Tag: self improvement advice

Creating Habits: 9 Ways to Stop the Need for External Approval
“Give space to your thoughts, clear the noise in your head, chit-chat with your inner critic, decide and move on.” ― Cristina Imre

I woke up thinking about how I almost let my inner critic stop me from growing this week. Here’s my challenge.

I love making Instagram Reels. It’s easy and fun for me to put little video clips together. What I figured out is that I could create the video clips and then add them to my YouTube channel as Shorts. It is a win-win for me and my viewers because I found another way to keep my original channel active now that I have moved my interview content to a whole new channel. This is also an opportunity to share more about who I am and what I do.

There is only one thing that presents a struggle and that is my fear of talking directly into the camera. In order to overcome this resistance, I decided to talk about the one thing I feel pretty confident about and that is habits. I started recording mini videos of my talking about how to make habits stick as I work on my challenge of talking on video.

I had one fluke video hit over 1600 views and I was feeling pretty good. The next couple of videos hit about 100 views and lately my videos are only attracting 3-6 views. I started obsessing about the view count and was ready to stop making videos. I started looking at the view count as my success indicator.

My inner critic was in full attack mode and had enough ammunition to make me want to give up. I started questioning myself and this whole idea of creating YouTube Shorts. I started thinking I wasn’t doing the “right” thing. Fortunately, I woke up this morning with a refreshed attitude and a the insight of, “stop looking at the numbers.”

After a few minutes of reflection, I realized “stop looking at the numbers” was code for stop looking for outside validation.

How many times have you stopped doing what you enjoy doing because the numbers don’t look good, especially in the beginning? Did we start out doing it for the numbers? For me the answer is no. I wanted to share information on a subject that I love talking about and I thought could be of help to someone else. I also wanted to get pass my fear of speaking directly on camera.

It is at these moments in time that the one person who pops in my head (surprisingly) is Cardi B. She went from being a stripper to becoming a rapper. I can only imagine how much negativity and limited self-talk she had to overcome. So when I think about giving up, I think about how other people had to overcome the same “stinking thinking” in order to do what they are doing today. If Cardi B can go from stripping to becoming a sought out entertainer, I can get past my fear of talking on camera!

Who inspires you and why? Keep them in mind when your inner critic starts to creep in. There are so many people, who battle their inner critic everyday and are winning, and so can we!

Here’s some additional suggestions I would like to offer up:
1. Write out your “why” and keep it in view.
2. Make a list of people who inspire you along with why they inspire you.
3. Before making any major decisions, go for a walk or allow some time for you to think. Let you mind settle.
4. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Awareness is key!
5. Record your progress. Every little step forward is a win.
6. Celebrate your wins.
7. Find an accountability partner.
8. Keep in mind that everyone has to start somewhere. It is always harder in the beginning.
9. Don’t pay attention to the numbers! If the vision or the thought came to you, it belongs to you. You are the one who can bring it to life, if you choose to.
Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to check out my YouTube Channels and leave a comment.

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/inner-critic
1. Coffee With T YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wjtS11
2. Confident Strides YouTube Channel (Interviews) https://bit.ly/3rYLJHR
To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
April 29, 2022
How to Easily Organize Your Day and Increase Productivity While Working From Home
“Everyone is self employed and your employer is you.” ― Todd Stocker

Quora Question: Are you working from home? What are the tips to help you stay productive?

I retired from the military in 2010. The last “traditional” job I had outside the home was in 2019. I currently manage two YouTube channels, a podcast channel and five Meetup groups. I also write a weekly blog working Monday through Thursday.

What has been the biggest ‘aha’ for me was realizing I have the right to create my own schedule. For example, I use to ask people, “what day did they want to conduct the recording for the podcast?” I no longer ask. Now provide the days and times I am available. If they are interested in being a guest most of the time, they have found the time to hop on my calendar. It’s like my mother use to say, “when there is a will, there is a way”. This also goes for our schedules and our productivity goals too. Once you determine what is important to you, you will find the time to get it done!

Here are a few of suggestions I would like to offer in helping you stay productive:
1. Use a daily or weekly planner. Take time to brain dump all the things you want to get done along with the target date for completion. Seeing your tasks written out helps to get the things on your list done. If you are operating with the thoughts in your head, you won’t be able to get a clear picture of what’s going on in your head. Writing things down helps to make your thoughts visible.
2. Implement daily exercise like a walk. Movement helps to gain clarity. With more clarity, you can determine what is your priority for the day.
3. Eliminate distractions. One of the things I implemented was setting my phone to automatically enable the Do-Not-Disturb function daily. Most phones have an emergency override feature so you can always be reached. Use that DND time to work on important tasks that require your undivided attention.
4. Make sure you get up and move throughout the day. As I mentioned, movement helps with clarity. With clarity comes focus. If you are having trouble focusing, get up and move. I sometimes turn on my music and just dance around to get my body moving.
5. Use your smart devices to your advantage. I use my Alexa as my personal assistant. Use it to set reminders for daily tasks and appointment reminders.
6. Say no to activities that are not helping you accomplish your goals. I had to scale back on attending networking events, “free” webinars, and scrolling social media sites of others. I learned to guard my attention like I guard my money. Remember: everyone is via for your attention these days.
7. Celebrate your wins. Set personal target dates with rewards for accomplishing them. It’s amazing how hard we work on days just before we go on vacations. Use this kind of thinking to your advantage. Set daily, weekly, or monthly goals that will inspire you to work hard and then reward yourself.
Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.

Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/self-employed
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup
To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
April 8, 2022
Focus on You – Ways on How to Be Better Person
“It is less about becoming a better person, and more of being better, as a person.” ― J.R. Rim

How can I be better for myself and my partner? – Quora

My relationships got better when I stopped trying to change my partner and focused on changing myself.  My husband and I have been married now for fifteen years.  I had been married twice before.  This marriage was heading towards divorce too until I got an epiphany on a walk one day where I asked myself, “what has all of these marriages have in common?”  The answer was ME!

I went from relationship to relationship never taking time out to figure out who I was. I was carrying baggage from one relationship to another without taking time to unpack from the last relationship.

This marriage would have ended too if I hadn’t learned that I can’t change others, the only person I have control over is myself.

I started reading books on spirituality to personal development, including books on personal relationships.  I started asking myself questions like, “what or how have I contributed to the marriage breakdowns?”  Looking back now, I realized, I really didn’t know what love was. Learning about self-care was an eye-opener!

During that time in my life, I started to learn more about what I liked and didn’t like. I learned about forgiveness not only for my ex-husbands but for myself.  I learned that life is as good as our current mindset.  Change your mindset and watch your life change too.

I would offer this advice, to be better for others, the journey to be better must begin from within you first. (I know it sounds backwards!)

Here’s are a few ideas I would like to offer:
1. Learn about self-care is all about.
2. Practice forgiveness with others and yourself
3. Find out what triggers your emotions. Pay attention to what makes you mad, sad, happy, and peaceful. Don’t suppress then, feel them all.
4. Read and learn. Focus on expanding your mind. Others have been where you are and can offer great insight or at least a different perspective on how to look at things.
5. Extend grace to others as well as yourself. We are all doing the best we can with our current state of mind. One of my favorite quotes “When you know better, you do better.” -Maya Angelou.
I would like to close out with this, take time out to figure out who you are and what you like. If we don’t take time out to learn about ourselves, no one else will do it for us. Remember, when you change for the better, life will reflect that change back to you.

I also would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/better-person

To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides
January 10, 2022
Effective Lifestyle Habit Change Starts with Turning on Your GPS System First
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” ― Douglas Adams

How do I change lifestyle habits?- Quora

Before I think about creating or eliminating lifestyle habits, I like to see where I am on my road map called life.

The end of the year or a birthday, or any other lifechanging event is always a great time to take a closer look and see if we are still on the path for what you want out of life.  Don’t just look at what you want from your career but what you want personally and spiritually.  Are you still in alignment with those goals and dreams or have they changed?  That’s when you can figure out what you need to add or eliminate from your life.

What I wanted in life when I was twenty isn’t what I wanted when I reached my forties.  My lifestyle had changed that means my habits had to change too.

For example, I got serious about my health when I had a grandchild.  You think it would have been important throughout my life but realizing I wanted to be around when my grandchild turns 20 was a like a “aha” moment.  I started questioning what I must do to reach that dream or at least head in that direction.

I think any lifestyle change must begin with taking time for self-reflection.  By know where you are on the Life map, you can then set your GPS with intention. With intention, you will gain the clarity and focus you need to stay on your path. You will recognize what habits are taking you towards your destination and what ones are taking you away.

Here are some suggestions on how to reset or recalibrate you GPS system if you’ve gotten off track:
1. Unplug – Disconnect from the distractions that are keeping you from hearing the navigation. Take time to reconnect with who you are. Take up walking, running, or cycling, or something that gets you out of your head and back in balance.
2. Trust the process- Many times we think we know the way and don’t trust the insight that we are receiving from within. We look for external guidance instead of learning how to turn up the GPS volume. We turn it down or off if we don’t like what we are getting.
3. Become a lifetime learner. We are not alone in our struggles. By reading and learning from others, we cut our learning curve in half the time. Time is too short to be going around in circles.
4. Determine what’s right for you. This goes with the first suggestion. The more you find out what’s right for you, you begin to do what’s right for you and turning off the external noise of the world gets a little bit easier.
5. Celebrate how far you have come. This is a life road map, so enjoy the ride!
When you start with knowing who you are and what you want, take a step everyday towards it. This is a life journey not a life sprint.

I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/navigation

To connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides
December 24, 2021