Tag: sharing my life

The World is Waiting: How to Build Self Confidence to Be Seen
“You can keep as quiet as you like, but one of these days somebody is going to find you.” ― Haruki Murakami

Quora Question: What are you hiding from the world?

I am a planner person. I love the washi tape and stickers and all that crafty, creativity stuff!  I used to run an Esty shop and sell my items at craft shows, so when I sit down to work on my planner, I usually have it all laid out on the living room floor. Recently, when I had all my crafting stuff out to update my planner and my husband was upstairs, I could hear him getting ready to come downstairs and my first reaction was to gather up all my things.  As I started to, the first thought that popped in my head was “stop hiding.”

Ask yourself… what are you hiding from the world?

I can’t speak for others, but as a child of an alcoholic parent and a young girl who grew up in an area where there weren’t many others who looked like me, you try not to bring attention to yourself. It wasn’t until a few years ago, that I realized my opinions and feelings mattered.  I didn’t learn anything about self-care until I was in my forties.  That’s a long time to stay in a hiding place.

As I continue to come out of my hiding space, I am learning more about who I am and what I want, and I encourage you to come out of your hiding place too!

Our “wounds have wisdom” as Oprah Winfrey often says.  What I am learning along this journey is our experiences can be lessons for us and blessing for others. Here are some practices that have helped me thus far:
1. Meditation. I sign up for the free meditation programs that Deepak Chopra offers. You can also search YouTube for guided meditation practices if this of interest to you. I like the guided meditations in the beginning because they helped me stay focused.
2. Reading. Anything you are interested in learning is available in a book, an eBook, or an audiobook. Reading helped me to realize, I am not alone. Many of the personal struggles we are dealing with, have been encountered by others who chose to share how they overcame and can be a source of inspiration for you.
3. Walking or Exercise. Getting up and moving is a great way to shift your energy. I say it helps to get the “gunk” out of our system. It’s like taking your car our on the highway and opening it up.
4. Join a group. There are several great groups that you can connect with in-person as well and virtually.
5. Journal. I started journaling years ago, but I never stayed consistent. What I found that can help is keeping the journal in my sights. If I see it, I am reminded to pick it up and write.
6. Blog. Share your story with others. You may hold the key to unlocking someone else’s breakthrough.
7. Have Grace with Yourself. Your life is a marathon not a sprint. Take time to sit and get to know who you are. You are worth it!
Quote Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/hiding

Thank you for taking time out to read this post. I would love to learn more about who you are and what you do. Feel free to connect with me through a Meetup group.
1. Confident Strides Women’s Empowerment Network https://bit.ly/CSWENMeetup
2. Confident Strides Personal Development Network Group https://bit.ly/CSPDNMeetup
3. Confident Strides Women’s Professional Network https://bit.ly/CSWPNMeetup
4. Confident Strides Entrepreneurs Network https://bit.ly/CSENMeetup
To connect with me: https:///confidentstrides
March 4, 2022
Advice on How to Effectively Succeed in Life: Subtract First, Then Add
“Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Subtracting is just as effective in business as adding is. The trouble is we don’t think of that mathematical equation first. As an entrepreneur, I am always wanting to add things or processes without taking time to see how or even if this “new” thing should or can be added. It may be a great thing to add but we don’t take the time to see if the time is now to add it and if we add it, what will be affected.

Today, on a business call with a colleague, we discussed the process of elimination. My colleague shared how she looks at the process of elimination as troubleshooting. She has an IT background and shares that by troubleshooting the challenge, we slowly close off different process to see where the proverbial leak is. For example, if you shut off the water line to the kitchen sink to fix a leak but you still have a leak, you know the leak, or the problem isn’t coming from the kitchen sink. You continue to shut off other valves until you isolate the problem source.

We can use this same thinking to find out what is working and not working in our business as well in our personal lives.

I used to do a lot of adding without taking the time to see what was truly working before adding something new to my business. By the time I realized it wasn’t working, I invested either too much time or too much money and found myself too overwhelmed and simply quit. I would simply shut down and then think I failed. Now moving forward, I am working on being more strategic, more intentional about what I want to do and create. I want my “why” to be in alignment with my “what’, which means if I add anything I have to consider subtracting something else.

Subtracting also can mean delegating that task to someone else or finding another way to automate the process. I have found that I would feel like I had to do everything by myself which is another topic to discuss. But what I want to leave you with today is this:
1. Get clear on your purpose or intention
2. Figure out what’s working and what’s not
3. Before adding, consider what do you have to subtract.
As I mentioned in the beginning, this practice is just as effective in our personal lives as it is in business. In our personal life it may be eliminating or cutting back on social media or television time to spend more time with family or adding more time for personal development and reading.

