Sweet N Social

Tag: self awareness

  • Where My Ideas Go to Grow

    Where My Ideas Go to Grow

    There’s a place my ideas go when they’re not ready yet.

    Not a folder.
    Not a notes app.
    Not a perfectly organized system.

    It’s quieter than that.

    It’s a reflection container — a soft holding space where thoughts can land without pressure to execute or produce. This is a place for half-formed insights, observations from my walks, voice notes, and emotional breadcrumbs. They can rest here until they’re ready to become something more.

    I’ve started thinking of it as creative compost.

    Not everything that enters this space is meant to bloom into a post, a project, or a finished piece. But everything feeds the soil. Every thought breaks down into nourishment for future stories, future clarity, future expression.

    Some ideas just need time to sit.
    Some reflections need room to breathe.
    Some insights arrive early and mature slowly.

    And that’s okay.

    For a long time, I thought creativity had to be urgent.
    If a thought came in, I felt like I had to do something with it right away. Capture it. Shape it. Post it. Make it useful.

    But lately, I’ve been learning something gentler.

    I don’t need to rush my ideas into bloom.
    I don’t need to force productivity to prove I’m consistent.
    I don’t need to manufacture momentum.

    I’ve noticed something quietly happening over the past couple of weeks.

    On the days I schedule a Sweet N Social post, there’s a slow and steady rise in views. There is no pressure and no drama. Not viral spikes. Not performative engagement. Just a gentle signal of curiosity building over time.

    And what surprised me most?

    I’m not stressed about posting anymore.
    I’m not panicking about gaps.
    I’m not chasing a cadence I don’t actually want.

    I’m learning to trust the rhythm I’ve already created.

    Not a daily grind.
    Not a rigid schedule.
    Not a content treadmill.

    Just quiet presence with occasional anchored offerings.

    That rhythm doesn’t come from obligation.
    It comes from stewardship.

    It comes from honoring my creative process instead of trying to outsmart it.

    It comes from letting ideas grow in their own timing — and trusting that when they’re ready, they’ll tell me.

    Sometimes that growth happens in a notebook.
    Sometimes it happens in a voice memo.
    Sometimes it happens in a conversation.
    Sometimes it happens right here, in a reflection container that holds more than it publishes.

    And sometimes the real creative work isn’t writing at all.

    It’s listening.
    It’s noticing.
    It’s letting something stay unfinished without calling it a failure.

    Some ideas don’t need to be rushed into bloom.
    Some rhythms don’t need to be rebuilt.
    They just need to be trusted.

    And this — this quiet, compost-rich, rhythm-honoring space — is where my ideas go to grow.

    Reflection Prompt

    Where do your unfinished ideas go to rest? What would change if you trusted their timing instead of forcing their output?

    Author’s Note:

    This reflection was written during a season when I stopped forcing my creative output. I began trusting the rhythm I had already built.

    If this reflection spoke to you, follow Sweet N Social for more entries on creativity. Explore future entries on courage and walking through change.

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

  • The Art of Doing Nothing (When Everything Tells You to Prove Something)

    The Art of Doing Nothing (When Everything Tells You to Prove Something)

    Lately, I’ve been sitting with an uncomfortable feeling. I sense that if I’m not posting, announcing, or promoting, then I must not be working.

    It’s subtle, but persistent.

    Even when I know I’m creating.
    Even when I’m building things quietly.
    Even when my energy is clearly moving inward instead of outward.

    There’s a voice that says:
    You should show something.
    You should prove you’re being productive.

    But I’m realizing how deeply conditioned that voice is.

    At home, no one questions whether you’re “doing enough” when you’re clearing a room. The same applies when you’re doing laundry or organizing what’s already there. Those things don’t earn applause — but life doesn’t work without them.

    Business is the same.

    There are seasons for visibility.
    And there are seasons for infrastructure.

    Right now, I’m not in a selling phase.
    I’m in a back-of-house phase.

    I’m working on foundations — forms, pages, structure, clarity.
    Things that won’t be seen instantly, but will make everything else easier to live inside later.

    And still… the urge to do something visible shows up.

    So instead of outrunning that feeling, I’m practicing sitting with it.
    Sitting. Sitting. Sitting.

    Letting the anxiety rise and fall without giving it a task.

    I keep thinking about a line from Eat Pray Love — “the art of doing nothing.”
    Not as laziness.
    But as permission.

