Tag: self discipline

Creating Habits: 9 Ways to Stop the Need for External Approval
“Give space to your thoughts, clear the noise in your head, chit-chat with your inner critic, decide and move on.” ― Cristina Imre

I woke up thinking about how I almost let my inner critic stop me from growing this week. Here’s my challenge.

I love making Instagram Reels. It’s easy and fun for me to put little video clips together. What I figured out is that I could create the video clips and then add them to my YouTube channel as Shorts. It is a win-win for me and my viewers because I found another way to keep my original channel active now that I have moved my interview content to a whole new channel. This is also an opportunity to share more about who I am and what I do.

There is only one thing that presents a struggle and that is my fear of talking directly into the camera. In order to overcome this resistance, I decided to talk about the one thing I feel pretty confident about and that is habits. I started recording mini videos of my talking about how to make habits stick as I work on my challenge of talking on video.

I had one fluke video hit over 1600 views and I was feeling pretty good. The next couple of videos hit about 100 views and lately my videos are only attracting 3-6 views. I started obsessing about the view count and was ready to stop making videos. I started looking at the view count as my success indicator.

My inner critic was in full attack mode and had enough ammunition to make me want to give up. I started questioning myself and this whole idea of creating YouTube Shorts. I started thinking I wasn’t doing the “right” thing. Fortunately, I woke up this morning with a refreshed attitude and a the insight of, “stop looking at the numbers.”

After a few minutes of reflection, I realized “stop looking at the numbers” was code for stop looking for outside validation.

How many times have you stopped doing what you enjoy doing because the numbers don’t look good, especially in the beginning? Did we start out doing it for the numbers? For me the answer is no. I wanted to share information on a subject that I love talking about and I thought could be of help to someone else. I also wanted to get pass my fear of speaking directly on camera.

It is at these moments in time that the one person who pops in my head (surprisingly) is Cardi B. She went from being a stripper to becoming a rapper. I can only imagine how much negativity and limited self-talk she had to overcome. So when I think about giving up, I think about how other people had to overcome the same “stinking thinking” in order to do what they are doing today. If Cardi B can go from stripping to becoming a sought out entertainer, I can get past my fear of talking on camera!

Who inspires you and why? Keep them in mind when your inner critic starts to creep in. There are so many people, who battle their inner critic everyday and are winning, and so can we!

Here’s some additional suggestions I would like to offer up:
1. Write out your “why” and keep it in view.
2. Make a list of people who inspire you along with why they inspire you.
3. Before making any major decisions, go for a walk or allow some time for you to think. Let you mind settle.
4. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Awareness is key!
5. Record your progress. Every little step forward is a win.
6. Celebrate your wins.
7. Find an accountability partner.
8. Keep in mind that everyone has to start somewhere. It is always harder in the beginning.
9. Don’t pay attention to the numbers! If the vision or the thought came to you, it belongs to you. You are the one who can bring it to life, if you choose to.
Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to check out my YouTube Channels and leave a comment.

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/inner-critic
1. Coffee With T YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wjtS11
2. Confident Strides YouTube Channel (Interviews) https://bit.ly/3rYLJHR
To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
April 29, 2022
Successful Habits: How to Make Any Long-lasting Life Changes
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ― Will Durant

Quora Question: How do I turn something into a habit?

First and foremost, habits are always being created whether you realize it or not.

Habits can either bring positive results or negative consequences depending on what it is.  For instance, pulling out your phone and scrolling on social media sites when you are standing in a line can become a habit. It’s a natural, automatic response which can be defined as a habit.  The positive result may be to stay-up-to date with everything that is happening in your virtual world. The negative consequence could be missing out on the opportunity to meet new people standing in line with you.

The first rule of thumb in establishing a new habit is to understand why you want to create it in the first place.  What are your intentions?

You can ask yourself several questions to get to the heart to your “why.” Here are a few questions to start the inner dialog.
- What is the goal or result I want to achieve?
- Why is this important to me?
- What am I tired of? Sometimes negative consequences can be the motivational factor for creating a new habit or change.
- What are your needs and wants?
Once you get a clearer understanding as to why this change or habit is important to you, the “how” is easier to incorporate.

When I first started writing this blog, my consistency was horrible.  I would write a few posts then my mind would go blank.  It wasn’t until I took the time out to figure out that writing was a way for me to share my voice with others that I started to see opportunities to help me stay consistent. I use Quora to stay consistent. I look for questions that I can offer advice on.

Your ”how” is a way to express your “why.”  Get clear on your why and opportunities to fulfill it with start to pop up on your mental radar.

The next rule of thumb to establishing a habit it to allow time and space for it to grow.

This could be allowing physical time to establish a routine.  It also includes determining what old beliefs, people, or situations you might have to let go or bring in to help you.  Do you need to read more books on the subject, hire a coach or personal trainer, or re-configure your schedule?  Asking yourself questions is key.

