    6. Celebrate your wins.
    7. Find an accountability partner.
    8. Keep in mind that everyone has to start somewhere. It is always harder in the beginning.
    9. Don’t pay attention to the numbers! If the vision or the thought came to you, it belongs to you. You are the one who can bring it to life, if you choose to.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to check out my YouTube Channels and leave a comment.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/inner-critic

    1. Coffee With T YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wjtS11
    2. Confident Strides YouTube Channel (Interviews) https://bit.ly/3rYLJHR

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • What is One Way to Create Good Habits That Stick? Be Intentional

    What is One Way to Create Good Habits That Stick? Be Intentional

    “If you are not consciously building your habits, they are unconsciously building you.” 
    ― Anika J. Green

    Quora Question: What is one way to create good habits that stick?

    I would like to begin by answering this question by saying, take an assessment of what you are doing right now. Pay attention to the types of activities you do right now because without knowing where you are, you won’t be able to know if you are heading in the right direction once you start. 

    There is a little tiny “GPS” in all of us that knows what we need and what we want, but for some reason, we turned the volume off or never even tried to turn it on in the first place.  

     My first bit of advice is to get still and listen for that small, tiny voice or start paying attention to what makes your heart sing.  These are clues that your soul is sending to us, and we must start listening otherwise the activities we try to incorporate into our lives will not stick. 

    Depending where you are on your personal development journey, there are things we can implement that can help us become better listeners.  I would like to offer a few suggestions here:

    1. Go for a daily walk.  You can start off with a 5 or 10-minute walk around your neighborhood or at a local park.  The point of starting is to make it simple and doable.  
    2. Start a gratitude journal.  When you write, you are making your thoughts visible.  You can’t write something without first thinking about it. Again, start small with maybe 3-5 things you are grateful for each day or once a week.
    3. Meditate.  Shut your devices off and sit quietly for 5-10 minutes. 

    These activities are great for helping to turn your personal, inner GPS system back on or helping you to adjust the volume back up. 

    What I have learned through my own personal journey is that what we do is influenced by what we believe is possible for ourselves.  This is where the inner “GPS” practices I mentioned above can come in handy.  By honestly assessing where we are mentally, emotionally, and physically, we can then determine what is working for us and what we need to change. 

    Here are some great questions to ask yourself that can help in your assessment:

    1. Who am I and who do I want to become? 
    2. What do I believe about myself and is it true?
    3. What kind of activity will help me to become this kind of person?
    4. What kind of person do I want to be know for?

    The bottom line is this… we are creatures of habits! We create all kinds of habits all of the time just by doing things, sometimes on purpose, and sometimes by accident. Habits become what we do without even having to think it. It takes a lot of energy to think and that is why our brains looks for ways to save energy. So, to create positive habits that stick, you must become intentional.  That means we must get our brains to wake up and think again about what we are doing. Bad habits can be formed just as easily as good habits. The difference is the kind of person you want to be identified as because of that activity. Runners run. Readers read. Creators create.

    Who do you want to be?

    Thinking is the magic ingredient that helps habits stick.  The key to implementing the kind of change to create the desired habits is to be intentional and make our activities small, simple, and doable until they become automatic.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/intentional-living

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • Successful Habits: How to Make Any Long-lasting Life Changes

    Successful Habits: How to Make Any Long-lasting Life Changes

    “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ― Will Durant

    Quora Question: How do I turn something into a habit?

    First and foremost, habits are always being created whether you realize it or not.  

    Habits can either bring positive results or negative consequences depending on what it is.  For instance, pulling out your phone and scrolling on social media sites when you are standing in a line can become a habit. It’s a natural, automatic response which can be defined as a habit.  The positive result may be to stay-up-to date with everything that is happening in your virtual world. The negative consequence could be missing out on the opportunity to meet new people standing in line with you.

    The first rule of thumb in establishing a new habit is to understand why you want to create it in the first place.  What are your intentions?

    You can ask yourself several questions to get to the heart to your “why.” Here are a few questions to start the inner dialog.

    • What is the goal or result I want to achieve?
    • Why is this important to me?
    • What am I tired of?  Sometimes negative consequences can be the motivational factor for creating a new habit or change.
    • What are your needs and wants?