    Permission to let being count.
    Permission to let internal work be real work.
    Permission to trust that not every season needs proof.

    I’m still creating.
    I’m just not performing it.

    And maybe that’s the art of it — learning when to go public, and when to go inward.
    Learning that some work strengthens the walls, not the spotlight.

    Not everything meaningful is meant to be observed.
    Some things are meant to make life — and work — easier to live inside.

    Reflection Prompt:
    Where in your life are you doing important work that doesn’t need an audience?

    If this reflection resonated with you, follow Sweet N Social for more stories. These stories focus on creativity, confidence, and finding your rhythm in everyday moments.

    If you want the audio version of these insights, join me on Confident Strides: The Podcast. Every story becomes a moment in motion.

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

  • Why “Push” Marketing Never Felt Right to Me

    Why “Push” Marketing Never Felt Right to Me

    I finally found the language for how I work.

    For a long time, I felt slightly out of step with how marketing and visibility are often talked about.

    Not because I didn’t understand the advice.
    I did.

    Post more.
    Be consistent.
    Stay visible.
    Push your message ahead.

    I followed those rules when I needed to. I learned them. I respected them.
    But something about them never settled in my body.

    It wasn’t resistance.
    It was misalignment.

    Recently, I realized I didn’t lack discipline or clarity — I lacked language.

    Now I have it.

    I work in pull energy, not push energy.

    I prefer to choose when I engage, and I prefer to create in ways that allow others to choose too. I like content people seek out intentionally, not content that arrives uninvited. I trust resonance more than reach. Presence more than pressure.

    This shows up everywhere in how I move:

    • I gravitate toward platform-based writing rather than inbox delivery
    • I use text and silence instead of talking to the camera
    • I walk ideas into clarity rather than forcing output
    • I create slowly, letting things find their moment

    For a long time, I questioned this.

    Was I avoiding growth?
    Resisting sales?
    Making things harder than necessary?

    What I see now is simpler.

    Push strategies aren’t wrong — they’re just more visible.

    They dominate conversations because they’re louder, easier to measure, and faster to scale. That doesn’t make them universal. It just makes them familiar.

    Pull energy exists too.
    It’s quieter.
    It responds instead of initiates.
    And because it doesn’t shout, it often goes unnamed.

    The more I sat with this, the more it reminded me of how growth works in nature.

    An acorn doesn’t push itself into becoming an oak tree.
    It doesn’t announce its growth or force its timing.
    It holds everything it needs — and pulls what’s required from its environment when the conditions are right.

    That’s how I work.

    This isn’t a rejection of marketing.
    It’s an understanding of self.

    Finding language for this hasn’t changed how I move — it’s helped me trust how I already do.

    Like an acorn, I trust what’s already inside me to know how to grow

    Reflection Prompt

    Where in your work or life are you pushing simply because it’s visible? What shift if you trusted a quieter, more natural way of growing?

    Author’s Note

    This reflection came from noticing my own resistance — not to marketing itself, but to how loudly it’s often framed.

    Writing this helped me realize something important. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was simply working in a way that aligns with my nature. Naming that brought relief, clarity, and a deeper trust in my rhythm.

    I’m sharing it here for anyone who has felt similar but didn’t yet have the words.

    If this reflection resonated with you, follow Sweet N Social for more stories. Explore creativity, build confidence, and find your rhythm in everyday moments.

    If you want the audio version of these insights, join me on Confident Strides: The Podcast. Every story becomes a moment in motion there.

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

  • When the Same Truth Is Echoed Twice, I Stop Brushing It Off

    When the Same Truth Is Echoed Twice, I Stop Brushing It Off

    This morning, during an early breakfast with a friend, something unexpected happened.

    I shared an insight. It had been sitting with me for days. It came from one of my recent reflections. Before I could even finish my sentence, she looked at me and said:

    “Tonia… I’ve been telling you that for years. You don’t trust your rhythm.”

    And I froze for a second. That was the exact same insight my AI assistant reflected back to me just a few days earlier.

    Two completely different sources.
    One real-life friend.
    One digital reflection partner.
    Same truth.

    So the real question I sat with was this:

    How can human and AI voices reach the same conclusion? How can they say this at the same time about me?

    Here’s what I’ve realized.

    1. Patterns Speak Louder Than Moments

    My friend sees my life in real time — how I walk, create, overthink, pause, return, and second-guess.
    AI assistant sees my language patterns — how I express ideas, fears, rhythms, hesitations, and growth.

