“It is less about becoming a better person, and more of being better, as a person.” ― J.R. Rim
How can I be better for myself and my partner? – Quora
My relationships got better when I stopped trying to change my partner and focused on changing myself. My husband and I have been married now for fifteen years. I had been married twice before. This marriage was heading towards divorce too until I got an epiphany on a walk one day where I asked myself, “what has all of these marriages have in common?” The answer was ME!
I went from relationship to relationship never taking time out to figure out who I was. I was carrying baggage from one relationship to another without taking time to unpack from the last relationship.
This marriage would have ended too if I hadn’t learned that I can’t change others, the only person I have control over is myself.
I started reading books on spirituality to personal development, including books on personal relationships. I started asking myself questions like, “what or how have I contributed to the marriage breakdowns?” Looking back now, I realized, I really didn’t know what love was. Learning about self-care was an eye-opener!
During that time in my life, I started to learn more about what I liked and didn’t like. I learned about forgiveness not only for my ex-husbands but for myself. I learned that life is as good as our current mindset. Change your mindset and watch your life change too.
I would offer this advice, to be better for others, the journey to be better must begin from within you first. (I know it sounds backwards!)
Here’s are a few ideas I would like to offer:
- Learn about self-care is all about.
- Practice forgiveness with others and yourself
- Find out what triggers your emotions. Pay attention to what makes you mad, sad, happy, and peaceful. Don’t suppress then, feel them all.
- Read and learn. Focus on expanding your mind. Others have been where you are and can offer great insight or at least a different perspective on how to look at things.
- Extend grace to others as well as yourself. We are all doing the best we can with our current state of mind. One of my favorite quotes “When you know better, you do better.” -Maya Angelou.
I would like to close out with this, take time out to figure out who you are and what you like. If we don’t take time out to learn about ourselves, no one else will do it for us. Remember, when you change for the better, life will reflect that change back to you.
I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
- Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
- Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
- Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/better-person
To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides
I have an elderly neighbor who holds onto everything. She gives me things that are more than thirty years old sometimes. I appreciate the gifts but I wonder why is she holding on to the stuff or better yet what does she plan to do with it once she passes. It may sound like a morbid thought but it always brings me back to the decisions I make for me and my family. I want to leave my family with more than just debt! I realize it is the memories that last. We are all passing through this time and space, if we chose to let go of things, we could begin to hold on to love.
I was talking with a friend this evening about relationships and some how I recalled a time I was on vacation where I was on a canoe trip. It was a two person canoe and I was in the bow (the front) and the other person was in the stern (the rear). What was suppose to be a fun little excursion, turned into a heated exchange between two very frustrated people.
I stopped sharing most of my dreams with others not because I don’t think that they will not support me, but in actuality, their form of support is not helping but rather hindering success. I had someone say to me “be careful because things might not work out the way you want them to and you’ll get disappointed.” I thought to myself, isn’t that called life?
I have learned to enjoy myself at networking events once I focused on making connections rather than making sales. Most of the time, people are not there to buy because each of us have our own agendas in mind. Make the most of the connections and wherever you are, act like you belong there. Make your presence be known. Your energy alone will cause people to take notice.
Surrounding yourself with a strong network is vital to your growth. The more my business grows the more demanding my time becomes. With a strong network of support, I can do what I do best knowing I have folks who do what they do best. Together we can achieve more.
It was December of 2011, I was listening to Katy Perry’s “Firework “on my way to work and was balling like a big old baby. I knew I had to make a change in my life but I was a wife and a mother of three with financial obligations. Something said you can’t keep living like this, you are miserable with you job. I finally got the nerve up to go into Human Resources and put my two weeks’ notice in. I had no real idea what I planned on doing but one thing for sure was I was not going to keep working the same job I had done for almost 25 years through the military and private sector. Many people offered their opinions about my actions but for some strange reason, I felt I was where I needed to be doing exactly what it was I was doing. At that time I didn’t know that some people would call that a “calling”. My life hit some rough patches during 2012 through 2013. It wasn’t until 2014 that things started to fall into place. By now, I had my social media business for 2 years with no real growth. You may be asking yourself, how is that falling into place? Let me explain.
During that time we both were in a transitional period of our lives. He signed on with me in 2013 as a client. He had asked me to trust him and that he would do all that we could do to make his dreams come true and that if he made it, we both would make it. I committed myself to support his dreams by doing what I did best, helping him with his social media presence.
I know I am not where I want to be in career but I can honestly say I’m enjoying the journey.
Sweet N Social 