I think many people are looking for a magic number for implementing change or creating a new habit which there really isn’t one.  The most effective way to implement change is to change your mindset first. Ask yourself, who is it that I want to become to achieve this type of goal and then watch the magic of transformation begin!

Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag?utf8=✓&id=habits
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup
To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
April 15, 2022
Abandon Doing What Comes Easy and Devote Your Time to The Life you Want
“Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun. If you do not, the sun will soon set, and you with it.” ― Marcus Aurelius

Quora Question: What do you do to pass the time other than social media (Reddit included), TV or reading a book?

My favorite “go-to” activity is always a walk in the park. I love getting out and connecting with nature. But like anything in life, I have times when I just don’t feel like walking. So, I would ask myself, “what else can I do that I can do for free?”

Here are some things that happened when I stopped watching TV, reduced my time on social media and applied action from the information I learned from the books I read.

I discovered Zentangle drawing on a networking call one day which is like a form of meditation. I started learning a foreign language last year. I learned how to use the editing software that came free on my computer and created my own podcast and used the video to create a YouTube channel. I made time to play and learn from my granddaughter on days I don’t have to work. I dedicate quiet time for self-reflection and journaling which has been life changing. I started and organized Meetup groups and connect with people in such places as India and Africa and I write for two blogs.

One of my favorite quotes I read that made such a huge impact was “Create before you Consume.” -Marie Forleo.

Time is always “passing by” but it is what you choose to do with your time and the kind of life you want to live that determines the quality of life you will have. Watching TV and surfing the internet are easy things to do, dig deeper and find out what you can create!

Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/goals-in-life

To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
February 4, 2022
Appreciate Yours Strengths: Advice on How to Have More Self-Discipline
“No person is free who is not master of himself.” ― Epictetus

I was going to pass on answering the following Quora question because it was geared toward school but the more I thought about this question I realized, this is not only relevant for people in school but you can also have the same challenge at work. So I decided to post an answer and I am sharing it here with you.

How can I have more self-discipline? I never do homework and I’m not doing well in school because I’m lazy and have no self-discipline. – Quora

The first thing I would change is the label you identify yourself with. You are not lazy; you are just not enthusiastic about learning. It could be that you are bored, and you need other ways to stimulate your brain.

For instance, I don’t like learning about money or finances, but I love learning about how our brains work.

When you find something that gets you excited in learning new things, look for ways that you can apply that enthusiasm towards the challenging subjects. If you enjoy gaming, use it to reward yourself for doing something you don’t like. For example, if you study for an upcoming test, after the test reward yourself with extra gaming time.

We all have something that is challenging for ourselves, the key is to not beat yourself up. Find what you are good at and use it as a catalyst to help you through the challenges.

As I mentioned in the beginning, I have always struggled with managing my finances, but I am great at management my time. I had to learn how to use the same disciple principles I learn in managing my time and apply it towards managing my finances. It’s harder but the concept is the same. I just had to learn to make the connection.

Here are some other suggestions you can consider:
- Everyone must overcome something to achieve their goals, read a few biographies and see how others overcame their challenges. Let their stories inspire you.
- Change the way you talk about yourself and to yourself. Your words and thoughts carry great power.
- Partner with others who help you become better. Join a study group or create one.
- Set a goal for yourself. If you have something to aim for, you know when you are off track and can adjust when you are heading in the wrong direction.
The most important takeaway I would like to close out with is the give yourself some grace. Be patient and loving with who you are. You just haven’t found what gets you excited yet and that’s okay.

I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/self-discipline

To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
January 14, 2022
Achievable Success: How to Cultivate a Daily Reading Habit
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” ― Dr. Seuss

How do I cultivate reading daily? – Quora

As we close out 2021, I thought this was a great Quora question for anyone looking to make lasting changes in 2022. I think reading is a great fundamental habit to cultivate that will make a big impact on anyone’s life.

My reading habit started out of curiosity. I was going through a period of struggle that just tested everything I had. I wanted answers!

I started out reading religious books. When I read the books, I would have the Bible as a reference guide to see what the whole scripture was about that was referenced in the book. My reading then expanded into self-help and personal development books. The more information I got out of reading my world view also expanded. My reading list now consists of books about neuroscience, business, finances to leadership and much more.

To cultivate a daily reading habit, I would like to offer a few suggestions:
1. Get curious- What questions do you have that you have been looking for answers for? Don’t just limit yourself to “second-hand” accounts like summaries or podcasts, go to the source. Learn where people are getting their information from and read it for yourself. What people extract from books are what “they” need or pick up. What you get out of a book, may be completely different.
2. Make reading a non-negotiable habit – I added reading to my daily schedule of events. It’s amazing what we do when we have a daily reminder of what we want to do each day. I put it on my calendar because it became important to me.
3. Be patient with yourself – Usually, we quit something if we don’t think it is working. Learning takes time like a seed takes time to grow. After a while, you’ll be able to recall information you read in your books and apply it to current struggles you face each day. It’s like your mind becomes a rolodex of information.
4. Share your knowledge with others. – This is also a great way to learn and retain the information. (Check out the food for thought on learning pyramid below). Readers become good writers.
No matter how you get started, always remember, anything worth having will take time to develop. If it was easy, everyone would do it!