What I believe is this: we are creatures of habit and how we do anything is how we do everything.

Quote Source: https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/subtraction.html

Connect with me: https://linktr.ee/confidentstrides
October 19, 2021
What Are the Bennie’s?

Today on my morning run I was able to log in 6.62 miles. It’s a personal best for me so far. I started running about three months ago. I started running from my house to the local park which I estimate to be about one mile from my home. I focused on either running to the park and then walking the rest of my normal trail. I have been an avid walker for over five years. I believed as many other walkers that walking is better than running. I could list a number of reasons to support my thinking.

I used to run cross country in high school. I grew up in the northeast corner of Connecticut where our high school mascot was a mountaineer. I loved running the mountain trails but I was not a fan of running it self. I still don’t think I love running, I just love the benefits or the “bennies” that it provides.

Thinking about it, the benefits of the things we do is what drives us to do them. It’s truly not the activity it self. So when it comes to making changes in your lives, the one true question you first have to answer is, what is the benefit, or the bennie’s, I am getting out of this? Without taking the time to reflect on each habit or change you want to make, it’s pointless without figuring out what it is that your are looking to gain or to eliminate.

Think about this as we bring 2019 to a close. Now is the time to reflect on what is working and what is not. Design your life the way you want to, not by the opinions of others! What benefits are you looking to gain in the coming year?

Photo Source: Click Here

December 5, 2019
It’s Not That Important

It’s not that Important” were the words being shouted from the backseat of the car the other day when my husband and I were “discussing” where to place the cell phone in order to hear the navigational directions. I will admit that I got “caught up” in the discussion because I was trying to make my opinion known. Of course my husband had his own idea on where he wanted to put the phone since he was driving.

My three year old granddaughter interjected herself into the conversation by saying “its not that important”. The thing that caught my attention, besides this little person yelling from the backseat and the fact that she couldn’t quite say the word “important” was when I stopped to think about what was happening at that moment, she was right. I had let my ego step in.

I laugh now because it took the words of a three year old to remind me that sometimes the little things we make the biggest fuss over are the little things that can begin to tear a relationship apart. The best thing we can do is stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself, just how important is it for me to be right?

Photo Source: Click here.

November 7, 2019
I Won the Jeep!

For anyone who has followed my blogs over the past few years knows that I had an auto accident in 2013. It was a rainy Halloween night when I lost control of my BMW and hit the cement divider wall and totaled my car. My BMW was my retirement gift to myself. My husband and I were going through some financial challenges at the time and my car was the only thing I refused to part with.

I remember the evening well because it was the beginning of my spiritual journey. That night of the accident was when I first noticed the tiny whispers of the Universe. As I sat in the back seat of the police car, I remember a calming presence within that was saying everything is going to be alright. I remember thinking “God, you have my attention now!”

Fast forward to 2019 and I am sitting in a huge convention center. My company is about to do a drawing for a 2019 Jeep Cherokee Trailhawk. As I watch the tickets being mixed up, I am thinking my chances of winning is not looking good. There must have be thousands of pink raffle tickets being mixed up in the large clear rotating raffle drum. But I decided not to focus on that, instead I started thinking about how it would feel to be seated in the Jeep, taking in the new car smell. I could hear them calling the numbers. I started thinking, I’m still in the running as they called off the first four numbers. By the 6th number, I was thinking, the winning number is really close to one of my four tickets I had. It wasn’t until they announced the name of the winner that it hit me… I won!

I believe that the Universe is always speaking to us. My accident in 2013 was a wake up call to what life is trying to get me to notice. I make it a practice to stay present and enjoy the beautiful blessing that surround me. I know this post can not express the sheer gratitude, faith and appreciation I have for such a loving, generous, and supportive Life Force, but what I want to say is Thank you!

May 20, 2019
Creeping Through My List

Each year brings a new adventure. This year, I decided to recommit myself to my network marketing business. Like many others, I associated negatively with network marketing. I never bothered to see if I was perhaps a contributing factor to past failures.

One of my goals has been to re-connect with people. I have been reaching out to people who are on my contact list to see if they are interested in coffee. This story is about a failed attempt. Here’s what happened:

Me: Coffee, next week?

Woman: No

Me: Thank you

Woman: For what?

Me: I appreciate you responding back.

Woman: Who is this?

Me: Tonia Tyler

Woman: Who

Me (I thought I knew her): I used to manage you social media account when I worked with …

Now, I am trying to remember if this is a person I met back in my PR days, so I look at her FB page.

Me: Pure Romance?

Woman: How old are you?

By now, I realize I definitely got her confused with someone else.

Me: Never mind. I realize you don’t know me so please forget it.

Woman: Okay

Woman: You are a creeper (something along those lines)

I almost decided to respond, but then I just deleted our text conversation and her contact information. I was one of those people who use to collect business card and fail to follow up. I know now that just because we don’t do business today, does not mean we might not do business later, if at all. It’s not about how many names you have on a list, it’s about the friends you make from your opportunities.

January 7, 2019
Live for Today

By the time this posts, I will have been to Missouri and back. My family and I are heading to Ft Leonard Wood to see my son graduate from basic training. I have been able to follow his training along through Facebook posts that the company has shared. The closer we get to graduation, the more excited I am getting. I haven’t seen my son in over two months, so even if it’s just for two days, the seven hour drive is worth it.

Last night, just before I went to bed, thinking about seeing my son had me thinking about those who have lost loved ones. I lost my mother over fourteen years ago. I miss her but I am not “lost” without her. We had a wonderful relationship and I told her everything. I was able to talk with her the day before she died, and after all of the years that have passed, I still remember my last words to her, “Mom, get some rest. I love you.”

That memory reminds me that I must never take anything or anyone for granted. It’s not about how long we live but how we live that matters. Let those who are close to you know that they matter and how much you love them. No one is promised tomorrow so learn to live today!

November 5, 2018
Plant Yourself a Garden

What is it about reading that I love? I was not always a reader. I picked up the habit of reading more once I turned off the television. I love to read nonfiction books. The self-help to the neuroscience. Not everything I read do I understand at first, but the more I read, the more I learn and start to understand. Slowly the information sinks in to my brain.

It has happened over many years that some of the information that I’ve read started to make sense years after I’ve read it. It’s like planting a garden. The harvest will not bloom immediately, but eventually the seeds start to sprout. I start to understand. Another way to look at it is in the effects of compound interest. We build a foundation and everything after the foundation is built upon the information that we learned previously. Each layer is helping you raise up to the next level. Each new book plants a new fruit, flower or tree.

I would also like to share that the more I read, the more my world expands. You do not have to put into action everything that you read nor do you necessary have to agree with the author’s opinion. Learn to process what works for you and let go of the stuff that doesn’t. In the end, you have a much broader harvest to pick from.

October 8, 2018
Playing Catch

Today is the day I walk with a walking club. I don’t compete but I do use other walkers as incentive to push myself. In most cases, you look for a walker who is ahead of you and you make them your focal point. Once I can find a target walker, I put my head down and focus on my walking technique and breathing. With such focus, you can usually “walk them down” in other words, you can catch them. I’ve been catch and I have caught others.

I did not try and walk anyone down today. I started late so I just focused on my walking stride and breath. I did start to pass people. After the walk was over, a gentleman can over and told me he looks for me on the trail. I’ve seen this man on several occasions but we’ve never spoken to each other before. He told me he had to let me know, he looks to try and stay ahead a head of me but he knows that I will pass him eventually.

What I’ve found most beneficial is to not worry about who is behind you. Stay focused on whose ahead. Its not about getting catch, its about making them reach.

August 27, 2018
Goal Analysis

Like so many people, I struggle with getting things done, especially if it makes me feel like work to me. It’s a real struggle especially when I retired from the military years ago. I battle with laziness. I know if I can admit it, I am recognizing it, and ultimately I can change it. Like a cost analysis, I assess my productivity by conducting a goal analysis. Its simple. Let me explain.

On many occasions for instance, I love to run to my favorite book buying spot to browse the books. I use browsing loosely because I can always find something to buy. I have many books at home, not to mention a library reading list that will definitely take time to read through. What I have to do for myself is redirect my impulse to run to the store towards something that will actually get me closer to creating a legacy for my family. I know that just buying more books will not get me there.

Awareness is the first key to conducting my analysis. I ask myself this: “is what I want to do going to get me closer or father away from my goal?” If the answer is no, the next question is: “what action can I do right now, that will?” I realize it just a simple matter of redirecting my energy and focus into more productive activities that will get me closer to what I want to achieve in life rather than what I want to buy throughout life.

August 20, 2018