    Once you get a clearer understanding as to why this change or habit is important to you, the “how” is easier to incorporate.

    When I first started writing this blog, my consistency was horrible.  I would write a few posts then my mind would go blank.  It wasn’t until I took the time out to figure out that writing was a way for me to share my voice with others that I started to see opportunities to help me stay consistent. I use Quora to stay consistent. I look for questions that I can offer advice on.  

    Your ”how” is a way to express your “why.”  Get clear on your why and opportunities to fulfill it with start to pop up on your mental radar.  

    The next rule of thumb to establishing a habit it to allow time and space for it to grow.  

    This could be allowing physical time to establish a routine.  It also includes determining what old beliefs, people, or situations you might have to let go or bring in to help you.  Do you need to read more books on the subject, hire a coach or personal trainer, or re-configure your schedule?  Asking yourself questions is key.

    I think many people are looking for a magic number for implementing change or creating a new habit which there really isn’t one.  The most effective way to implement change is to change your mindset first. Ask yourself, who is it that I want to become to achieve this type of goal and then watch the magic of transformation begin!

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag?utf8=✓&id=habits

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • How to Easily Organize Your Day and Increase Productivity While Working From Home

    How to Easily Organize Your Day and Increase Productivity While Working From Home

    “Everyone is self employed and your employer is you.” ― Todd Stocker

    Quora Question: Are you working from home? What are the tips to help you stay productive?

    I retired from the military in 2010. The last “traditional” job I had outside the home was in 2019. I currently manage two YouTube channels, a podcast channel and five Meetup groups. I also write a weekly blog working Monday through Thursday.  

    What has been the biggest ‘aha’ for me was realizing I have the right to create my own schedule. For example, I use to ask people, “what day did they want to conduct the recording for the podcast?”  I no longer ask.  Now provide the days and times I am available. If they are interested in being a guest most of the time, they have found the time to hop on my calendar.  It’s like my mother use to say, “when there is a will, there is a way”. This also goes for our schedules and our productivity goals too.  Once you determine what is important to you, you will find the time to get it done!

    Here are a few of suggestions I would like to offer in helping you stay productive:

    1. Use a daily or weekly planner.  Take time to brain dump all the things you want to get done along with the target date for completion. Seeing your tasks written out helps to get the things on your list done. If you are operating with the thoughts in your head, you won’t be able to get a clear picture of what’s going on in your head.  Writing things down helps to make your thoughts visible.
    2. Implement daily exercise like a walk.  Movement helps to gain clarity. With more clarity, you can determine what is your priority for the day. 
    3. Eliminate distractions.  One of the things I implemented was setting my phone to automatically enable the Do-Not-Disturb function daily.  Most phones have an emergency override feature so you can always be reached. Use that DND time to work on important tasks that require your undivided attention.  
    4. Make sure you get up and move throughout the day.  As I mentioned, movement helps with clarity.  With clarity comes focus.  If you are having trouble focusing, get up and move. I sometimes turn on my music and just dance around to get my body moving.
    5. Use your smart devices to your advantage.  I use my Alexa as my personal assistant.  Use it to set reminders for daily tasks and appointment reminders.
    6. Say no to activities that are not helping you accomplish your goals.  I had to scale back on attending networking events, “free” webinars, and scrolling social media sites of others.  I learned to guard my attention like I guard my money.  Remember: everyone is via for your attention these days.
    7. Celebrate your wins.  Set personal target dates with rewards for accomplishing them.  It’s amazing how hard we work on days just before we go on vacations. Use this kind of thinking to your advantage.  Set daily, weekly, or monthly goals that will inspire you to work hard and then reward yourself.  

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/self-employed

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • How to Plan and Focus More of Your Time and Increase Productivity

    How to Plan and Focus More of Your Time and Increase Productivity

    “Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” ― Steve Maraboli

    Quora Question: What advice do you give to make the most of the hours of the day and be more productive?

    As an entrepreneur, I think the number one thing to making the most of the hours of the day and to be more productive is developing your mindset and establishing your “why” behind what you are doing each day.  Your “why” determines the “how” and the “what” behind all the activities you do each day. 