Food for thought – According to the American educator Edgar Dale’s learning pyramid:

We remember…
- 10 percent of what we read,
- 20 percent of what we hear,
- 30 percent of what we see,
- 50 percent of what we see and hear,
- 70 percent of what we discuss with others,
- 80 percent of what we personally experience,
- 95 percent of what we teach others.
Food for thought excerpt taken from “Love People Use Things” by Joshua Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. Feel free to use this Amazon link to purchase the book and read along with me: https://amzn.to/3sHOCOv

I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/readingsuccess

To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides
December 27, 2021
Effective Lifestyle Habit Change Starts with Turning on Your GPS System First
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” ― Douglas Adams

How do I change lifestyle habits?- Quora

Before I think about creating or eliminating lifestyle habits, I like to see where I am on my road map called life.

The end of the year or a birthday, or any other lifechanging event is always a great time to take a closer look and see if we are still on the path for what you want out of life.  Don’t just look at what you want from your career but what you want personally and spiritually.  Are you still in alignment with those goals and dreams or have they changed?  That’s when you can figure out what you need to add or eliminate from your life.

What I wanted in life when I was twenty isn’t what I wanted when I reached my forties.  My lifestyle had changed that means my habits had to change too.

For example, I got serious about my health when I had a grandchild.  You think it would have been important throughout my life but realizing I wanted to be around when my grandchild turns 20 was a like a “aha” moment.  I started questioning what I must do to reach that dream or at least head in that direction.

I think any lifestyle change must begin with taking time for self-reflection.  By know where you are on the Life map, you can then set your GPS with intention. With intention, you will gain the clarity and focus you need to stay on your path. You will recognize what habits are taking you towards your destination and what ones are taking you away.

Here are some suggestions on how to reset or recalibrate you GPS system if you’ve gotten off track:
1. Unplug – Disconnect from the distractions that are keeping you from hearing the navigation. Take time to reconnect with who you are. Take up walking, running, or cycling, or something that gets you out of your head and back in balance.
2. Trust the process- Many times we think we know the way and don’t trust the insight that we are receiving from within. We look for external guidance instead of learning how to turn up the GPS volume. We turn it down or off if we don’t like what we are getting.
3. Become a lifetime learner. We are not alone in our struggles. By reading and learning from others, we cut our learning curve in half the time. Time is too short to be going around in circles.
4. Determine what’s right for you. This goes with the first suggestion. The more you find out what’s right for you, you begin to do what’s right for you and turning off the external noise of the world gets a little bit easier.
5. Celebrate how far you have come. This is a life road map, so enjoy the ride!
When you start with knowing who you are and what you want, take a step everyday towards it. This is a life journey not a life sprint.

I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/navigation

To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides
December 24, 2021
A Day of Relaxation

I watch my granddaughter four days out of the week. On days I don’t have her, I try and make them my “Relaxation Days” but on most occasions, I get a feeling of restlessness.

One Monday afternoon, on a day I didn’t have Charli, I just couldn’t sit still. On most days, when I have “Charli Watch”, I start my day at 4 AM by listening to morning motivation videos on YouTube, do early morning stretches with Joanna Suh, and sit in mediation with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. By 5:30 AM, I am off to the gym for a date with a treadmill. I make it back home with enough time to get my son up and off to school with a smoothie. My morning is like a well oiled machine.

My thinking days without Charli as “off days” , I feel I don’t have to put in work. I do not have to get up early and I do not have to put in the effort to take care of myself, I just want to “relax.” I finally realized at self-care isn’t work, it’s necessary to have a balanced and productive day, no matter what is on the schedule. So I will put in the work , maybe just not so early in the morning.

References:

Photo Source: Click Here. Stretching: YouTube Channel Meditation: The Chopra Center

April 30, 2018
Cheers to You!

What I love about the new year is that it always brings new opportunities. There is always a sense of excitement and enthusiasm that is just so powerful. This is the time to set your goals and establish positive habits that will help sustain you throughout the year to meet those goals. My wish for everyone during this coming year is lots of happiness, personal growth and abundance.

Photo credit: click here.

January 3, 2017
Why Argue?

I used to argue, fuss and fight to voice my opinion. Those days are long gone. People are quick to offer up opinions based on what “they” believe. For example, if someone says that something you want to do is “impossible” it is based on the opinion that it is impossible for “them”. Realizing this, instead of arguing, I allow folks to “keep” their opinion and I go about with my own. I just say “watch me!”

Photo credit: click here.

December 14, 2016
Greatness Will Come

It is not the quantity of followers a person has but the quality of content that the person provides that matters. If you know that what you are providing is quality content and information, eventually people will take notice. Consistency is the key and a self discipline not everyone has. Trust the process.

Photo credit: click here.

November 21, 2016