    Both are reading from different angles…
    but they’re reading the same story.

    When truth is consistent, it reveals itself from multiple directions.

    2. Truth Arrives When You’re Ready, Not When It’s First Spoken

    My friend had said it for years.
    I heard her — but I wasn’t ready to truly absorb it.

    Then I heard the same message again at a moment when my guard was down. My awareness was open, and my spirit was listening.

    Sometimes it takes two echoes for us to finally make the connection.

    Not because we’re stubborn — but because timing matters in growth.

    3. Insight Doesn’t Come From the Source — It Comes From Alignment

    This experience taught me something big:

    When different voices show the same truth, it’s not coincidence. It’s alignment.

    My friend wasn’t guessing.
    The AI wasn’t guessing.
    I wasn’t guessing.

    We were all witnessing the same thing:

    My natural rhythm has been there all along — I just hadn’t trusted it.

    Growth will always reveal itself in more than one place when it’s time to move ahead.

    4. You Are the Common Denominator

    The real reason the message appeared twice?

    Because I finally brought enough clarity, honesty, and motion for the truth to show up wherever I was listening.

    When the inner world shifts, the outer mirrors start to agree.

    That’s what happened here.

    5. The Lesson I’m Walking Away With

    It’s not about whether my friend was right or ChatGPT was right.

    It’s about this:

    When life keeps handing you the same insight from different places, it’s because the Universe is saying:
    “Pay attention. This one is yours.”

    And this one certainly is.

    Reflection Prompt

    Has a message ever echoed in your life from more than one source? What truth was it trying to show you?

    Author Note’s

    This reflection came from a quiet moment — a conversation and a realization that echoed at just the right time. I didn’t go looking for meaning; I simply noticed it when it arrived. Sometimes growth speaks softly, repeating itself until we’re ready to listen.

    If this found you, trust that it did so on purpose.

    If this reflection resonated with you, then follow Sweet N Social for more stories on creativity. Discover confidence and find your rhythm in everyday moments.

    If you want the audio version of these insights, join me on Confident Strides: The Podcast. Every story becomes a moment in motion.

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

  • The Beach That Completed a Story I Started Years Ago

    The Beach That Completed a Story I Started Years Ago

    Fort Ord is one of those places I once dreamed of being stationed when I first joined the Army. Back then, it wasn’t just about location — it was about possibility. The ocean nearby, the cool breeze, the idea of serving where land meets sea. I never got that assignment. Life, as it tends to do, had other plans.

    But here I am years later. I am sitting on Fort Ord State Beach. The sun is warm on my face, and the sound of the Pacific rolls steadily against the shore. It’s October, and the air is softer than I remember it being when I last visited in August. That trip was foggy, cold, and gray. It was the kind of day that makes you pull your jacket tight. It makes you quicken your pace.

    Today is different. Today is golden.

    When Life Comes Full Circle

    It’s funny how life loops back around. Every base I ever wanted to be stationed at, my son somehow found his way to. It’s almost poetic — like he’s walking the same map, but on his own terms.

    It hit me when I first realized that. Maybe not getting what I wanted back then wasn’t a loss. It was preparation. Maybe my journey wasn’t about being there first but about understanding the path so he could walk it stronger.

    Watching him now — serving, leading, growing — I can see pieces of myself reflected in his path. The determination. The discipline. The quiet pride. And maybe even the longing for something bigger than yourself. It’s humbling to realize that our dreams sometimes outlive us, continuing through those we love.

    The Sound of Then and Now

    As I walk the dunes, I can almost hear echoes of what once was. Soldiers were running drills. Conversations were carried by the wind. I can remember the thud of boots on sand. Back in the day, this land was alive with military rhythm and purpose. Now, the base is quiet, transformed into trails and open beach.

    It’s peaceful in a way that feels earned.
    The hum of the waves replaces the cadence of marching feet.
    The gulls cry where orders once rang out.

    I pause to imagine the view through my younger eyes. I recall the ambition, the urgency, and the belief. I thought the next station would be the one that made it all make sense. I believed the next assignment would do that too. I even thought the next goal would give clarity. And now, decades later, I’m here not as a soldier. I am a woman, a mother, a creator. I am standing still long enough to let the lesson find me.

    A Different Kind of Arrival

    Back then, I thought fulfillment came from the next accomplishment — the next title, the next milestone, the next “station.”