    Once you know your “why”, you can ask yourself questions that will help you determine what is going to get you your desired results like, “what is the priority for today?”.

    Mindset determines everything first and foremost.

    Once you understand your “why” here are some additional suggestions that can aid in your productivity, especially for those who work from home:

    1. Use a weekly planner. Brain dump every task that you want to accomplish within your week along with your target date for completion. There is something about taking the ideas from out of your head and putting them down on paper.
    2. Go for a daily walk or run. These types of activities help to gain mental clarity for the tasks of the day. 
    3. Reduce the number of distractions throughout the day.  For example, my phone comes on automatic “Do Not Disturb” mode every day for a four-hour period.  Distractions can be the biggest enemy in productivity. 
    4. Get up and move around throughout the day. If you are struggling on staying focused, getting up and moving helps to relax the brain.  This is a great way to reset and spark new ideas.
    5. Set office hours.  This works great with suggestion #3 because it helps to put you into work mode mindset.
    6. Find an accountability partner.  Sometimes we work harder for others than we do for ourselves.  Share you goals with them and then schedule “check-in” calls with each other.
    7. Give yourself grace. There will be days when you are more productive than others.  Sometimes a non-productive day is what helps to reset yourself.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/mindset

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • Decide First: How to Adopt New Habits and Develop a Positive Attitude

    Decide First: How to Adopt New Habits and Develop a Positive Attitude

    “Trust your instincts, and make judgements on what your heart tells you. The heart will not betray you.” ― David Gemmell

    Quora Question: How can you change your habits and thought process that control your daily life and wellbeing?

    I think when you finally get tired of the drama that’s in your life and you make the decision to change, even if it is just one small thing, that is when life itself will change for you. Change begins with the decision to change. It could be as simple as wanting to drink more water and less sodas or alcohol.  One small change can shift the trajectory of your path.

    Pay attention to things that cause an irritation in you.  Ask yourself, “what’s in my control?”  If there is something you can do to reduce or eliminate the irritation, then do it. Change begins the moment you decide you want to change.

    Let me give you an example:

    A couple of years ago, I used to be big on scrolling through Facebook and other social sites, but I started noticing how I would feel once I got off. It wasn’t leaving me with positive feelings. I asked myself, “what’s in my control?”  That’s when I realized I could choose to do something else with my time like read books rather than scroll social media sites.  I could go for a walk or write in my journal when I felt the urge to grab for my phone. When I pondered what else I could do with time I usually allotted for scrolling social media, that is when I saw other activities that were more in alignment with achieving my desired goals.

    So here are a few suggestions I would like to offer anyone looking to change their habits and thought process:

    1. Pay attention to your emotions and your feelings.  They are like signals from your soul that let you know if you are heading in the right direction or indicators that you might want to make a U-turn.
    2. Make the decision to make one small change.  It is that one small change that can and will change the trajectory of your path.  
    3. Trust the process and watch it unfold.  Learn to become friends with your body, mind, and spirit.  I call them the “Three Chairmen”.  Once I learned to listen and pay attention to what was coming up from within, I know get a better sense of when I am on the right path or when I need to pivot. 
    4. Stay open to possibilities.  There will be things that you will pick up on your mental radar that you may have never noticed before. It is like your brain goes to work looking for opportunities to help you achieve your desired goals.
    5. Keep a journal. Record your progress.  As we grow and change, you can always look back through your journal entries to see how far you have come. By paying attention, simple change in your habits, behaviors and thoughts are more recognizable.
    6. Find an accountability partner. Connect with others and share your insight with others. Help to hold each other accountable for your goals. 
    7. Have grace with yourself.  We didn’t develop these habits and thought processes in just one day and that means we can’t change them in just one day either.  

    The truth is that we are always changing whether we realize it or not.  By paying attention and recording our process, we can see the process and watch it unfold.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/decision-making

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • How Being Mindful of Our Actions Has a Powerful Affect Others

    How Being Mindful of Our Actions Has a Powerful Affect Others

    “Looking at beauty in the world, is the first step of purifying the mind.” ― Amit Ray

    For the past few weeks there have been signs that spring is right around the corner. Watching the flower stems produce the buds is exciting because it signifies the end of winter, and this is great news for me here in Ohio.

    I noticed two flowers had bloomed along the wood line, so I know they were not planted there. On a couple of occasions, I would walk over to the patch and take pictures of what I would call “the natural beauties.” I event captured them on video as they were tossed around by the crisp morning air. I never had a desire to pick them, but as a child I would have.  

    This morning, as I ran by the flower patch, the flowers were gone. Someone had picked them and the first thought I had was how rude and selfish of them to do such a thing. I was a little disappointed in not seeing the flowers. I felt that whoever picked them was only thinking of themselves and not considering how picking those flowers would affect someone else.  

    What a different world it would be if we all truly took a moment to think about how our actions might affect someone else!

    This made me stop and think about some of my recent actions and how they may have affected others.  It’s in these very moments like this that make me really take notice of what I do. I have come to learn that if some type of emotion is triggered with in me by someone else’s actions, there is something that I can learn from.

    I realized I can be impulsive and inconsiderate of other people’s feelings, and I don’t always stop and consider the ramifications of my actions, but with self-awareness comes new insight and new behaviors. Life is always offering us an opportunity to learn and grow even if someone cuts the flowers.  

    Taking a moment before we speak, or act can make a huge difference in all our relationships whether it is with ourselves, with others or with the world.

    What I learned from this morning’s walk is this:

    • Don’t be so hard on others. 
    • Don’t be so hard on myself too.

    We are all doing the best with what we know at our own level of consciousness. Awareness is key!

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/mindfulness

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • The World is Waiting: How to Build Self Confidence to Be Seen

    The World is Waiting: How to Build Self Confidence to Be Seen

    “You can keep as quiet as you like, but one of these days somebody is going to find you.” ― Haruki Murakami

    Quora Question: What are you hiding from the world?

    I am a planner person. I love the washi tape and stickers and all that crafty, creativity stuff!  I used to run an Esty shop and sell my items at craft shows, so when I sit down to work on my planner, I usually have it all laid out on the living room floor. Recently, when I had all my crafting stuff out to update my planner and my husband was upstairs, I could hear him getting ready to come downstairs and my first reaction was to gather up all my things.  As I started to, the first thought that popped in my head was “stop hiding.”

    Ask yourself… what are you hiding from the world?

    I can’t speak for others, but as a child of an alcoholic parent and a young girl who grew up in an area where there weren’t many others who looked like me, you try not to bring attention to yourself. It wasn’t until a few years ago, that I realized my opinions and feelings mattered.  I didn’t learn anything about self-care until I was in my forties.  That’s a long time to stay in a hiding place. 

    As I continue to come out of my hiding space, I am learning more about who I am and what I want, and I encourage you to come out of your hiding place too!

    Our “wounds have wisdom” as Oprah Winfrey often says.  What I am learning along this journey is our experiences can be lessons for us and blessing for others. Here are some practices that have helped me thus far:

    1. Meditation.  I sign up for the free meditation programs that Deepak Chopra offers. You can also search YouTube for guided meditation practices if this of interest to you. I like the guided meditations in the beginning because they helped me stay focused.
    2. Reading.  Anything you are interested in learning is available in a book, an eBook, or an audiobook.  Reading helped me to realize, I am not alone.  Many of the personal struggles we are dealing with, have been encountered by others who chose to share how they overcame and can be a source of inspiration for you.
    3. Walking or Exercise. Getting up and moving is a great way to shift your energy.  I say it helps to get the “gunk” out of our system.  It’s like taking your car our on the highway and opening it up.
    4. Join a group.  There are several great groups that you can connect with in-person as well and virtually.  
    5. Journal.  I started journaling years ago, but I never stayed consistent.  What I found that can help is keeping the journal in my sights. If I see it, I am reminded to pick it up and write.
    6. Blog.  Share your story with others.  You may hold the key to unlocking someone else’s breakthrough.
    7. Have Grace with Yourself.  Your life is a marathon not a sprint. Take time to sit and get to know who you are.  You are worth it!

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/hiding

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides