Sweet N Social

Tag: relationship tips

  • Focus on You – Ways on How to Be Better Person

    Focus on You – Ways on How to Be Better Person

    “It is less about becoming a better person, and more of being better, as a person.” ― J.R. Rim

    How can I be better for myself and my partner? – Quora

    My relationships got better when I stopped trying to change my partner and focused on changing myself.  My husband and I have been married now for fifteen years.  I had been married twice before.  This marriage was heading towards divorce too until I got an epiphany on a walk one day where I asked myself, “what has all of these marriages have in common?”  The answer was ME!

    I went from relationship to relationship never taking time out to figure out who I was. I was carrying baggage from one relationship to another without taking time to unpack from the last relationship.  

    This marriage would have ended too if I hadn’t learned that I can’t change others, the only person I have control over is myself.  

    I started reading books on spirituality to personal development, including books on personal relationships.  I started asking myself questions like, “what or how have I contributed to the marriage breakdowns?”  Looking back now, I realized, I really didn’t know what love was. Learning about self-care was an eye-opener!   

    During that time in my life, I started to learn more about what I liked and didn’t like. I learned about forgiveness not only for my ex-husbands but for myself.  I learned that life is as good as our current mindset.  Change your mindset and watch your life change too. 

    I would offer this advice, to be better for others, the journey to be better must begin from within you first. (I know it sounds backwards!)

    Here’s are a few ideas I would like to offer:

    1. Learn about self-care is all about.
    2. Practice forgiveness with others and yourself
    3. Find out what triggers your emotions. Pay attention to what makes you mad, sad, happy, and peaceful. Don’t suppress then, feel them all.
    4. Read and learn. Focus on expanding your mind.  Others have been where you are and can offer great insight or at least a different perspective on how to look at things.
    5. Extend grace to others as well as yourself.  We are all doing the best we can with our current state of mind. One of my favorite quotes “When you know better, you do better.” -Maya Angelou.

    I would like to close out with this, take time out to figure out who you are and what you like.  If we don’t take time out to learn about ourselves, no one else will do it for us.  Remember, when you change for the better, life will reflect that change back to you.

    I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/better-person

    To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides

  • It’s Not That Important

    stop-yelling-at-kids-6

    It’s not that Important” were the words being shouted from the backseat of the car the other day when my husband and I were “discussing” where to place the cell phone in order to hear the navigational directions.  I will admit that I got “caught up” in the discussion because I was trying to make my opinion known.  Of course my husband had his own idea on where he wanted to put the phone since he was driving.

    My three year old granddaughter interjected herself into the conversation by saying “its not that important”.  The thing that caught my attention, besides this little person yelling from the backseat and the fact that she couldn’t quite say the word “important” was when I stopped to think about what was happening at that moment, she was right.  I had let my ego step in.

    I laugh now because it took the words of a three year old to remind me that sometimes the little things we make the biggest fuss over are the little things that can begin to tear a relationship apart. The best thing we can do is stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself, just how important is it for me to be right?

    Photo Source: Click here.

  • All Present

    All Present

    I honestly think we can learn something new each day. The biggest challenge is usually staying present in the moment to notice.  I started getting out and reconnecting with friends.  What I often finding myself doing before we met up was worrying about what were going to say.  It’s at those moments when you have to tell that little voice inside to “be quiet.”  If you are present in the company of others, you can always find something to talk about.

    What does it mean to be present?  That’s always a great question when people ask me.  It’s giving the other person you undivided attention. I always like to define what it is by stating what it is not.  Let me give you some examples.  Being present is not worrying about what you could be doing with someone else. Being present is not scrolling through your phone when someone is sitting with you.  being present is not thinking about what you are going to do once you leave.  Being present is saying to the person you are with, that they are important enough to listen and let them be heard.

    Once I learned what it meant to be present, my marriage and all of my other relations greatly improved.  The power is in your hands. The one thing that is always in your control is yourself.

  • Paddling Together

    Paddling Together

    02-canoeing-manigotagan-river-manitobaI was talking with a friend this evening about relationships and some how I recalled a time I was on vacation where I was on a canoe trip. It was a two person canoe and I was in the bow (the front) and the other person was in the stern (the rear). What was suppose to be a fun little excursion, turned into a heated exchange between two very frustrated people.
    There were three major factors at play. First there was no clear direction as to where we were going. Second, there was no communication and third, our paddling was off.
    Thinking back on that incident I realized what I learned from the canoe trip can be helpful in maintaining any relationship. Here’s what I learned, if any two people have different agendas there is no focal point or goal to work towards together. Without effective communication, there is no understanding and neither person knows what the other person is doing. Lastly, if your paddling is off, you’re going nowhere. Timing is everything.
    Photo credit: click here.