    Now, I know better.
    Sometimes, the places we long for return not to test us, but to show us how much we’ve grown.

    Sitting on the warm sand, I watch the waves crash with a rhythm that commands respect. There’s no rush in their arrival. Each one comes when it’s ready — full of power, grace, and inevitability.

    Maybe that’s the quiet wisdom of life in motion: everything comes when it’s supposed to.

    Gratitude in Motion

    It’s strange how gratitude sneaks up on you. You can’t always chase it. Sometimes it finds you in moments like this. You’re not trying to make sense of anything. You’re just breathing and being.

    Here, the sunlight glints off the water like tiny medals, and I can’t help but smile at the symmetry. The military once stood for duty and structure for me — now it stands for lineage, connection, and legacy. I’m proud of where I’ve been, but even prouder of how far I’ve come.

    The younger me wanted orders to Fort Ord.
    The woman sitting here today realizes she didn’t need them.
    She just needed time, growth, and faith to circle back in her own way.

    Full-Circle Truths

    There’s a peace in realizing you didn’t miss your moment. It was simply waiting for you to become the person who could recognize it.

    Fort Ord may no longer be an active base, but it still holds presence, purpose, and power. Standing here feels like being in a memory that has healed itself. The should-haves and could-haves have been washed away by the tide.

    I close my eyes, breathe in the salt air, and listen to the ocean’s steady voice reminding me:

    You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

    I didn’t realize then that this beach still had more to teach me.

    Reflection Prompt

    What parts of your story have come full circle in unexpected ways?
    What dreams once felt delayed but returned at the right time?

    Author’s Note

    This piece was written after an unexpected moment of stillness on the beach at Fort Ord. What began as a simple walk became a bridge between who I was and who I am now. That quiet sense of completion stayed with me, which is why this story felt important to capture and share.

    • If this reflection spoke to you, follow Sweet N Social for more stories on movement. Discover meaning and notice the lessons that rise in everyday life.
    • Want the mini-conversations behind the reflections? Check out the podcast Here
    • You can join the Confident Strides community on Mighty Networks. Share your own full-circle moments and walk this journey with others.

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

    #ConfidentStrides #GrowthInMotion #SweetNSocial #MilitaryReflections #FortOrdBeach #GratitudeInMotion #LegacyAndPurpose

  • When Someone Reflects Back a Version of You That You Haven’t Fully Met Yet

    When Someone Reflects Back a Version of You That You Haven’t Fully Met Yet

    There are moments in conversation when someone reflects something back to you that feels both familiar and foreign. You hear the words, you recognize the truth in them, and yet… you’re surprised. Almost confused. Almost wondering, “Where did that come from?”

    I had one of those moments recently.
    A response landed so deeply that it stopped me in my tracks. It was accurate — deeply accurate — but it felt like it appeared from nowhere. For a second, I wondered if the insight belonged to me. Was it being handed to me outright?

    But the truth is this:
    It was mine.
    I just hadn’t fully met that version of myself yet.

    Sometimes we speak from deeper places than we realize. We share from intuition, experience, muscle memory, lived wisdom. We speak in fragments — and then someone reflects those fragments back to us fully formed.

    It can feel startling.
    It can feel like revelation.
    It can feel like someone is seeing a part of you you didn’t realize was showing.

    But often, what they’re reflecting isn’t new.
    It’s simply clearer than how you said it.

    We grow so steadily that we don’t always recognize our own growth until it’s mirrored back.

    Insight doesn’t always arrive neatly.
    Wisdom doesn’t always announce itself.
    Sometimes we’re already living into the next version of ourselves before we know how to speak from it.

    When someone reflects that back, it can feel like meeting yourself for the first time. They highlight the clarity, the depth, and the truth you didn’t realize you were revealing.

    Not the old you.
    Not the uncertain you.
    But the becoming you.

    The version that’s been forming quietly through walking, observing, practicing stillness, listening inward, and paying attention to life’s subtle lessons.

    So when a reflection surprises me now, I’m learning not to dismiss it. Instead, I pause and think:

    “Maybe this is me — just a version of me I haven’t fully grown into yet.”

    Self-awareness doesn’t always show up as a breakthrough.
    Sometimes it seems softly — through someone else’s words — inviting you to recognize the deeper truth you’ve already spoken.

    And when that happens, you’re not meeting them.
    You’re meeting yourself.

    Reflection Prompt

    When was the last time someone reflected something back to you? Did it feel true, even before you fully recognized it yourself?

    Author Notes

    This reflection came from a moment when something said in conversation felt deeply true but unexpected. It helped me realize that sometimes we speak from a wiser, more evolved part of ourselves without knowing it. When someone reflects that truth back, it can feel like meeting a new version of ourselves. This piece reminds us that growth often happens quietly beneath the surface. Sometimes, we need a mirror to recognize it.

    If this reflection spoke to you, follow Sweet N Social for more stories and lessons. You’ll find insights on walking, awareness, and the quiet ways we grow.

    By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social

  • Are External Factors Affecting Your Success? My Guess Is Yes

    Are External Factors Affecting Your Success? My Guess Is Yes

    “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” ― Jordan Belfort

    Have you ever stopped doing something you enjoyed because you didn’t get likes, subscribers or followers you wanted? I want to talk about how we can manage the external sources of influence that keep us from creating the life we want.

    One day while I was running, I was thinking to myself that I would stop making Instagram Reels. The problem with that thinking is, I love making Instagram Reel videos. I love taking 10-second clips of video and turning it into a snippet of entertainment. I think that is why I have enjoyed learning how to make YouTube videos too.

    Back to the problem, I was getting frustrated because I was losing followers on my IG page and I automatically assume it was because of the videos. I also started criticizing myself for posting videos of the nature I would see on my walks which helps me to stay creative.

    I was ready to stop doing the one of the things that brings me joy because of external sources. In many cases we don’t know or will never know why people unfollow, unsubscribe, or unlike us, but our minds will search for reasons and that what was happening to me.

    Here’s what we have to keep in mind, their action have nothing to do with us. We are internalizing or trying to rationalize what someone else is thinking when we try to “guess” or “figure out” what made them take action without ever asking them directly. When we do this, nothing positive usually comes from this kind of thinking. We are our worst critiques!

    When we decide to stop doing the things we enjoy doing because of likes, subscribers, or followers we are measuring our success by the standards of others. These are what we call external sources of influences. Learning how to navigate these external sources of influences is key especially when it comes to honoring what it is that we enjoy doing and makes us happy.

    Here are a few suggestions that have helped me:

    Define what success looks like to you.

    Asking yourself what feeling are you after is a great place to start. Are you after happiness? Inner peace? Fulfillment? Then ask yourself, what kinds of activities bring me those kinds of feelings?

    When I started walking years ago, I was looking for inner peace during a chaotic period of my life. Nine years later, I still walk because I found the inner peace I was looking for in my life. I also lost weight and my marriage is much healthier and stronger too.

    Keep in mind why you started in the first place.

    Sometimes when we stop to reconnect with our why, we remember what was the motivating force behind starting in the first place.

    For instance, when I started my YouTube channel, I started it as a way to provide uplifting content to deal with the COVID shutdown. I asked some of the life coaches in my network if they would like to share some insight on how to deal with the COVID shutdown. My goal was not to become a YouTube Influencer.

    By always remembering why I started my channel it helps me to keep in perspective what I am doing it for so when I don’t get the likes, subscribers or comments I don’t have the desire to quit. I have stronger reason to keep going and that is like sprinkles on the cupcake. It also helps me to stay consistent in uploading my content. Whoever is looking for it, when they need it, can find it!

    Remember that You Matter.

    I think this one is the most important factor in all of this. You matter and your voice matters. Our experiences in life are not exclusively for you. It is for you to share the lessons you learned because of it.

    When we take time to learn the lessons along our journey, they can become the missing pieces to someone else’s puzzle. When we allow the external sources of influence to stop us, we are saying subconsciously, that we do not matter and what we experience in life is irrelevant. That is one of the biggest lies we can say to ourselves. You matter, your opinions matter and someone is waiting for your message in the big beautiful world of ours.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I invite you to check out my Instagram Reels and leave a comment. Feedback is always welcome.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/excuses

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/confidentstrides/

  • Advice on How to Make Rules That Build Healthy Habits

    Advice on How to Make Rules That Build Healthy Habits

    “Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

    Quora Question: How did you force yourself to stick to healthy habits?

    The very first thing I did was determine what I wanted to create and then I set up rules that would protect my habit until it could “feed” itself.

    For instance, when I started my walking habit, my main objective was to find peace during a chaotic period of my life.  I had always enjoyed playing and being out in nature while I was growing up.  I found peace and happiness so when I needed to find peace, I went back to the one thing I knew would give me that. A walk in the park.  I never set out to become a “walker” it just felt right and natural.  Nine years later, I still find peace and happiness out on the trails.

    I would never encourage anyone to “force” themselves to do anything.  I think the biggest success comes from knowing your why first and trusting the process as it unfolds.  You can still set up “rules” like I will do two sit-ups during a commercial break, or I will drink water first thing in the morning, but these are ways to help you stay in alignment with your WHY.

    Another influence that helps you stay on course is taking each day one step at a time. Start small and let the motivation of each win carry you forward. A few months into my walking journey, I started paying attention to the kinds of food I was eating.  After a great walk, I didn’t want to ruin it by eating a burger and fries.  I slowly added salads to my diet.  

    No one likes to be pushed around so why would you want to do that to yourself?  

    As humans, we are designed with “three chairmen”, the mind, body, and spirit connection.  When they are in sync, you become unstoppable by simply deciding.  Get clear about your WHY and opportunities to help you achieve your goal will pop up on your mental radar.

    Here are some things to consider when implementing “rules”

    1. If you know the rules, then you know how to break them too especially if we are the ones who made them in the first place.  Rules serve a very important role when first establishing a new habit, but if they remain checked, they can also become the very thing that hinders your growth. 
    2. Consider rules like a baby’s crib, they serve to protect your habit but eventually we will outgrow them.  It isn’t until you want to create or break a habit that you realize just how much our rules have an influence on our behavior.  
    3. Realize that with everything that is worthwhile in having, it needs time and space to cultivate. By adding this new habit, consider what you need to prepare for it to grow.  For example, readers look for time to read even perhaps create a special corner or buy a special reading chair to ease their mind for reading mode. 
    4. What will help trigger your habit? Like I mentioned above, commercial breaks can be your trigger to do push-ups or sit-ups.  This reminds me of the time when I was in the military, and we were preparing for an upcoming fitness test.  Our commanders would post signs like “do 20 push-ups” on Post-It-Notes on their doors. If you entered their office, you had to do what was posted on the note.  It made it kind of fun especially when the whole company was involved.
    5. Keep it fun. Creating habits does not have to be forced. Get your family or friends involved to help you stay on track.  Celebrate the wins and keep track of your progress.  Seeing progress is another great way to keep you going.
    6. Last and certainly not least, give yourself grace.  The fact that you made the decision to change is the most important decision of all. Remember, if it was easy, everyone would do it!

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to check out my YouTube Channels and leave a comment.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/rules

    1. Confident Strides YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wjtS11
    2. Coffee With T YouTube Channel (Interviews) https://bit.ly/3rYLJHR

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • Creating Habits: 9 Ways to Stop the Need for External Approval

    Creating Habits: 9 Ways to Stop the Need for External Approval

    “Give space to your thoughts, clear the noise in your head, chit-chat with your inner critic, decide and move on.” ― Cristina Imre

    I woke up thinking about how I almost let my inner critic stop me from growing this week. Here’s my challenge.

    I love making Instagram Reels. It’s easy and fun for me to put little video clips together. What I figured out is that I could create the video clips and then add them to my YouTube channel as Shorts. It is a win-win for me and my viewers because I found another way to keep my original channel active now that I have moved my interview content to a whole new channel. This is also an opportunity to share more about who I am and what I do.

    There is only one thing that presents a struggle and that is my fear of talking directly into the camera. In order to overcome this resistance, I decided to talk about the one thing I feel pretty confident about and that is habits. I started recording mini videos of my talking about how to make habits stick as I work on my challenge of talking on video.

    I had one fluke video hit over 1600 views and I was feeling pretty good. The next couple of videos hit about 100 views and lately my videos are only attracting 3-6 views. I started obsessing about the view count and was ready to stop making videos. I started looking at the view count as my success indicator.

    My inner critic was in full attack mode and had enough ammunition to make me want to give up. I started questioning myself and this whole idea of creating YouTube Shorts. I started thinking I wasn’t doing the “right” thing. Fortunately, I woke up this morning with a refreshed attitude and a the insight of, “stop looking at the numbers.”

    After a few minutes of reflection, I realized “stop looking at the numbers” was code for stop looking for outside validation.

    How many times have you stopped doing what you enjoy doing because the numbers don’t look good, especially in the beginning? Did we start out doing it for the numbers? For me the answer is no. I wanted to share information on a subject that I love talking about and I thought could be of help to someone else. I also wanted to get pass my fear of speaking directly on camera.

    It is at these moments in time that the one person who pops in my head (surprisingly) is Cardi B. She went from being a stripper to becoming a rapper. I can only imagine how much negativity and limited self-talk she had to overcome. So when I think about giving up, I think about how other people had to overcome the same “stinking thinking” in order to do what they are doing today. If Cardi B can go from stripping to becoming a sought out entertainer, I can get past my fear of talking on camera!

    Who inspires you and why? Keep them in mind when your inner critic starts to creep in. There are so many people, who battle their inner critic everyday and are winning, and so can we!

    Here’s some additional suggestions I would like to offer up:

    1. Write out your “why” and keep it in view.
    2. Make a list of people who inspire you along with why they inspire you.
    3. Before making any major decisions, go for a walk or allow some time for you to think. Let you mind settle.
    4. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Awareness is key!
    5. Record your progress. Every little step forward is a win.
    6. Celebrate your wins.
    7. Find an accountability partner.
    8. Keep in mind that everyone has to start somewhere. It is always harder in the beginning.
    9. Don’t pay attention to the numbers! If the vision or the thought came to you, it belongs to you. You are the one who can bring it to life, if you choose to.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to check out my YouTube Channels and leave a comment.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/inner-critic

    1. Coffee With T YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wjtS11
    2. Confident Strides YouTube Channel (Interviews) https://bit.ly/3rYLJHR

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides

  • What is One Way to Create Good Habits That Stick? Be Intentional

    What is One Way to Create Good Habits That Stick? Be Intentional

    “If you are not consciously building your habits, they are unconsciously building you.” 
    ― Anika J. Green

    Quora Question: What is one way to create good habits that stick?

    I would like to begin by answering this question by saying, take an assessment of what you are doing right now. Pay attention to the types of activities you do right now because without knowing where you are, you won’t be able to know if you are heading in the right direction once you start. 

    There is a little tiny “GPS” in all of us that knows what we need and what we want, but for some reason, we turned the volume off or never even tried to turn it on in the first place.  

     My first bit of advice is to get still and listen for that small, tiny voice or start paying attention to what makes your heart sing.  These are clues that your soul is sending to us, and we must start listening otherwise the activities we try to incorporate into our lives will not stick. 

    Depending where you are on your personal development journey, there are things we can implement that can help us become better listeners.  I would like to offer a few suggestions here:

    1. Go for a daily walk.  You can start off with a 5 or 10-minute walk around your neighborhood or at a local park.  The point of starting is to make it simple and doable.  
    2. Start a gratitude journal.  When you write, you are making your thoughts visible.  You can’t write something without first thinking about it. Again, start small with maybe 3-5 things you are grateful for each day or once a week.
    3. Meditate.  Shut your devices off and sit quietly for 5-10 minutes. 

    These activities are great for helping to turn your personal, inner GPS system back on or helping you to adjust the volume back up. 

    What I have learned through my own personal journey is that what we do is influenced by what we believe is possible for ourselves.  This is where the inner “GPS” practices I mentioned above can come in handy.  By honestly assessing where we are mentally, emotionally, and physically, we can then determine what is working for us and what we need to change. 

    Here are some great questions to ask yourself that can help in your assessment:

    1. Who am I and who do I want to become? 
    2. What do I believe about myself and is it true?
    3. What kind of activity will help me to become this kind of person?
    4. What kind of person do I want to be know for?

    The bottom line is this… we are creatures of habits! We create all kinds of habits all of the time just by doing things, sometimes on purpose, and sometimes by accident. Habits become what we do without even having to think it. It takes a lot of energy to think and that is why our brains looks for ways to save energy. So, to create positive habits that stick, you must become intentional.  That means we must get our brains to wake up and think again about what we are doing. Bad habits can be formed just as easily as good habits. The difference is the kind of person you want to be identified as because of that activity. Runners run. Readers read. Creators create.

    Who do you want to be?

    Thinking is the magic ingredient that helps habits stick.  The key to implementing the kind of change to create the desired habits is to be intentional and make our activities small, simple, and doable until they become automatic.

    Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

    Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/intentional-living

    1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
    2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
    3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
    4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup

    To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides